Runaway. - Comments

First off, I love your title for its simplicity and the layout is great too.

I was a bit confused reading this. In my experience you don't have unprotected sex routinely (as it sounded) unless you're trying to get pregnant. So I found that a bit strange.

I do like the idea that Danny was having problems staying clean so he needed to be alone, but the whole thing was just a bit emotionless. There was no real passion. Even with Odette giving her reasons for not telling Danny. It was just really impersonal. It'd be great if you could go back and just add bit more description and emotive language in those really intense scenes.

I kinda struggle with how they met in Michigan too. As this isn't AU, I'm just thinking it makes so much more sense for them to have met in England?

It was sweet how they came together at the end, but again, it felt very emotionless and empty. I just didn't feel it. But going back and editing, adding in some more description with a focus on adding emotion, you'll definitely get there.

As you wrote this a few years ago, I'm sure you could do even a quick edit and bring more umph to it, as it's a pretty solid idea. If you do edit, let me know and I'll be sure to read it!

Good luck in the contest!

Aww! this is too cute! I mean wow! I didn't think something like that would happen! It is so cute! I love how Danny goes back to her, and how it puts so many emotions into it, such as love, sad, happy etc. I love it :D I hope you do more writing :D You're writing skills are really good. I think the only issue is that the layout font is a little to small, maybe it's just me; and I'm blind as fuck. But oh's wellssss..... :D Keep writing sweetie!!!

Aw! That was so cute! I loved it. I'm so glad Danny came back and OMG the ring was gorgeous. They'll be great parents together :)

This was a nice cute story. I like how you linked two stories in one. No errors that I found. Nice layout. Then again its a fan fiction. No biggie. Still liked the story(: Keep writing and don't let anybody ever tell you different.

This was so unbelievable cute. I can't really describe it. Amazing work. Agh, seriously, I am speechless. Amazing. Awesome. :D Thanks again. Good Luck!<3

This was so cute! For a second, I was kind of thinking she would end up with Jimmy. Stupid thought...
I loved how you tied everything together at the end with the runaway flashback.
Fantastic job. I have no other comments besides that. Amazing.

This was so cute, I liked that it was actually a happy ending. Good job. :)

I actually love this so much.

The beginning made me wanna cut myself but the ending was so cute and perfect, love it.

Aw I loved this story

I loved this! So cute :)

I love happy endings :') :p
I love how you referenced the 'runaway' bit at the ending, it tied everything together (:
Good luck! :D

loved this (:

I agree.This is the cutest story i have ever read.(:

oh my god. This is so cute! :D