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Starting Over - Comments

  • Leslie.

    Leslie. (100)

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    This was adorable. Loved it! Good luck!
    August 14th, 2011 at 09:03pm
  • ethereal.

    ethereal. (100)

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    I liked the plot, and I thought you portrayed the characters well. They were both believable. I agree with daninatt11 about the punctuation. I also would have loved more description and backstory, but thats just my opinion

    Can't wait for your next entry!
    August 10th, 2011 at 01:00pm
  • daninatt11

    daninatt11 (100)

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    It had a well thought out storyline, good work on that.
    One thing you could improve is the punctuation; Try to paragraph your writing instead of it being one huge lump, when characters are having conversations make it more clear who's talking and when or it can get kinda confuzzling.

    Good job overall though, I'm looking forward to reading more of your writing!
    August 10th, 2011 at 10:46am
  • ALLSTARLOVE333

    ALLSTARLOVE333 (450)

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    this is really sweet! I like it :) it is similar to common concepts, but it is taken a completely different route than the normal stories with this concept, and I like that... hope that made some sense :P
    August 4th, 2011 at 09:13pm
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