Therapy - Comments

@ mosher123
Aha the size of Japan
I really do like it, and you have a good story here! I can't wait for the re write.

@ Snow.White.Queen.
Don't worry about it. I do t even go in comment swap anymore because it keeps giving me the same story even thought I've left about 8 comments the size if Japan.
Oh and I'm glad you like the layout.

Okay so apparently Le Comment Swap didn't like the first comment I left you. But since I've already commented and told you what I think of this story I'm just going to ramble until this is long enough. Although I did notice in my last comment I didn't say anything about your layout; it's really lovely. The banner is particularly nice. Again, sorry for having to leave you another comment

@ mosher123
No problem, I hope I didn't come across too harsh. I'll definitely be keeping a look out for your re write in the future.

@ Snow.White.Queen.
Thank you for your comment. Everything you've said is really helpful. I'm actually re-writing this because I went through a time when I just needed to re-write it. The story will be the same it'll just be written differently. I'm really glad you've commented because its given me inspiration to start writing it again. I hope you'll like the new one as much as this one.

I'm loving this so far. It's rare that I actually like All Time Low fan fictions, but this one is the exception. I think your plot is great, I haven't really read anything like this before. I like your descriptions, but I don't think you have enough of them. Adding more could improve this story immensely. I think your grammar definitely needs work, proof reading can help though. All constructive criticism aside, I love this, update soon!
Here from Le Comment Swap.

i loveee this story! update soon:)

Ugh, you're so lucky to get to go to America :O Have fun! xxxx

Love this please update soon

Eeek! Update as soon as you can please <3 I love this story xD

I love this story :')

RIP Taylor <3 Long Live Hustlers.

Oh man, this is good. :)

So I read through all six of the chapters, and I found quite a few mistakes. Your grammar is off, you used the wrong form of various different words, as well as a lack of proper punctuation. I also think that you could use a bit more description in all of your chapters. I felt like you just told us most things, and didn't really show it. There were a few good describing words used, but I think it would help if you went back and edited the chapters to improve them even more.

The plot is good and ver interesting. However, maybe some more spacing between each sentence would be easier to read, also, using periods at the end of the sentence is important and using the quotations correctly is important as well. It's good so far, just remember to use periods, especially in the first chapter. :)

A little critic that will help your story feel more professional: I think you need to grasp better how grammar works when you're writing a story. While I'm thankful you know how to use quotations somewhat, what was absent from the first chapter was the lack of periods. That's a really big no-no when it comes to writing. A period is the most important thing in a story. Without them, everything gets jumbled together and you don't know when one thought starts and another ends.

You also need to capitalize the beginning of dialogue, seeing as that is proper, and have commas after the last word in quotations. Example: "Hi, I'm Jack; you must be Grace," Jack said, shaking her hand crazily.

That sentence in your story would be great if you wrote it, and everything else like that.

Other than that, just continue on with your plot and work a lot more when it comes to grammar and punctuation. Never forget the almighty period!

Excuse me while I cry over how good this is <3

more and lisa deserved it hell i would kick her ass lol

awesome! I hate Lisa ughhhhh! <3

Wow love this please update soon

This is intriguing