You'll Never Outrun What Waits for You Tomorrow - Comments

Loved this can't wait to read more

The story as a whole is pretty good. The plot is easy to follow and I didn't get confused with anything. The characters are believable to a point where you just want to step into the story and give them a hug or offer some kind of advice. The pairing you have going on work really well, each character seems to balance another one out.

I love this story so far. There aren't many good DJ Ashba stories on here and I love the way this one is turning out so far. Update soon! ^^

Heyy, comment swap.
Soo, I decided to read the newest chapter for something different. I have no idea what's happened in the story, I don't know who these people are and whatever. So I guess I can only comment on your writing skills, spelling, gramar and/or typos. The layout it really simple so that's great. There was some confusion in the first line, 'there' should be 'their' I had to read over that bit a couple of times to realise it didn't sound right. May wanna fix that up cos plenty of people will bitch about that and it's annoying when they do. Other than that spelling is fine. I like your style of writing and I'm gonna have to read from the beginning when I subscribe or I won't know what everyones on about. =)

Hi. I love this story :) Please update :).There are not much stories like this on mibba..

Although the different POV's for each chapter were slightly confusing at first, that style grew on my by the time I finished reading.

I think the characters are developed nicely and their stories are coming together in an even way. I love the plot so far. Each character seems true to their part of the story.

I can't wait to see what the two of you come up with next.

Agreeing characters should be listed in the character page.
I commend you on the effort you put into your layout, the colors match nicely.
Your characters are developed very quickly, and I feel that you should of introduced them and been more descriptive from the jump.
Otherwise well written, good effort.

I am sorry to say that I have to agree with many of the points in the comment below mine! :( The fact that the character profiles are in the summary is a little off putting. If I were you, I'd try to make use of the character page! :)

I'm not too keen on the way that you write the narrator's part as it makes her sound quite self absorbed and obnoxious which doesn't make for a pleasant read, unfortunately!

The content is quite disjointed and bitty, though I think this story could be really good if you had someone to check for grammatical and spelling errors. Xx

Um, to start off, you shouldn't have character profiles in the summary. That's what the character page is for. And in the title, "outrun" is one word, not two.

Moving on to the actual content of the story, the flow of the first chapter is really choppy and disjointed, and honestly, though this is just personal preference, I found the narrator to be a bit rude and obnoxious, and therefore, I didn't find her relatable at all. There were also quite a few grammatical errors in this chapter, particularly in the dialogue.

Um, to start off, you shouldn't have character profiles in the summary. That's what the character page is for. And in the title, "outrun" is one word, not two.

Moving on to the actual content of the story, the flow of the first chapter is really choppy and disjointed, and honestly, though this is just personal preference, I found the narrator to be a bit rude and obnoxious, and therefore, I didn't find her relatable at all. There were also quite a few grammatical errors in this chapter, particularly in the dialogue.