Sweet Lies, Violent Whispers - Comments

Agh! I’d forgotten all about this story until now, I just caught up to the end. Super pissed at Nira’s mother for selling her out like that, and Draco for going along with it! I can’t wait to see what the sequel has in store for them. My one suggestion would be changing the layout, for some reason this one is really hurting my eyes, I think it might be the black on white.

-Comment Swap-

I think this layout could be better. I like the color scheme present in the background (perfect since it’s a Dracofic), but it really clashes with the banner. If you’re really attached to the banner, I recommend putting it in grayscale, or adding a green tint. The pink just looks a little gaudy and out of place. I also recommend changing the background from a scroll. It doesn’t repeat seamlessly and it just looks a little odd. I’d be more than happy to help with the layout if you need!

You also have some spelling and grammar issues. Your chapters just need a good read-through before posting.

This is a good start. It’s been a while since I saw any of the movies and an even longer time since I read the books, but you seem like you caught all the characters’ specific mannerisms that I can remember off the top of my head pretty well, Draco’s sneering in particular. I’m glad you pointed out early on that he’s always sneering, because that was going to be an awkward reoccurrence if you didn’t. The only critique I have for the story/plot itself is that some of your characters seem a little too nice. There’s not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn’t in Slytherin, remember? :) Include some character flaws in your sweet characters and you’ll be golden.

Nice job.

Oh and I ink the story should be told in Nira's point of view something big just happened. You can't just changed point of views like that. I am hanging by a thread here!!!

She's a death eater now??????? AWWWW!!! Why didn't Draco protect her??

~From comment swap.

Well, I love Harry Potter, so getting an HP fanfic was nice. It's an interesting story, and it's nice to see some of the lesser know Slytherins being included in story (Hai, Blaise), and the plot is interesting. Writing-wise, my suggestions are to slow down a little bit. Examine your characters' feelings instead of just leaping from action to action. You also tend to be a bit repetitive. I must have read the word cabbage a dozen times, so some more pronouns could make things sound more smoothe.

As I was saying I dont normally read Malfoy stories but finding this it surely did catch my interest. I really do like Nira's character and personality. Great title, and the layoutis amazing, easy to read on Kindle, which is an absolute bonus. I hope you continue because all in all it is a wonderful story. ^.^ Also as i was saying it is quite catching and it did hook me.I truly hope you update soon. :)

I dont normally read Draco stories. I ussually read Snape ones but this is amazing. please do continue it. It is quite different and I was honestly hooked. please hurry and continue ASAP

Here from the comment swap. Kudos for the banner, I really do like it (and thanks for my banner as well C: ). Anyway, on to the actual story. Some of the sentences are a little choppy, and there were a few grammatical errors, but you seem to have ironed this out as the story went on. Now, this is just a personal thing for me, but I feel like the relationship between Nira and Draco is so... fast. One chapter she hates him, then a few chapters later, without much rhyme or reason, they're together and she loves him? Bah, probably just a personal thing for me. Otherwise, this story is excellently written. I can't wait to see where this goes :D

there*

there*

ohkay. here from comment swap.

Okay, well, your story is really well written, but there were a few grammatical errors and commas where their should have been periods. There were a few choppy sentences in the beginning chapters.

HOWEVER. I like how you developed the characters and I really enjoy where you are going with this!
Keep up the good work :3

Oh my god, Im glad Draco and Nina are back together! :)

(Comment swap!)
First of all, I love Harry Potter. I looove how you made a new character and one that is Draco's love interest! It's so unique! I saw no spelling or grammar errors. The title is sexy and very intriguing. This was lovely. Fantastic job!

I am not one for Harry Potter fanfics, but I enjoyed this one. I got up to Ch. 15, which was very sexy by the way.

I think the story is very well-written, and it flows. I also like how you portrayed your characters, I often find that people don't give their characters any substance. It gets really old pretty fast. You had good spelling and grammar, and I liked your layout. I hope you continue, nicely done! Good luck!

This story is really well written. I don't often read Harry Potter fan fictions, but I'm glad Comment Swap sent my here. Sorry it took so long for me to comment, I've been busy.
any ways
I was surprised at how well you write for this being your second story, usually people who've only had a few stories aren't very good. I'm a perfect example of this, my old stories are terrrrrible haha.
I'm patiently awaiting an update. Can't wait to see what's next c:

OMG. Last chapter was epic :)! Great job keeping the suspense going ! Cant wait to read more :]

Draco was never really one of my favorite characters...but after chapter 15, he's definitely one of the sexiest! :3

You shoulddeffdnetly continue! !!!

I just have one thing to say to describe your story... WOW! Verra excellent, I really liked and I do love Draco, he is my favorite character in Harry Potter, the way you project him, it really impress me. I really liked your story, I will be expecting for more :>

Comment swap keeps sending me back, so I read a few more chapters. I really like the plot line you have going, plus the layout looks pretty awesome and Slytherin-y, which is perfect for this story.