@ Angel Devastation I appreciate you reading this. (I was just taking a stroll through the ghosts of stories past and saw your comment. It still makes me smile every time I read someone's love of my stories and characters). Anyhow. There is a sequel, if you hadn't already read it. thanks again for your support.
Firstly, thank you for entering. For your first band fiction this is quite good! There are a few grammatical errors and I noticed a few spelling mistake,s but it was still readable, so no worries. Even from the fist line you write about Kalor I knew I was going to end up hating him. And before he had even broken her paw I hated him! After that, I think it had turned to despising him haha! I really loved the plot behind this, it;s original but yet it's not so totally far fetched that it's nearing hard to read. It flows well and your paragraphs are done well, I can tell that you knew exactly when you wanted each little think to happen. I think that you're in with a strong chance of winning. Well done!
This was a really good story. I liked it a lot and I can't believe this is your first bandfic. I would enjoy reading the sequel if you decide to write it!
Comment Swap! First comment too. =) This is really great for your first bandfic (?) I've never heard that before. Anyway, the paragraphs are bunched up and some people are a bit iffy about it (drives me nuts thats they do) I read a little bit and I quite enjoyed it. I think your doing a great job.
I appreciate you reading this. (I was just taking a stroll through the ghosts of stories past and saw your comment. It still makes me smile every time I read someone's love of my stories and characters). Anyhow. There is a sequel, if you hadn't already read it. thanks again for your support.