February 5th, 2014 at 05:57am
Hi Everyone. I am sorry but my laptop broke a while ago and I haven't been able to fix it till now, its been playing up really badly and last week it just died and I hope you can all be patient with me while I sort a few things out with it and then I'll be trying to sort this story out ASAP.
I am also looking to start another series for the DC universe world... I have become a massive fan of the series ARROW with Stephen Amell and I have got series 1 on DVD so I will be adding my own character ot the series :-)
Well, firstly, your five year old chapter sounded about right to me. That's what my little brother sounded like at that age. I don't know why it would sound odd. I did get a little distracted by the use of shall, but I think that's probably an Americanism. I actually have the opposite issue that a lot of people have; I think that there's too much description that's all sort of chunked together. You've got a really interesting story here, and it's a pity to be transported out of it by these unwieldy chunks of disposition.