I really liked this one. One of the more realistic, and it made me smile and giggle. I like V's and Zak's chemistry, and would love to read a sequel or prequel. There were few errors on tenses (past/present) but nothing a proof-reading wouldn't fix, and I had enough common sense to figure it out for myself. :)
Oh honey, you have some work to do with this story. No offense. Grammar is much needed in this. It's a bit lacking. Which makes the story hard to follow, ya know? So brush off you English grammar textbooks and use it in your writing.
Now, with the bad news out of the way, I like the story line of this so far. I like how he's making it obvious that he wants to be in a relationship with her, and he doesn't quite get it. I like that. It's different. Usually it's the guy who is completely clueless about a girl wanting to be with them. It's new. It's fresh.
So, for future reference, you can usually find one great grammar tip on here. Or if you read other stories you can pick up on one of the words they use to describe things. But other than that. This was nice to read :)