Hey there! I really enjoyed reading the first chapter of your story. It was quite stupid what the guy did though haha. I hope he learned his lesson. I can't wait to see where you go with this. The only criticism I have is for you to break up your paragraphs. Right now, everything is clumped together into one giant paragraph. Also, consider making a layout; it'll make your story more appealing. Good luck with writing!
January 4th, 2013 at 04:33am