I Wanna Be Sedated - Comments

@ earthtoamy
as a writer myself i understand that it can be difficult so i try to be as constructive as i can but some people can take it the wrong way so i'm glad you understand :)

December 4th, 2013 at 06:54am

zemusez (100)

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Age:: 24
Location:: Australia

@ FanGirlGoneWild
Your comment is completely justified, don't fret! We definitely could've done more with it, and a better job in general - it was very jumpy and there wasn't very much of a back story or explaination to anything, you're right. We didn't kind of think of that back then I guess. I jumped in when Kadi was having a bit of a writers block and we just kind of did whatever, without even really talking about anything we did. We definitely could have executed the story better, in presentation and in plot - but we weren'treally thinking about that when we wrote it. We just wrote whatever we felt would go I guess. But thank you for your criticism!
I'm not currently writing anything - I've not given up, I just don't have it in me to wrote anything. If and when I do write something, I'll take all of this into consoderation. So thank you very much for taking the time to write this! Much appreciated

December 4th, 2013 at 06:41am

FanGirlGoneWild (100)

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Age:: 29
Location:: Australia

also sorry about the blank messages, my computer when a little stupid

December 4th, 2013 at 02:31am

FanGirlGoneWild (100)

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Gender:: ♀
Age:: 29
Location:: Australia

i really liked this story but the spelling, grammar and punctuation in this story got bad at some points where you were adding or missing words in sentences or using the wrong word but that could be fixed if you proof read or had some one proof read for you, i also found that parts were a bit unrealistic at times in relation to the institution. there is no way a metal hospital would let a fire bug have a lighter for any patience have access to anything they could harm themselves or anyone else with and there should have been more nurses or doctors around during commotions and things like that just to make it a bit more realistic. i don't mean to sound rude or anything like that, it's just somethings to maybe keep in mind for future stories or even do some research on things like this if you aren't sure about how they work just to make the story line more plausible. Also the relationships seem a bit rushed and some didn't even have a back story or any mention of how they came to be especially with Austin and Alan who no one even knew were gay, i just think that some parts need to be though through a bit better. I hope i wasn't to harsh because for the most part this was a good story.

December 4th, 2013 at 02:29am