If I Wrote You a Love Song - Comments

  • mrsmshadz

    mrsmshadz (100)

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    That would be fucken cool!!
    November 20th, 2013 at 12:06am
  • Anchor and Hope.

    Anchor and Hope. (200)

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    @ mrsmshadz

    Ha. Well thank you! It's always a possibility! Wink
    Maybe after I finish the True Love sequel Cute
    November 19th, 2013 at 09:32pm
  • mrsmshadz

    mrsmshadz (100)

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    You should make a whole story on it!!
    November 19th, 2013 at 05:15pm
  • Anchor and Hope.

    Anchor and Hope. (200)

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    @ mrsmshadz

    Thank you so much! Cute
    I'm do glad you liked it!
    November 19th, 2013 at 03:59pm
  • mrsmshadz

    mrsmshadz (100)

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    What a beautiful story!!! I cried!
    November 19th, 2013 at 03:34pm
  • Anchor and Hope.

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    @ DreamingCorpse

    Aw! Well thank you so much!
    I'm glad you liked it (:
    November 2nd, 2013 at 10:00am
  • DreamingCorpse

    DreamingCorpse (100)

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    I cried like a baby.
    This story is absolutely amazing!
    November 2nd, 2013 at 07:28am
  • DreamingCorpse

    DreamingCorpse (100)

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    I cried like a baby.
    This story is absolutely amazing!
    November 2nd, 2013 at 07:28am
  • Anchor and Hope.

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    @ robs;

    Aw tehe Thank you so much!
    You're too sweet!
    September 4th, 2013 at 10:14pm
  • robyn alicia

    robyn alicia (100)

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    I really enjoyed reading this, I fell in love with it and it's kind of hit home for me too. You're a great writer :)
    September 4th, 2013 at 01:50pm
  • Elephant PJs

    Elephant PJs (365)

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    Hi there! I'm the new judge for the To Be Loved Contest and here's me, judging your piece Cute

    Your layout is simple and easy on the eyes, which is perfect in my book.

    I absolutely love the plot of this story. The way you execute the memories and seamlessly fold them into the storyline is masterful.

    How you introduce Parker's involvement in the armed forces is really clever through the dog tags. It doesn't force that character development by straight out saying "SHE'S A FIGHTER PILOT" which too many stories do with their characters' occupations and the like.

    It's so easy to see Zacky's love for Parker too, right in that first section before we've even met her. Though I suppose his nerves make more sense at the end of the piece. Again, very well planned.

    The way they met was my favourite part of this story. There was all this suspense and then bam, super hot war hero.

    I do think you could edit the part explaining her family though - it's a little wordy and awkward once the Lieutenant starts talking about her father. And by that I mean it doesn't flow like normal conversation.

    You also need to proof-read. There are a bunch of full-stops instead of commas at the end of dialogue, and certain words that should be capitalized aren't, like

    "uh…" Matt mumbled. That U needs to be a capital.

    "Its" and "it's" are also confused a few times throughout, so keep an eye out for those too if you edit.

    Their reunion was so sweet and I felt exactly what Zacky was feeling. It's a really beautiful, lovely scene.

    Singing to her while she was in a coma? And that song? It just worked magically. Very, very moving.

    The ending was perfect. Just perfect.

    This is such a wonderful story! I can tell a lot of thought went into it, and the emotions are all there. Well done and good luck in the contest!
    June 23rd, 2013 at 01:13pm
  • AJ9

    AJ9 (100)

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    Good luck! I'm sure you'll win this because that was awesome. It was really original having the woman in the military while the man is anxiously waiting for her return. Also, the flashbacks were really emotional as well as sprinkled with comedy and there was lots of drama thrown in. It had everything really. I loved it. Cool
    January 26th, 2013 at 03:17pm
  • gothique4

    gothique4 (100)

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    I absolutely love this. You've done a fantastic job and good luck in the contest :-)
    January 26th, 2013 at 12:09am