Wicked Games & Wonder Years - Comments

  • River Song

    River Song (100)

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    I think this story has a lot of potential, although it's something I wouldn't normally read were it not for comment swap! Sometimes I felt like your sentences were a bit of a run on, but that's the only really grammatical thing I found wrong. Your characters seem really well developed, and I love how their personalities shine through with each chapter written. Keep up the good work!
    July 3rd, 2014 at 08:13pm
  • MissCindyrella

    MissCindyrella (100)

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    Well all in all it isn't too bad, but the whole concept seems kind of confusing. It sort of seems like you jump around with the characters personalities more so than you intended to do. I guess as far as first chapters go it was rather uneventful. I was really looking for something to relate to or pull me in but unfortunately I wasn't. Though that isn't to say I won't read other chapters. As the comment below me states, you aren't a bad writer, this first bit just felt a little rushed. I hope in the following chapters it gets more gripping. Thank you for the story. I hope you enjoy mine. Comment swap and all. ha
    April 29th, 2014 at 10:09pm
  • Leanna Michelle

    Leanna Michelle (100)

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    I am actually doing the comment swap. I can't write much because I only ready the first chapter. The story isn't particularly my taste of writing, but it was a good piece of work. I like how Cher describes Grace, and the emotions Cher has. After you gave the page break though, I started to lose interest and eventually quit reading. I want you to know, I'm not trying to be rude or bully your work. I'm not saying you aren't a good writer, because you really are! Now not dealing with the story, I love the layout! Though I would suggest change the chapter font because it took me a minute to see. Keep on writing! And I apologize for not reading much. :/
    January 11th, 2014 at 09:43pm
  • animestars

    animestars (100)

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    Yes, I loved it & I'm glad it finally happened! Please update again soon!!
    September 18th, 2013 at 07:29am
  • animestars

    animestars (100)

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    Please update soon!
    August 31st, 2013 at 01:18pm
  • wither

    wither (100)

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    This is a lovely story! The entire thing is well written.
    There are a few things I enjoy about it in particular too!

    I like how (in my opinion at least,) the title matches very well with the tone of the story. It's always very important to choose the right title for a story and I think you did just that!

    Another thing I like about this story is how your summary drew me in really well, another important thing when writing a story, because it's what prompts a reader to read on!

    I adore the way you describe her outfit in chapter 2 (I LOOOVE LITAS!) Overall this is an awesome story and I encourage you to keep on writing!
    August 12th, 2013 at 05:57am
  • PTVlover_cx

    PTVlover_cx (100)

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    i love this ^_^ please update soon ☺
    August 8th, 2013 at 05:51am
  • animestars

    animestars (100)

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    Ooooo, where could she be going with Vince? Haha, loved it, please update again soon!
    April 16th, 2013 at 06:41pm
  • loveupsidedown

    loveupsidedown (100)

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    Can't wait to find out what Vince wants to show her!
    April 16th, 2013 at 06:12am
  • animestars

    animestars (100)

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    The story is really good so far, please update again soon!
    April 14th, 2013 at 11:52am
  • So_Damn_Creepy

    So_Damn_Creepy (100)

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    I love this c:
    April 8th, 2013 at 11:20pm