Corruption - Comments

Love the way you give detail and the way you explain your surroundings!

@ River Song
I appreciate the criticism, but if you read through all three books (once I've finished them lol) you'll see why I put vulgarity in the beginning. I'd really like you to read all them though(: and keep me posted on what you think, I always need to grow as a writer!

I've been looking through elemental stories for inspiration to finish my own, and I really like this. The storyline is really well planned, and I only have one complaint (which is saying something, because I can always find something to complain about)-- the language. Honestly, if you ask me, the story could have gone without the excessive vulgarity. You can make a point without throwing in curse words every paragraph. I get that your Aradia is supposed to be temperamental and hot-headed, but I feel like descriptions would be better than throwing about profanities. It would give the characters more depth and also some more class.

So I'm not really into stories about magic and witches, stuff like that. So I'm gonna talk about your writing if that's okay. It's been a while since I've been on here. And I know I read this before lol.

But, your writing is actually really good. And as I continue reading, I can tell that it's only progressed, which is good! It's awesome when you see growth in writing. Anyway, I hope to read some of your other stories. Keep it up!

I can't wait to see what you do with these characters! Loved it!

This is a fantastic story. Your writing style is drawing; I can’t stop reading! I like the idea of the story as well. I honestly thought Dante and her were gonna be paired, but I like Tristen a lot. :P Great job and keep up the great work!

Loove this!

I never read these kinds of stories, like magic and witches and all that stuff. But you seem like a good writer. I only read the first chapter, and there's a lot of dialogue, however you also include detail in what is happening around the characters. You introduce some characters in the beginning, so you're off to a great start. You did a good job with the summary because right off the bat I know what I can expect, but at the same time you don't give it all away. Good job, keep up the good work.