July 2nd, 2017 at 05:09am
The first chapter was so very sweet and endearing. I love the thought of pressing flowers and have done it once, myself. They are so neat to look at. c: Then there's the second chapter... can I just? It killed me. The thought of having a child is so very scary but this was so very funny. x'D I couldn't help but feel sorry for Oliver, men can be so confused by women during birth. Especially when one second she's telling them to take a hike, and then depressed when he actually goes to walk out? MIXED SIGNALS. x'D And then when the Taylor guy fainted, poor guy, lol.
All in all, I thought this was very well done. I didn't spot any mistakes or anything that I would change about it. I really liked how you included Oliver's thought process in italics. He just seemed so very frazzled.
I think this is my first Hayliver (is that what it's called?) I've ever read, and it was very interesting. :3
This was so cute?? Like wow, just take my heart and my teeth are rotting. Everything about this is so pure and sweet. I love how the entire thing kind of revolved around pressing flowers because I used to do that when I was younger. I actually did it so much that I still find them in some of my old books around the house. It’s such a wholesome thing to have a cute romance story intertwined with. I absolutely loved it.
I don’t know much about Oliver or Hayley (though I’ve been very aware of the Hayliver ship around Mibba for years and this isn’t actually my first Hayliver fic technically, I just know nothing about them as celebrities), so I really appreciated how you introduced them to me as if they were original characters. Without going into some long backstory or explaining things, I got a good grasp on who Oliver and Hayley were in their interactions and narratives. I mean… come on. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop it though, she was moody today. It doesn’t get any cuter than that because he knew but he’s just so. damn. in love. UGH. But the whole point of this paragraph was that this could easily be read as an original fiction because of how you wrote them, oops.
Your detail in chapter one is amazing, as well. It wasn’t over the top or drawn out, and it painted the picture you wanted the readers to have with the garden and the cottage. Your writing style is very soft and fluid in this piece, which complements the overall tone you’ve created. It’s simple and straightforward with a certain gentleness to it. I didn’t have to wonder or fill out any of the details on my own. Though, I will admit that I specified “detail in chapter one” because the entirety of chapter two just made me laugh so much. OLIVER WAS JUST SO MESSED UP AND CONFUSED.
So okay, basically. I loved this a lot. The ending of chapter one was just too precious for this world. Fantastic job!