Heart-Shaped Bruises - Comments

  • lonely girl.

    lonely girl. (250)

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    This was very well written, though I don't understand why Ryan was abusive. He was incredibly sweet in the flashback, but there was no real explanation.
    I picked up on a few spelling errors (mostly with capitalisation after a quotation - remember that if you end a quotation with a comma no capitalisation is needed, but anything else you must capitalise the first word) but otherwise it looked really good.
    I love how Max was trying to steer Shelby in the right direction and she actually took his advice of getting out of the relationship, albeit in a rather extreme way. You've made your characters relatable and although personally I wasn't able to connect, I can see how people can. Well done.
    March 20th, 2014 at 10:45pm
  • Kasi FM

    Kasi FM (105)

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    @taylormotionless
    Thank you!
    March 14th, 2014 at 03:15am
  • taylormotionless

    taylormotionless (100)

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    that was intense oh my god very well written
    March 14th, 2014 at 03:13am
  • ptvjaime

    ptvjaime (1600)

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    YES MAXWELL YOU TELL HER YOU BLOODY SMART BOY YOU. AGH BUT SHE DOESN'T GET IT BECAUSE SHE'S GOT VICTIM MENTALITY. This is all very sad and I feel very bad for her :(
    March 13th, 2014 at 03:31am
  • ptvjaime

    ptvjaime (1600)

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    NO RYAN YOU FUCK YOU DON'T HIT YOUR LADY WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL? DAMN IT. >.< I cannot wait to see the rest of this. I cannot wait to find out why he turned into such an assbutt
    March 12th, 2014 at 10:57pm
  • CountSynula

    CountSynula (100)

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    I enjoyed what you have so far. You included some action as well as a small bit of background story. :) It made me want to read more. Very Happy
    March 12th, 2014 at 10:55pm