Every Breath You Take - Comments

@ Shatterheart
Thank you for your comment, I'm glad you liked it :)

When I first saw the iconic song lyrics by The Police, it immediately started playing in my head. So I ended up reading this piece with a mental background song in my head.
So this is very deep emotionally, and I love this sort of open letter between a father that has passed on and a daughter that was left behind. Typically I dislike it when there are chunks of song lyrics sandwiched in throughout the whole piece, but like I said, I was reading it with this song playing in my head so I found that I didn't mind it.

I think you got the emotions down very well; it is heartbreaking to read a letter where a father is writing to his little girl all the things he should've had a life time to convey to his daughter. Doubly tragic that there is a girl who grew up without her father who was clearly very loving.
Absolutely well done in portraying two sides of this story!

If I had anything constructive to say... part of me wishes that there was more of a clear switch between the father's letter and the girl. It took me moment to adjust because I was expecting the father to continue "speaking" as there were no sign-off. But this may just be a preference thing.

BONUS: no spelling or grammar errors.

Overall, this is a well written and emotional piece! Thank you for sharing!

@ Michael Westen
Thank you :)

Incorporating lyrics into stories usually bothers me but the way you did it was fantastic. The song really compliments the passages too, so good job on that! I especially love how you flipped the POV, not only did it seem effortless but I wasn't even suspecting it.

The emotions behind this are palpable. Part of me feels like I just read something that was meant to be private.

The part about what he was supposed to be around to do was hard to read - it's very relatable, as anyone who has lost someone will know.

The end really pulls everything together.

@ spooky scary aliens.
Thank you!

This was such a powerful read. Whew, I could feel every word you wrote and the pain behind the words. The lyrics work so well with the rest of the story and I honestly think that it was all wrapped together so well.

I think the part that hit me the hardest was the talk about her father walking her down the aisle among other things. It was so powerful. Words can't describe how much I absolutely adored this. Well done!

@ Ghoul Scouts
Thank you

This was incredible! I loved how you posted lyrics and then a little bit of your own writing to go with the song. This was very sweet and emotional.