Said Is Dead

Emptiness, silence, hope; the apartment was stone cold and covered in a layer of dust. All the time away had forced Chase's apartment to transform into a fossil. She walked lazily around her furniture, letting her fingers graze through the dust.

When bailed out of jail her mother hadn't been angry, she didn't scream or yell, she simply smiled, hugged Chase and handed her a change of clothes. It was moments like these that Chase was reminded that her mother was human. That there was a soul deep down inside.

Chase moved towards her bedroom, opening the door softly. Her bed was still neatly put together, and the few articles of clothing she had left behind lay forgotten on her dresser. Chase set her suitcases down and walked to her bed, laying down she starred at the ceiling. Her mind wandered to all of her adventures, to the television show. MTV were ready to sue for breach of contract, but her father fought them, saying only one episode had been aired, and they could easily make the show disappear.

The white stucco of the ceiling created shapes in Chases mind as she thought about Gerard, Frank, and the rest of the boys. She really thought she could find an out there, maybe finally patch up all her broken insides. But Chase finally came to terms with the fact that she was broken, and no amount of time with overly happy people were going to fix her. She needed to fix herself, that's why Chase signed up for therapy. It was another step in her self-help journey.

Rolling over, Chase grabbed for her laptop case. She opened up her web page and smiled at her forgotten blog. Comments ranged from "Where are you?" to "Sellout!" but Chase could only smile. She was going back to her source, the one thing that started this whole mess, and she started to write her last and final post on Said Is Dead.

"Starting a blog started off as a spur of the moment idea that would give me motivation to fix my life. Through this blog I obtained a job, I was raped, I met some of the greatest men in my life, I earned a television series, and I went to jail. It also brought me back to my mother.

Starting off I constantly complained my parents were the worst things to ever exist. I was dead wrong, how do I know this you ask? When a mother is willing to wake up in the middle of the night and answer her daughter's phone call from jail, and is willing to fly to Los Angeles, bail her out, bring her clothes and fly her home, all without a shout of anger, you have a mother. My mother did all of this for me. She held my hand as I cried, realizing my life was a mess, (messier then it previously was that is) she consoled me when I was lost, and paid for my absurd amount of Ben and Jerry's consumption.

I've moved back to New York, I've decided to cancel my television slot, and I've left the boys of My Chemical Romance to fix the issues that I caused them. I've also enrolled myself in a therapy program, it's time to fix all those underlying issues I have going on.

And lastly, this will be my final post on Said Is Dead, I need to be me for awhile, I need to find who I am, what I want to be, I need to go back to school, start over, build who I want to be.

So with that, I have to say my final goodbyes.

Chase Daniels found a stain on her couch.

Chase Daniels is mighty hungry.

Chase Daniels is very sad.

Chase Daniels will miss speaking like this.

Chase Daniels is crying.

Chase Daniels will miss you all.

Chase Daniels is saying goodbye"