Perfection Doesn't Exist

I pulled up along the curb in front of Alex’s because the driveway was full and took a deep breath. Nikki noticed my nervousness and said, “Are you okay?”

I nodded, taking another deep breath and letting it out. I flipped down my visor to look in the mirror. I smiled and remembered why I was so excited to be here in the first place. I looked good for once. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s go.”

I grabbed the champagne from the back seat, we climbed out and I locked my car doors. We hurried up to the front door, trying to shield our faces from the biting wind that was whipping around us. I didn’t even bother to knock. Nikki just opened the door and we walked in. Kara greeted us. “Girls!” she exclaimed, giving us each a hug and kiss on the cheek. She took our coats and other winterwear.

I smiled and said, “Hi Kara,” while Nikki went off in search of Zack. I handed her the bottles of Champagne and said, “Here, these are for later. I figured the guys would polish off a bottle in no time.”

Kara laughed. “You’d be right.”

I looked around at all the people I knew and inspected the ones I didn’t. My eyes involuntarily skimmed over Matt who was talking to some blonde chick. I rolled my eyes on the inside, trying to look away so no one would notice where my gaze was. Kara picked up on it. She smiled a sympathetic smile and leaned closer to my ear. “Ri told me about your… indifference towards Matt.”

I shrugged. “I don’t really know how I feel, thanks to his accusation the other day.”

Kara nodded. “Well have fun tonight; you look amazing.”

I beamed at her comment. “Thank you; you do too sweetie. Go have fun with your boo. I’m fine.”

Kara smiled eagerly and left to find Rian. I chuckled and walked over to where the drinks were. I got myself a bottle of water, remembering my deal with Nikki. She told me I couldn’t drink until I had at least spoken one word to Matt. Since that wasn’t going to be happening for awhile, I figured I might as well be the DD for the night. Sighing, I scanned the room. Everyone looked pretty dressed up. All the girls had on dresses and the guys were wearing jeans and dress shirts. As I was scanning the crowd being a semi-creeper, I felt hands go over my eyes and then everything was black.

“Guess who,” a voice chuckled, resembling Alex.

I laughed and turned around to face him. He was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a blue flannel shirt. His hair was messy, but still looked damn good. “You clean up well, Gaskarth.”

He smiled. “I know, I know, but so do you. Damn girl, you’re hot tonight.”

I frowned and pretended to look insulted. “Only tonight?”

Alex laughed and slung his arm over my shoulder pulled my closer. “Nah, you look sexy every night.”

I rolled my eyes. I could smell vague traces of alcohol on his breath. “You drunk yet, Gaskarth?”

He smirked. “Not yet, but I’m getting there. Speaking of being drunk, why aren’t you?”

I shrugged. “Because of a deal I made with Nikki.”

Alex nodded. “Whatever floats your boat. The ball drops in two hours, so you better come and find me so I can give you your New Year’s kiss okay?”

I laughed. “You’re going to be gone in two hours, Alex. But I’ll try.”

He smirked, nodded, and walked away. I turned to face the crowd again and noticed Nikki dancing. She caught my glance, brightened up, and gestured for me to come over and join. I laughed and did as I was told. We danced to some fast moving songs for a little while, but then a slow one came on and Nikki danced with Zack. I backed off and moved into the kitchen where a rousing game of Beer Pong was being played. “Jesse!” Jack exclaimed. “Join my team, please! I thought I could take Alex and Matt on my own, but I can’t.” Jack pouted, making it impossible to say no.

I missed the “and Matt” part, but joined him anyways. I glared at Matt from across the table as Alex set up a new “board” as they were calling it, refilling the cups to start fresh. Matt ignored me, and it was quite disappointing. I wanted him to notice my outfit before the end of the night, but if he got trashed, that wasn’t going to happen. I sighed and looked away.
I helped Jack to victory without having to drink a single cup of beer. I patted Jack’s shoulder when he thanked me for not letting the other two kick our asses, and then walked away. Alex followed me. “Jess!” he said, getting my attention.

“What's up, Gaskarth?” I asked playfully.

He shrugged. “Talk to Matt yet?”

I saddened instantly, but tried to cover it up. “No,” I said glumly, giving in.
Alex smiled a sympathetic smile. “Promise me that by the end of the night, you’ll have talked to him okay?”

I shrugged, but at Alex’s goofy grin I smiled and nodded. He kissed my cheek and walked off.

The music around me had picked up, as did the dancing. I could smell the alcohol in the air and it made me grin. Tomorrow was going to be hell for these people. I shook the thought away as I realized how evil that sounded. Rolling my eyes at myself, I tried to think of someone to talk to that would aggravate Matt. No one, but Alex, came to mind. I shrugged and went off in search of him again.

I finally found him doing a beer bong race with one of his friends from high school. I smiled as he won the race, stood with his arms in the air and cheered. I laughed and he noticed me. Then he looked off in the distance; it was like he was looking through me. Turns out he wasn’t looking through me, but over my shoulder. He smirked and walked over to me. “Want to dance?” he asked flirtatiously.

I laughed and nodded. We walked over to the make shift dance floor as the fast song stopped abruptly and was changed to something slower. I wrapped my arms around Alex’s neck and he snaked his arms around my waist, pulling me close. I laid my head on his chest as we swayed lightly back and forth.

“So,” he said, interrupting my thoughts, “what’s the plan, Sam?”

I laughed lightly. “Plan for what?”

I felt his shoulders go up slightly and then back down. “I don’t know, the plan to snag Matt, or the plan to get Matt to notice something’s wrong. I don’t know, just… the plan.”

I rolled my eyes and pulled my head back so I could look Alex in the eye. “There is no plan, Alex. I just… need to talk to Matt sometime, and I’m putting it off for as long as possible.”
Alex nodded. “Do you know why I pulled you out here so suddenly?”

I shrugged; I didn’t really care to know the answer to this one, but he told me anyways. “Matt was watching you quite closely. I saw him and decided to try and make him even more jealous so maybe he’d do something about it. In fact…” Alex trailed off and then suddenly leaned down and brushed his lips against the corner of my mouth. He pulled back and smirked. “He’s still watching, and that little stunt we just pulled probably irritated him enough to get his ass over here, or at least I’m hoping it did.”

I laughed and as the music’s pace quickened, I pulled away from Alex. “Hopefully that little stunt didn’t just get you killed,” I smirked and Alex shrugged.

“It was worth it,” he told me, winking and giving my arm a squeeze before he walked away.
I took a quick look at the clock. It read 11:38. I had twenty two minutes left to confront Matt and figure out what his problem was. I turned around, facing where Matt had been previously. He was no longer there; instead, he was standing right in front of me with a hint of anger in his eyes. “Can I talk to you?” he asked me coldly. I was almost shocked by his tone, but shrugged it off.

“Fine,” I said shortly, glancing around the room. I caught Nikki’s eyes and she gave me thumbs up when she noticed Matt. I nodded discreetly and grabbed Matt’s arm so we could go outside and talk, even though it was freezing. I grabbed my coat off of the coat rack by the door and slipped it on while quickly stepping outside.

When I walked over to the railing on Alex and Rian’s porch, I took a deep breath, turned so my hip was leaning against it and said, “Talk.”

Matt walked over to me and said, “What are you doing?”

I was a little shocked by his first question. What did he mean, what was I doing? “What do you mean?”

He gestured vaguely back to the door and said, “With Alex, what's going on there?”

I narrowed my eyes. “That’s not any of your business, Matt. We’ve already discussed this.”

“Do you even know the real Alex? He’s playing you so hard and you don’t even realize it!” Matt let out, anger rising in his voice.

“Stop it, Matt,” I told him firmly. “You don’t know what's really going on.”

Matt laughed an evil laugh. “Enlighten me then, Jess.”

I raked my hands through my hair and growled. “I can’t tell you!” I told him, frustrated.

Matt wasn’t amused. “This was pointless,” he said, turning on his heel to go back inside.

“Wait,” I said quietly. In some ways, I was hoping he wouldn’t hear me, but in others I needed him to hear me, to turn around and wait. He stopped and turned to look at me. I looked down at my black peep-toe pumps and said quietly, “There is absolutely nothing going on between Alex and I.”

Matt shook his head. “You’re lying; I see the way you laugh when he’s around and he kissed you, Jess. What’s really going on?”

I sighed and looked up. Alex thought you and I were good together, but he knew you’d never act on it for some reason God only knows. So, he figured if he made you jealous, you’d do something. So far, all he’s done was made you mad and now you hate me. I thought to myself. To Matt, I said, “I feel like you hate me right now. But I’m telling you the truth, Matt.”

Matt sighed. “I don’t hate you, Jess."

“Then why have you been ignoring me like the plague?” I asked him, exasperated.
Matt shrugged and looked out into the front yard.

Before he could say anything else, the door flew open. It was Nikki. “Get your skinny ass in here so we can countdown to the New Year, bitch!” she yelled at me. She was so gone.

I rolled my eyes. “Later,” I mouthed to Matt, and then walked inside. I was quickly handed a glass of champagne, thanks to Alex, and a noisemaker, thanks to Nikki, and we walked over towards the big TV. The countdown just started, and we had a minute to go. I glanced around at all my friends, who were smiling and having a good time. The countdown hit 30 seconds, and we all started counting.

When it hit 15 seconds, I looked for Alex. I promised him a New Year’s kiss. He was easy to find. I tapped his shoulder and he smiled, pulling me in for a one arm hug. We turned to the TV with his arm slung over my shoulder and counted down the last five seconds. “Five… four… three… two… one… HAPPY NEW YEAR!” was chorused throughout the room. I clinked glasses with people around me, took a sip of champagne, and then gave Alex a quick kiss on the cheek. “Happy New Year, Alex,” I said with a grin.

He grinned back. “Happy New Year, sweet thang!”

I finished off my champagne and went to set the glass in the sink. Turning back around, I leaned against the counter and folded my arms across my chest. I watched as everyone celebrated the New Year by drinking or kissing or just being happy. I sighed to myself; why couldn’t I be drinking and enjoying these moments with my friends? I shook my head and went back to the party.

I left a few hours later, letting Nikki stay because she was drunk and wanted to be with Zack. So I got out of there. I was too on edge from trying to stay away from Matt all night and it was exhausting. After saying goodbye to Kara, I slipped my coat on and left. When I got home, I changed, hanging my dress up so it wouldn’t get ruined, and slipped into bed promptly falling asleep.