Perfection Doesn't Exist

I had six days of break from the mini tour before we were heading out for Philly. I spent them, most of the time, hanging out with the guys and Nikki. If I wasn’t hanging out with all of the guys, I’d either be at home with my parents or with Alex, whenever he could beg me long enough to hang out with him. I hung out with Matt a few times too, but it was usually not one on one.

The one day we did hang out one on one was a few days after we got home from the tour. He just showed up and luckily I had showered and was decent. “Hey, you home?” he called out throughout the house. I rolled my eyes.

“Matt, just because we’ve known each other for a long time doesn’t mean you can just show up at my house whenever you want.”

Matt laughed. I had greeted him in the hallway that led in from the entryway to the living room. He ducked down and hugged me and then pulled back and said, “I sure can.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Yeah, yeah whatever. So what are you doing here?”

“I was bored and didn’t feel like hanging out with the guys. You’re my only other option,” he joked, so I hit his arm.

“Not cool!”

Matt laughed as we walked into the kitchen. “I was kidding, firecracker.”

I smiled at the nickname my uncle had given me and that of which Matt had felt he could call me, too. “Ok, what do you want to do?”

Matt shrugged. “I didn’t come with a plan; I was just bored so I headed over. You are only like five minutes from me.”

I rolled my eyes. We ended up just hanging out and talking for a long time. He asked me what was going on with Alex and I nonchalantly said nothing. Because I truly believed nothing was going on. Alex was a friend, who occasionally flirted too much. I always brushed it off, though. We talked until Nikki came home around ten. We didn’t even realize what time it was or how much time had passed. When Matt left, Nikki said to me “What’s going on with you two?”

I shrugged, not wanting to think and ruin it, and went to bed.

***

The next day I had to head out to my mom’s house for Christmas. I packed a bag, grabbed my iPod and phone, hooked Chloe on a leash and walked out to my car with Nikki following closely with my bags in hand. “When are you coming back?” she asked nonchalantly.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Two days; so if Zack plans on staying here, clean and disinfect the place before I get home.” I winked at her. Nikki and Zack had gotten together a few weeks ago and were still in the “sex” phase as I liked to call it. It completely repulsed me, but I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

Nikki smirked and said, “I plan on it,” with a wink.

I rolled my eyes and said goodbye, then climbed into my car with Chloe and left.

It took me a half hour to get to my moms house. I pulled into the driveway and climbed out, stretching and letting Chloe run around to stretch her legs. My mom opened the door as soon as I pulled in and walked out towards me. “Hi sweets,” she said, walking over to Chloe to bring her inside.

“Hi mom,” I said, grabbing my bags and shutting my car door. I walked inside quickly to warm up. She was playing with my dog when I walked in. I frowned. “Wow, gee thanks mom. Glad my dog is more important than your own flesh and blood.”

My mom smirked. “Oh be quiet.” She got up and hugged me. “How was the drive?”

I shrugged. “Same old, same old.”

My mom nodded and walked into the kitchen, so I followed her. “How’s Matt?” she asked me while fixing a cup of coffee for herself and I. My mom had become very accustomed to either Matt dropping me off at home after a long night at Rams Head, or him being at my house too much. The truth was, Matt and I were pretty good friends while still in high school so my mom got to know him pretty well.

I shrugged. “He’s good.”

My mom nodded. She took a sip of the warm liquid and smiled. “How was the actual touring?”

I shrugged again. “It was okay; I mean, the guys got under my skin every once and awhile, but all in all, it wasn’t bad.” My mom and I talked for a little while longer, but since I had got going later than expected, it was now ten o’clock and I was beat. I kissed my mom goodnight and dragged my bag up the stairs to my room. After I changed into a pair of PJ shorts and a tank top, I climbed into bed and promptly fell asleep.

The next morning, I was rudely awoken by a loud knock on my door. I groaned and mumbled a “go away”, but the knocker was persistent. Finally, my door was cracked open. I squinted my eyes in the direction of whoever it was and groaned again when I saw Matt. “Get the fuck out of my room,” I mumbled to him, having déjà vu.

Matt laughed and walked over to my bed, taking a seat on the side. “You forgot about our breakfast tradition, I’m assuming.” He was talking about this tradition we started four years ago. Every other year, he’d come over to my house early on Christmas Eve and we’d have breakfast. The years he didn’t come to my house, I’d go to his. It was a nice tradition and something only we did, but I hated how early he always came over. Of course, the year I forget and I’m supposed to be at his place.

I groaned and rolled over to face him, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I sat up and said, “Completely and totally slipped my mind; sorry Matty,” I said hoarsely, getting up to get a drink from the kitchen. I was stopped at the doorway when I remembered what I was wearing. I turned to face Matt and he was standing now, a sly smile on his face. I rolled my eyes and said, “Get out, go downstairs, and I’ll be down in a minute.”

Matt nodded and did as told.

I got a pair of sweatpants out and slipped them on over my shorts. Then, grabbing a bra, I slipped it on and grabbed a jacket and slipped on some flip flops. I walked down the steps slowly, only to find Matt sitting in the kitchen with… my mom? “Mom?” I asked, incredibly surprised. She usually didn’t get up until noon on Christmas Eve, just because she could.

My mom chuckled. “Yes honey, I do live here,” she told me to which Matt laughed.

I rolled my eyes and took a seat next to her, across from Matt. “I know, mother. But what are you doing up?”

She shrugged. “Just couldn’t sleep. I was walking down the stairs when Matt pulled in.”

I nodded, and then shrugged. “Okay well, Matt and I are going to head over to his place. I’ll be back around… noon?” My mom nodded and I said to Matt, “Come on, let’s go.” We said goodbye to my mom and then walked outside. I climbed into Matt’s already started car quickly to try and warm up.

He got in too and shook his head. “You never learn to wear more clothes in the winter, do you?”

I shrugged. “No, not really.”

He smiled and shook his head. Pulling out of the driveway, I changed the mode of the radio from FM to the CD player. I changed CD’s until I got to the one I wanted and pressed the next button until I got to track six. I smiled as the acoustic guitar started playing, and then laughed when Matt groaned at the sound of the voice coming through the speakers. “Really Jess?”

I shrugged and smiled at him. “I love this song; it’s one of the only reasons I went to as many shows of yours as I did. I’d get so mad if you didn’t play this song,” I laughed at the memory.

Matt smiled, but kept his eyes on the road. “Well, in that case…” he trailed off.

We were quiet for the rest of the drive. That is, until we pulled into his driveway and Matt groaned again. “What the hell are they doing here?” I looked at the car in the driveway.

“Who is it?” I asked curiously, not really recognizing the car in his driveway.

Matt shook his head and climbed out. I followed suite and jogged to catch up with him. He opened the door and called out through the house. “Hello?”

No answer.

“Matt, who’s—”

I was silenced and couldn’t get the rest of my sentence out. Matt walked through the house, looking around corners, until he got to the kitchen where two boys were standing, digging through the cupboards. “What the fuck are you doing here?” he almost growled at the two.

I laughed and followed. “Aw, Matty, don’t be mad. We can make them make our breakfasts as punishment.”

Matt smirked at me. “Fine,” he said with a shake of his head.

Alex smirked. “Yeah, Matty, let us stay!”

Matt growled again in Alex’s direction.

Alex shrugged and walked over to Jack who had his hand shoved in a box of cereal which he was shoving in his face in fistfuls. “We figured you might have food, so we stopped. We were on our way to get Christmas presents for our parents, though, so we’ll be leaving.” Jack nodded and hopped off the counter.

“Thanks for the supplies, Matt!” he exclaimed, running out the door.

I shook my head. That boy was crazy. Alex smirked and squeezed my arm when he walked by me to leave. “See you guys later,” he said, and left.

Matt shook his head and grumbled and then turned to me. “So, what do you want for breakfast?”

I shrugged and slipped onto a stool at the island in his kitchen. “I don’t care; chocolate chip pancakes?” I suggested, hopeful.

Matt laughed. “Sure,” he nodded and went to work getting the pancake batter ready.

While Matt was making the pancakes, I ate an apple. “So… can you believe we do this every year?”

Matt turned to me with a plate of steaming hot pancakes in his hands and frowned at the apple in my hands. I rolled my eyes and took the plate, slathering it with syrup. I took a big bite and groaned. “You moron,” I scolded him.

“What?” he asked a little alarmed.

I laughed and took another bite. “You cook pancakes like nobodies business… its bad for both of our health.”

Matt laughed and finished some more pancakes, then took a seat across from me and dug in, eating his pancakes dry. I gagged. “Why in God’s name don’t you put syrup on those?”

He shrugged and took another bite. “Because they have fucking chocolate in them, Jess. They don’t need anything sweeter on them.”

I shrugged and took another bite of my pancakes and grinned. “I for one love sweets, so its all good to me.”

Matt laughed and reached across the island. He wiped his thumb against my cheek. I didn’t say anything for a split second. My heart had leapt up into my throat at the feel of his hand so close to my mouth. For a split second, something flashed in his eyes, but then he rolled his eyes and said, “You had syrup on your cheek, Jess. How did you manage that?”

I laughed and tried to shrug off the moment of… weirdness I just felt. When we finished our breakfast a few hours later, I helped Matt clean up and then decided to split. “I better get going,” I said and Matt nodded. He got up and we walked out the door. Since Matt drove me here, he had to drive me home, too.

“You know how you said earlier that you couldn’t believe we still did this?” he asked me as we started driving towards my house. I nodded. “Well, I’m glad we do.”

I smiled. “Me too, Matty.”

He smiled and continued driving. He pulled into my driveway and I unbuckled my seatbelt to lean over and hug him. “Bye Matty,” I said and he smiled.

I could have sworn he held me for a millisecond longer than necessary, but then again, I was the one whose heart jumped into her throat when he touched my cheek. I brushed it off, said goodbye, and then walked inside, ready to take a well deserved nap.