Love Me Patiently, Love Me Honestly

I walked back into John’s apartment. “I should go.”

“Maddie, come on, don’t be upset about Kennedy. You can stay here.” John said, rubbing my arm.

I gave him a small smile. “I’ll call you later?”

“Okayy.” He wrapped his arms around me and I did the same.

“See ya.” I said as I walked out.

I walked into my house and found my mom sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.

“Hi, mom.” I greeted, hoping she wouldn’t be too angry I hadn’t come home this morning.

“Hey.” She said, not looking up.

“You’re not going to yell at me?” I asked, standing in front of her.

“Yell at you for what, dear?” She said, flipping a page.

“I didn’t come home last night, or this morning, I missed school.”

She laughed. “What are you talking about, Maddie?”

“Mom, you didn’t notice I was gone?”

She finally looked up. “You were gone last night? Hm, I guess I didn’t think about it.”

“Um, okay…” I began to walk away. “Hey are we having dinner tonight?”

“Oh, I don’t think so. Your dad is working late and I’m going out. So you’ll just have to find something.”

I rolled my eyes. “Okay.” I walked up the stairs to my bedroom.

I lay down on my bed and looked at the ceiling. I didn’t know what to do about Kennedy, and these new found feelings for John was just making everything worse. I could try to lose those feelings, deny them until they disappear. But I don’t want to. John is probably the sweetest guy I know, but Kennedy has always been the one that’s had my heart.

I opened my phone and called Garrett.

“Hey, ditcher.”

“Hi, Garrett.”

“What’s up?” He asked.

“Do you want to come over? I need girl time.”

“Excuse me?” He asked, offended.

“Well, you seem to know so much about my love life.” I told him.

“So…?”

“We need to talk.” I said quietly.

“I’ll be over in 20 minutes, okay?” he asked.

“Sounds good.” I said and hung up.

I waited around in my room until I heard Garrett pull up. I walked downstairs and met him at the door. I noticed my mom had already left, without saying goodbye, of course.

“Hey.” Garrett said, walking in.

“Hii.” I gave him a hug.

“Where were you today, missy?” He asked.

I sighed and bit my lip. “Well…”

“John!?” he asked.

I shook my head yes.

“Oh no way!” he said excitedly. “Tell me everything.” he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me to the couch.

“We kissed.” I said.

“Anddd?” He leaned in closer to me.

“And that’s it.” I said.

“Oh.” he rested back on the couch.

“I’m confused.” I pouted.

“About?”

“John and Kennedy! Garrett, last night I felt something for John I’ve never felt before.” I admitted.

“Like loooove?” He asked in a girly voice.

I threw a couch pillow at him. “Get real.” I chuckled.

He laughed. “So what are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know! I thought me and Kennedy were really on the road to…something. Something good. But now that John and I kissed...I don’t know.” I laid my head down on the arm of the couch,

“Well, Madds, who do you trust?” he asked.

“Are you referring to the fact that Kennedy already broke my heart once?” I replied.

“Do you think it’s weird that that’s the first thing that came to your mind?” He said back.

I stopped. “You think I shouldn’t trust him?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think, Maddie. What do you feel?”

I looked down. “I don’t see myself getting over Kennedy anytime soon.”

“Well who do you like more?”

“Well I’ve liked Kennedy longer…” I said.

“Who do you like more?” he said, louder now.

“It’s not that easy, Garrett.” I replied.

“It is that easy! Stick with your gut Madds, who do you have more feelings for?”

“I’ve thought about it, and thought about it. I just don’t know.”

“That’s because it’s not your mind that needs to decide, it’s your heart. I can’t help you.” He walked towards the door. “But I’ll leave you with this, I think one of them, you genuinely like, and the other, you just like the idea of.”

“Well which one is it!?”

“I don’t know Maddie! I’m not the one that likes 2 guys!” he exclaimed and walked out.

I figured before I did anything more I needed to talk to Kennedy. At least mend our friendship, then try to salvage whatever was left of our…whatever we were.

I dialed Kennedy’s number and waited to push the talk button. I didn’t want to do this. Just then a new screen appeared on my phone. New text message. I pressed open and saw it was from John. ‘We’re having a guy’s night tonight. Wanna come? :)’

I know I shouldn’t go, but I want to. Before I could start debating with myself I grabbed my car keys off the counter and walked out the door. I would spend the ride over convincing myself it was right.