Love Me Patiently, Love Me Honestly

“Four days until the big day baby!” John yelled through the phone.

“I know I can’t wait!” I said excitedly. “John, I miss you so much.”

He sighed. “Four days, darling. That’s it. Time will fly.”

I smiled to myself. “Oh crap, speaking of time flying I need to get to school. I’ll text you later!” I said.

“Okie dokie, see you in four days!” John said before he hung up.

I heard Garrett honk just as I threw my books into my bag. He had insisted on driving me to school everyday this week. He said it was to avoid a tragic accident I might cause before my party.

I walked out to the car while Garrett continued to honk, staring at me.

“Hurry up!” He screamed through the open window.

“Holy cow, calm down!” I got in and he sped away.

“We can’t be late again!” He said, and he was right. We’ve been late for first period everyday this week.

I held onto the car door for dear life as Garrett sped to school. “Garrett, if you get me killed four days before my party I’ll come back and haunt you!”

“You just mean four days until you get to see John.” He said.

“Shut up, that’s not the only thing I’m excited for.”

“So you admit you are excited to see John?”

“Of course I’m excited. He’s my best friend.” I replied.

“Okay just making sure because you’ve been hanging out with Kennedy a lot.” He said as we pulled into the school parking lot.

“I can be friends with both of them.” I said.

“But you can only love one of them.” He looked at me when he had parked.

I sat staring at him and before I could reply we heard the warning bell ring.

“Oh my god.” Garrett screamed as we both ran out of the car. He dragged me across the school running until we got to our class, 2 seconds before the late bell rang.

We sat down in our seats next to Pat. “Maybe I should start driving her.” He offered.

“I would like that.” I gave Garrett a dirty look and he smiled back.

****
I went to Kennedy’s house after school; the nanny Jade was still there. Kennedy left us alone in the nursery for awhile while he went to the bathroom. I decided I would make conversation.

“So, Jade how old are you?” I asked nicely.

“I’m 21. How old are you? ” She seemed uninterested.

I looked at her. “I’m almost 18.” I told her.

“You’re not even legal yet?” She put down the blanket she had been folding. “Wow, Kennedy is really in over his head here.”

“Excuse me?” I didn’t understand.

She stared at me like she wanted to say something but she just sighed and turned away. “Oh nothing, are you and Kennedy like dating now?” she asked.

“No, we’re not.”

“Not yet right?” She assumed.

“I’m not psychic.” I replied.

“Just be careful, okay? Trust me.” She said.

“Why should I trust you? And why do you think I need to be careful?” I asked, suddenly regretting I had tried to be nice.

She sighed, again. She was hiding something. “He doesn’t love you, not like you love him.”

I rolled my eyes. “You don’t even know me, or Kennedy for that matter.”

“I’ve been Emma’s nanny since she was born. I know Kennedy plenty, and you too for that matter, he talks about you nonstop.”

“How can you tell me Kennedy doesn’t love me then tell me he talks about me nonstop? You expect me to trust you? Yeah, okay.” I told her.

She smiled at me, condescendingly. “I didn’t say he talked lovingly. More like deceptively.”

Before I could respond Kennedy entered. The tension was almost unbearable before Jade spoke up.

“Well I should be going,” She looked at Kennedy, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” She began walking out.

“Bye Maddie.” She smiled before leaving the room. Ugh.

Kennedy looked at me. “What are you guys friends now?”

“I wouldn’t call it that.” I said. He looked at me questioningly but I ignored it, admiring Emma sleeping in her crib. “So does Haley live here now or something? Emma is always around.” I asked.

He shifted uncomfortably. “She’s just…uh having a hard time keeping up with work and stuff so we watch her until she can get back up on her feet and steady.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. At least she’s cute and nice to have around.” I smiled.

“Just like you!” he laughed.

I blushed even though it was so cheesy. Kennedy grabbed my hands and faced me. He put his forehead against mine. “Maddie, I really, really, really like you.”

I didn’t say anything, my stomach was full of butterflies and I felt like my knees would give out any second.

He kissed me, passionately; more passionately than ever before. There was a sense of urgency behind his lips I hadn’t felt before and I didn’t know how to respond. We parted and he stared at me before pulling me to his bedroom. He shut the door and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me tight to him.

I didn’t want him to ever let go. I cupped my hand on his cheek and kissed him. He leaned me back to where we laid on the bed, Kennedy on top of me, his hand slipping up my shirt. I’d never been like…this with a guy, but if I ever had a pick, it would be Kennedy.

As that thought ran through my head, I suddenly thought of John. He’d be so mad if...this…happened; if I didn’t tell him before hand. I didn’t have to though, did I? No. I didn’t have to. But I wanted to.

Kennedy sat up, pulling off his shirt. I studied his body and realized I wanted this, bad. I let him unbutton my jeans but before he could slide them off I lightly put my hand against his chest. He didn’t stop, and I pushed lightly, not sure if I even wanted him to stop.

“Something wrong?” He said, not looking at me. He kissed all along my jaw line, to the hollow of my neck, and back.

“Kennedy,” I said slowly, “I’m almost eighteen.”

He looked at me now, “What are a few days?” He kissed my lips again.

I touched his cheek and smiled lightly, “It’s the line between legal and illegal.”

He smiled and brushed my bangs out of my eyes, “You’re adorable.”

“Saturday?” I asked.

He sighed and then smiled again. “Saturday.” He kissed my forehead before he rolled off of me.

I buttoned my jeans back up but Kennedy didn’t put his shirt back on. We lay on his bed and he put his arm around me. I stared at the wall next to me, at all the posters. I could tell he was staring at me.

After about two minutes I looked back at him and laughed. “Could you stop?”

“You weren’t worried about the illegal thing, were you?” He asked.

“Of course I was. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“I’d only get in trouble if you screamed rape.” He said.

I sighed and ran my hand over his flat stomach. “Why wouldn’t I want to?”

He laughed and put his hand on mine. “You don’t have to tell John everything, Madds.”

He called my bluff. “That’s not…entirely it.” I looked away, embarrassed.

“You know he’d kill me right? Then you wouldn’t get to see this amazing body.” He smiled.

“So maybe I shouldn’t tell him?” I asked.

“Yeah, maybe not.” He nodded.

“I think you’re right.” I couldn’t believe I actually came to the point hat I wanted Kennedy so bad I was willing to lie to John. But I was there, and I didn’t care.

“So then…” he smiled and kissed me.

I pulled away after a few seconds.

He sighed then smiled at me. “Saturday?” He asked.

“Saturday,” I smiled. He wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled tightly into his chest, and I realized with the one word I had just spoken, I had chosen Kennedy.

_________________________________________________________________

It was Friday night now, the night before my birthday. I was spending it with my family, since I wouldn’t be home tomorrow night. Dad made my favorite dinner and mom made a cake. My mother set a place for Carly at the table, and it was the first time I was okay with my mom not moving on, because I wanted Carly there as much as she did.

“Well honey, happy 18th birthday.” My dad said, raising his glass of milk for a cheer.

I smiled, “Thanks daddy.”

“It was only eighteen years ago tomorrow I was going through the most painful time in my life,” My mom said, laughing. That was the first time I had heard her say anything remotely like herself since I’d been back.

My dad and I laughed with her, and I felt like our family was finally getting back to normal.

I went to bed early that night; ever since I was little I’ve had the hardest time falling asleep on the eve of my birthday, but not tonight. I was dreading tomorrow, because the first thing I had to do in the morning was tell John I was picking Kennedy.

I had tried giving him signals this week, not being as flirty. I think he got them, but it will still hurt him all the same. Especially when he tells me it’s okay and that he understands, because it will remind me how perfect he is.

That’s the thing; John is the perfect guy; the perfect best friend and the perfect boyfriend. But he’s not my perfect boyfriend. Kennedy holds that title.

I drifted off to sleep around 9:30, and at 11:59 p.m. I was awoken to my phone ringing. I watched the clock turn to midnight right before I answered.

“Hi Garrett.”

“Did I win!?” he asked, excitedly.

“Yes, you won.” I laughed at the game all of us have been playing for 6 years now. We all tried to call each other first on our birthdays. I always won on the guys’ birthday, and Garrett always won on mine.

“Sweet! Happy Birthday, Maddie! Love you!”

“Thanks buddy. Love you too.” I said. “Oh, John is calling me now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Make sure you tell him I won! Bye!” He said and hung up. I laughed then turned to John’s call.

“Happy Birthday, baby!” John screamed before I even said hello.

“Thanks John! Garrett beat you though.” I told him.

“Whatever, it’s my call that matters.” I could hear him smiling.

I laughed. “I’ll see you tomorrow, kay?”

“Okay baby. Get some sleep. Goodnight.” He said before he hung up. He still called me baby and it still made my heart jump just like it had when I was a kid.

I frowned and stared at my ceiling. I read my texts I had gotten from Pat and Jared wishing me a Happy Birthday, I said thank you. The clock now read 12:04, I hadn’t heard from Kenny.

I shrugged it off, I was tired and my eyelids felt heavy. Before I could fall asleep my phone rang again, signaling I had a text message.

Go outside. My heart jumped as I read it was from Kennedy.

How many times are you gonna do this to me? I mused.

However many times it takes to make you mine. Now come outside.

I climbed out of bed and put on a hoodie. I walked downstairs and I opened my front door. I gasped when I saw Kennedy holding a dozen roses, clad in black pants and a white v-neck. He had his hair perfectly swayed to the side and he looked so cute.

He smiled crookedly at me; I could tell he felt like he looked funny. If only he knew how mesmerized I was. I grinned at him as he handed me the flowers.

“Happy Birthday.” He said.

“Thank you.” I closed my eyes as I took in the deep scent of the red roses.

“I love you, Maddie.” He said, holding one of my hands in his. His voice portrayed happiness but his eyes said something else. He noticed me studying him and he came closer to me. “I love you more than anything.”

I let my body fall into his, it felt like a perfect mold. “I lov-” I started, but he cut me off.

“Don’t say anything now. Tell me tomorrow.” He closed his eyes, he looked like the request he had made was paining him.

“Why?” I asked. I wanted to tell him I loved him, and how much I did.

“There are just some things… I just want you to be sure.” He said.

“I’m positive, right now.” I pouted.

He flashed a small smile. “You have a big day tomorrow; I can’t wait until I see you.” He leaned down and kissed my lips softly. He wrapped his arms around my small frame and picked me up. He held on tight and I felt safe.

He set me down lightly after a few seconds and detached his lips from mine.

“You can’t spend the night?” I asked, not even thinking. I just wanted him to hold me all night long.

He looked down for a second, looking like he seriously was contemplating it. My stomach jumped with hope.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” He sighed, not wanting to give me that answer as much as I didn’t want to hear it. He walked through my front yard and got in his car, he smiled at me once more before he drove away.

I walked back up to my room and fell asleep with the sweet taste of Kennedy’s lips on my own. I wanted tomorrow to come; I wanted to be with Kennedy. I was ready to be with Kennedy.