A Drama Provider

This is it. Nine in the morning at a rest stop. The time and place where I agreed to meet my best friend, and saying I was fidgety and nervous were two major understatements.

“Calm down, Delly.” Alex’s arms wrapped around me to keep me from twittering my hands and steady my arms. “It’s going to be fine. It’s just a little conversation between you and him. You’ll be in plain view of everybody else so nothing bad can happen and if it gets to me too much just wave me over and I’ll come throw you over my shoulder and run off.” After his little serious calming speech, the last bit made me giggle, though I had no doubt he’d actually do it.

“Your scrawny ass couldn’t pick me up on one of my light days.” I teased, mostly to keep my mind away from the fact that the bus was slowing to a stop.

“Fine, I’ll send Zack over to steal you.” Alex squeezed me a little tighter and I giggled harder. “Either way, it’s going to be fine.” He added defiantly and then smirked before licking my cheek.

“Ew, Alex.” I whined and pulled my right arm out from under his to wipe my cheek off.

“Sorry Delly, couldn’t’ help it.” Alex chuckled and tickled my sides as I squirmed in his arms. “You just taste so yummy.”

“Stop it, please?” I pleaded in between laughs and he grinned at me as his fingers stopped tickling.

“One condition.” My stomach dropped at this. Alex had been sweet since he’d confessed his whole crush thing, but he’d kept his distance in the process, or at least serious distance. He still liked to wrap his arm around me and share a bunk with me, and last night as I tried uselessly to tire myself by watching a movie, he held my hand. But no daring kisses, or watching me undress like some people,Caleb, just tight hugs and sweet kisses on my cheek. “You have to talk to Kyle today too.” My mouth dropped open this time as I stared at him wide eyed. I had been expecting pretty much anything but that.

“Alex, I don’t,” I was cut off when he placed his hand over my mouth.

“Nope. You’re going to talk to him, you need to talk to him. Just let him know you’re okay, and see how he is, casual conversation.” Alex took his hand away and I pouted.

“I don’t think it’s such a great idea.” I mumbled and started to twitter my thumbs. Confronting Kyle would be tough.

“Well I think it’s a brilliant plan, and you’re doing it anyway.” He said it in a ‘that’s final’ kind of tone and let me go as he stood to go to the kitchen.

“Fine.” I sighed. Alex had a way like that, to where I did pretty much whatever he asked because he didn’t demand it. It was all just suggestions, and they were always good suggestions. “But can’t it wait till tomorrow? I’m going to be stressed out enough today, what with Jonathan and Caleb.” I noticed how similar I sounded to a whiny seventeen year old. Alex looked over his shoulder at me with a quirked eyebrow as he pulled a bowl and a box of cereal from the cabinet.

“Caleb?” He questioned and I quickly shut my eyes, realizing I hadn’t mentioned the whole fiasco from yesterday to him.

“Yeah, Caleb came to the bus yesterday before I went to see you guys and begged to have dinner with me.” I admitted, a little bit ashamed for some odd reason, but decided to leave out the whole me almost naked part.

“That sounds like fun.” Alex chuckled and went back to pouring his cereal in his bowl. There it was again. Alex not judging me, though most would considering the situation.

“Right.” I rolled my eyes and stood up from the couch reluctantly. “Like being in Caleb’s presence isn’t stressful enough, now I’ve got to eat in front of him too. I’ll probably end up choking on my pancakes and then dying cause he doesn’t know how to properly execute CPR.” Alex laughed at my made up story, both of knowing just how plausible it actually was.

“Okay, you can talk to Kyle tomorrow, but you’re not putting it off any more after that.” Alex agreed and went to the fridge for the milk. “And you have to wake me up after the whole ‘Caleb fiasco’ and tell me what went down.” He winked over at me and I placed my hands on my hips. He’d said fiasco, the same word I’d just used to describe Caleb, but hadn’t said out loud.

“Whatever.” I shrugged and sighed, letting my hands fall to my sides. “I guess I better go.” I said without much enthusiasm, causing Alex to chuckle once again. He sat the milk on the counter and walked over to me. He grabbed my upper arms and moved his head so I had to look him in the eyes as he smiled at me.

“It’s going to be easy and fast.” I snorted. Easy and fast were two words I was positive would not describe my conversation with Jonathan. “And it’ll do you both some good.” Alex leaned in and kissed my cheek, squeezing my arms lightly when he pulled back and smiled at me one last time before he went back to his breakfast. “Love you Delly.” He yelled as I exited the bus.

“Love you too, Alex.” I yelled back before the door closed. My breathing immediately started to come in and out ragged. This was going to be a long one hour rest break. I spotted Jonathan sitting at a picnic table under a short of make shift tent thing. He was staring at his hands clasped together and that’s when it hit me. He was just as nervous about this as I was. I approached him slowly, wanting with every step to turn and run back to the bus.

I stopped a few feet away, not sure what to say or even how to start the conversation off. Before I could decide on what to do, he looked up. His blue eyes stuck to me and I froze, a dead quiet silence falling on the two of us.

“Hey Dell.” He gave a small smile and I returned it with my own very small one.

“Hi Jonathan.” I managed to get my feet to take the next few steps and sit down on the bench opposite of his. “How are you?” My throat felt intensely dry and smaller than it should.

“Honestly,” he smiled genuinely and I felt myself relax a lot, “I’m a mess. How about you?” His head tilted to the left just the tiniest bit as his smile tugged a little more on his lips, making it just a fraction bigger.

“Mess describes it pretty well.” I nodded and smiled too.

“Yeah, I heard about the break thing between you and Kyle.” Jonathan looked back down at his hands, his thumbs engaging in their own battle of thumb wars. I stayed quiet, unsure about where we were going with this thread. “Listen, Adele.” I brought my eyes up to his face and realized he was already staring at me. “Don’t do anything rash because of the kiss. You and Kyle fit together, and he’s a wreck without you.” Jonathan shook his head and looked off into the woods that always seemed to surround rest stops. “It’s not our place or time.” I felt my facial features scrunch up in confusion.

“What do you mean?” My hand reached out to touch his, but it quickly returned to my lap before he could notice it hovering over his.

“I liked you as more than friends back in school Adele, but now things are different.” I felt a ping of hurt in my chest. “You’re with Kyle now. Our chance at whatever we might have had is gone and done.” He shifted his glance back to me and I stiffly wiped away at my eyes.

“I’m not with Kyle anymore.” I corrected. Hadn’t he started this conversation off with that fact in the first place?

“Adele, I know you better than anybody.” He smiled with a little sad twinge to it. “You can’t sit there and tell me that you would be able to officially breakup with Kyle, not just a flimsy break, but actually tell him to start looking for a new girlfriend because you aren’t going back to him, and then date me while everyday you’d have to see him heartbroken and envious. You can’t do that without lying, and you know it.” Jonathan shook his head slowly and sighed with the same sad note that his smile had had. “It can’t work out.”

“It can’t, or you just don’t want to?” I couldn’t help but accuse. All of his dumb reasons seemed to be so much about other people and not about the two of us, and isn’t love supposed to not care what others think?

“I love you Adele, I do.” Jonathan got up from the table and walked over to my side, bending down to softly kiss my lips. He pulled away before I wanted him to and held that sad smile still. “But whatever chance we had at a relationship disappeared when you said yes to Kyle.” He straightened back up and stuffed his hands in his pockets. My eyes were stinging and the back of my head hurt from trying to hold back the tears.

“I love you too.” I whispered, not caring whether he heard or not as he strode away. Like he said, it didn’t matter anymore, our chance was long gone and I just had to let go. However easy he made it sound, it still hurt to have him walk away like that. Once I couldn’t detect his back in the distance anymore, I turned and laid my head down on the table, finally letting the tears escape and the sobs to break through from my lips.

I was only there for a few minutes before two familiar arms wrapped around my waist and I turned to bury my face in his chest, letting my arms wrap around his neck and my tears soak his shirt. All the while, Alex sat there with me, gently rubbing my back and telling me it would all be okay in the end. It would work out.

Matt came to get us five minutes before our stop was over, which was twenty minutes behind everybody else. He’d let us stay a little longer for my benefit. I smiled gratefully and hugged him before pulling myself together, the little bit I could, and returning to the bus with Alex and Matt on each side of me.

“It’s about time, Delly!” Jack attacked me with a monster hug as soon as my feet made it to the bus floor.

“I love you too, Jack Jack.” My voice sounded so strained; there was no guessing as to what I had been doing for the past hour. Crying was the obvious answer.

“Are you gonna come watch our set again?” He asked excitedly, trying to ignore my awful situation I supposed.

“Not today.” I shook my head and gave him a half smile. “I’m going to shower when we stop and then rest for as long as I can.” Jack started to pout.

“But then you won’t get to hear us play Delly Rae again.” I rolled my eyes.

“You guys aren’t going to play that every time.” I told him as I slipped off my shoes and jacket, slowly inching back to the bunks.

“Oh yes we are. It’s a crowd favorite now.” Alex winked as he grabbed my hand and started to pull me the rest of the way to the bunks.

“Everyone’s dying to know who Delly Rae is though.” Zack laughed. “I had this one interviewer lady for AMP stop me and like quiz me down on who was the latest addition to our songs.” He shook his head and I thought about my interview with AMP, it now seemed so long ago.

“Me too!” Jack jumped up and the rest of the conversation turned to background noise as Alex managed to get me to the back without much of a scene.

“Thanks Alex.” I whispered as we stopped in front of his bunk and I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest. “For everything.” His arms immediately wrapped around me tightly and then squeezed.

“Anything for you, Cupcake.” He probably added that just to make me giggle, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t. “Now get some rest before your lovely date tonight with the redhead.” I groaned and buried my head in his shoulder.

“The last thing I want is more hurt.” I shook my head and felt Alex’s arms leave my side as his cool hands cupped my face and brought it up so I was staring him in the eyes.

“You can’t run from it doll, you have to embrace it.” His thumbs softly rubbed my cheeks and I sighed, resting all the weight from my head in his hands.

“I just want to bury it.” I muttered and Alex chuckled, bringing my face forward as he leaned in and kissed my forehead.

“Get some rest. You hardly slept last night.” He gave me one more smile before dropping his hands and going back to the front. Boy is strange.

I climbed into his bunk, positive sleep was something that wouldn’t come to me anytime soon, and pulled out Alex’s laptop. I was checking my email when I heard the bus door open and close quite a few times. I figured it was the boys leaving to go do their set or more interviews and went back to my mail.

Course I had new messages from a few friends back in Texas, and my dad, and Kyle’s mom. She always checks up on the seven of us at least once a week. Reading her love filled note made me sick to my stomach, so I quickly shut the laptop down and pushed it aside. I crossed my arms, trying to think of something to do to keep my mind away from boys in general and a thought sparked.

I got dressed quickly in another pair of Alex’s booty shorts (both he and Jack seem to have a lot) and a random Glamour Kills shirt that was a tad bit too big for me before I slipped on my no laces Vans and ran off the bus. I was sure to keep myself hidden as best as I could and keep an eye out for the boys that I was trying to avoid for the time being as I navigated my way to the famous merch ave.

“Delly?” I sighed in relief as I made it to the tent without causing a commotion. However, Delicious looked at me oddly as I maneuvered my way in between the tightly pressed together tents and behind the counter that held all of All Time Low’s merch.

“Hey Delic, I’ve got a special surprise for you.” I grinned at him as he kept his eyebrows raised. “You officially have the day off now. I am relieving you of your merch duties.” I clasped my hands together as I looked at the board that was set up behind us with the different T-shirt designs and their prices.

“Are you serious?” Delicious asked completely baffled. “You want to work merch?”

“I’m under a bunch of stress and need some way to get it out, so yes, I want to work merch.” My smile dropped a little as the major drama problems I was having clouded my mind.

“Okay, um, I’ve already got it all laid out, but if you run out of anything there’s boxes right here that have more of all the stuff. The boxes are labeled by sizes though, so you’ll have to dig for specific designs if you do run out.” He quickly stood up and opened one box to show me. “You sure you can handle the crazy fans attacking you?” He asked a little uneasy before he was about to leave. I could see how badly he wanted to go in his eyes, and it made me smile and push him further out of the tent.

“I’ve helped with FTSK’s merch before too. I can hold the fort down for a day, now go have fun.” I waved as he grinned and ran off. “Poor boy.” I shook my head and turned back to the table with the merch on it. Things were still for a while before the gates opened and kids came running, most going directly to the stages and some lingering along the lines of tents. I fidgeted with folding and refolding the shirts until I finally started getting some customers, most of them were girls who looked to be about thirteen or fourteen, all of them asking where the guys were.

I was proud of myself as I continued to hold fast until around five, when the boys surprisingly showed up to sign stuff for the fans.

“So where’d Delicious go again?” Jack asked for the tenth time and I just rolled my eyes, ignoring him.

“I think Delly got bored so she took over his job.” Zack yelled from his end of the table, while Jack was on the opposite end, unable to hear him.

“Did you banish him, Delly?” Jack leaned his head back to look at me while he didn’t have anything to sign for a brief moment.

“I gave him the day off.” I corrected and pushed his head up so he could sign the poster that Rian had just slid to him.

“You weren’t avoiding anything by taking over his job, were you?” Alex glanced over his shoulder with a tender smile.

“I just felt like giving the kid a day off, is that such a bad thing?” I threw myself down in my chair behind the guys.

“You have my permission to take over Delic’s duties whenever you like.” Matt grinned from beside me, causing me to shake my head and giggle.

“Thank you, Mattie.” I winked at him and turned to see Alex playfully glaring at me. After the boys got done signing and taking oddles of pictures, they ran off to get lunch while Alex hung back and stayed with me to run the tent. He did everything he could to keep me laughing the entire time as well, until Matt and Jack came back to take over so we could go and get something to eat. Alex insisted upon taking me out and paying for my lunch instead of getting the free stuff at the caterer’s tent. This also included, apparently, taking me for ice cream afterward and then carrying me piggy back the whole way back, even though we got a little bit lost on the way.

Once we finally made it back to the bus, Alex insisted on helping me pick out an outfit for Caleb’s dinner. He kept trying to get me in a dress while I pressed for pajama pants and a tank. Eventually I came out in a pair of ‘Get Low’ booty shorts and a gray cherry hoodie.

“I say you should dress up a little more.” Alex crossed his arms as he leaned against the bathroom door jam, watching me tweak with my hair.

“And I say I shouldn’t be going to Denny’s at two in the morning in the first place.” I smiled sarcastically at him while he rolled his eyes. “But I am, and so I think he should be happy I’m not in my pajamas.” This caused Alex to snort.

“Hate to break it to you sugar, but you’re in your pajamas.” I looked down and felt the grin slowly take over.

“So,” was the best I could come up with and I stuck my tongue out for emphasis at him. He just shook his head and walked toward the front room, with me in tow. It was already ten and everybody else was cozy in their bunks for the night while their stuff was already packed up for the night too. Alex was trying to fight off sleep to stay up with me while I tried convincing him to go to bed. I ended up losing as he put a movie in and got comfy on the couch, patting the seat next to him. I rolled my eyes, making sure he saw, before settling down next to him and cuddling into his side, allowing my eyes to close and to breathe in his smell.

I zoned out watching the movie, and the vibration coming from the hoodie pocket brought me out of it. I jumped slightly and pulled my phone from my pocket to see a new text from Caleb. I sighed and tilted my head back so I could say goodbye to Alex. A gentle smile spread across my lips at the sight of him sleeping. His face was so peaceful and calm. I slowly pulled myself from his side and slid out from his arms before slipping my shoes on and bounding off the bus, only to fall into Caleb.

“That excited to see me?” Caleb smirked in his usual stupor of cockiness. His arms were already around me and his hands low on my back, partially my fault because of the stumbling.

“Of course, Caleb.” I noticed my voice came out as unenthusiastic as I felt about this whole date thing. Caleb’s arrogant persona dropped, leaving a pretty boy with a sad frown standing in front of me.

“Well this is pretty much all I’ve been able to think about all day.” He smiled, small but sincere. “And I would love to start it off like this.” He muttered as he bent down to softly kiss me, a kiss that lasted long enough to make my head spin from lack of oxygen. “And off to Denny’s.” He grinned when he pulled back and let his arms fall from around me, but grasping my hand in his as he started to direct me to where we were going. I decided to be as stubborn as I could as he led me into the almost empty restaurant and to our booth. I sat on my side and crossed my arms as Caleb slid into the side opposite mine. “So, how has your day been?” His light, conversational question made my blood boil.

“Fine.” I grunted and stared down at the menu. Part of me just wanted to reach over the table and slap him, but then that part lost the courage when our waitress approached the table.

“What can I get you two to drink?” The lady looked to be in her mid thirties and a ton of makeup caked on her face. I scanned the choices and looked up to tell her what I wanted, only to find her staring at Caleb. Of course. She was practically drooling over him. My gaze slid to Caleb and my disgust fell into place as he sat there with his chin resting in his hand, and a perfect smile gracing his kissable lips as he stared at me.

“I want a coke.” It came out harsh, which was my intention, but when Caleb’s smile faltered and he finally took his gaze off of me and toward the menu, I felt a little guilty. This whole thing was tearing me apart. Half of me was still set on telling Caleb to stuff it and just slap him till he gets it, but then the other half was slowly falling for all those cute smiles and innocent kisses he kept giving me.

“Same here please.” Caleb gave the waitress a small smile and nod before dismissing her and turning back to the menu. “Breakfast or dinner, my dear Adele?” I almost had to clasp my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing at the waitresses face as she stomped off to get our drinks.

“If you’re trying to get brownie points by ignoring the waitress, it’s not going to work. I saw you checking out her name tag, probably planning on leaving your number on one of the napkins on the table.” I recited sarcastically as I flipped through the menu. Caleb’s sigh brought my attention away from the yummy looking omelet and to the sad boy in front of me.

“I told you Adele, I’m not playing games anymore. You’re all I need.” He reached over and squeezed my hand lightly with his.

“Okay, as if that wasn’t cheesy enough to make me gag.” I pulled my hand away and sat back against the booth. “Caleb, seriously, why are we doing this?” I shook my head and crossed my arms, however before he could answer, our waitress walked up with our sodas. After she left his mouth opened.

“Adele, I really like you. You’re so different, and don’t swoon at my charm like most girls. It’s refreshing.” He chuckled and started to scan the menu again. “You’ve always been that untouchable kind of thing, ya know? So pretty, so funny, and always Kyle’s.” The melancholy tone in his last statement is what changed my mind.

“Fine.” I sighed and leaned forward, resting my elbows on the table and my head in my hands. Caleb looked up from his menu with his eyebrows raised, waiting for me to continue. “I want the spinach and mushroom omelet.” I looked up from the picture and saw Caleb leaning forward as well, with a huge grin plastered on his face.

“Does that mean we’re dating?” He asked like he was a little kid in a candy store; full of excitement and wonder.

“No.” I defended a little too quickly and watched as he grinned wider. “It means we’re on a date.” I corrected and pointed my finger at him. “But do not start getting any funny ideas!” I warned and Caleb held his hands up as our waitress came back again, ogling at him.

Caleb ordered for both of us and once she was gone he asked me about my day. Since I was succumbing to his wants anyway, I gave him a full description of my day, leaving out, of course, Jonathan and I’s conversation this morning and my reaction afterward.

“So, you and Alex seem to be getting close.” Caleb was trying to hint at something; I could tell from his tone, I just wasn’t quite sure what.

“He’s become a good friend, not that he wasn’t one before, but before he was more of you guys’ friend, and now he’s more mine.” I stopped as I pondered. Mine.

“Well, you know you could have had more friends if you ever stepped away from Kyle for more than a quick bathroom break.” I glared at Caleb as a new waitress stopped by the table with our plates. I waited until after she’d left to say something.

“You know it makes you look bad to bring up an ex boyfriend on the first date.” I hissed and almost immediately regretted it as Caleb’s honest smile turned into a full blown smirk.

“So we’ve moved on to ex boyfriend and first date; I think my chances are getting better every minute.” Caleb chuckled lowly and the sound made my stomach flutter.

“I think you’re a douche.” I muttered and started into my omelet, never looking up at Caleb again until it was all gone.

“Was it good?” He broke the tension filled silence with such ease and I looked up at him to see his smirk had reduced to his cute smile again.

“Honestly, I inhaled it so I couldn’t tell you much about the taste.” I shrugged and listened to his soft chuckle again.

“Real food does tend to make you scarf when all you’ve been eating is cereal and poptarts.” He agreed and eased out of the booth just as smoothly as his voice sounded. “But it was exceptionally perfect to eat it with you.” The one corner of his mouth inched upward as he held his hand out for me. I gave him my hand and let him pull me out of the booth. I wasn’t, however, expecting him to pull me into him, just help me up, though he did both. “If you’d allow me, I could show you that I’m not so bad.” He whispered in my ear and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, squeezing me tight.

“I know you’re not so bad, Caleb.” I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against his collar bone. “It’s just, I’m not sure who I want to be with at this point, or even where I want to be.” I admitted, biting my bottom lip.

“Where you want to be?” Caleb repeated the part that I had hoped he would ignore. Truth was I wasn’t sure I wanted to be on tour anymore, not after all this drama, but I didn’t want to go back to Texas just yet either.

“Let me just keep thinking, kay?” I pulled my head away from his body and tilted it up so I could make sure I was talking to honest, coherent Caleb, not the mischief making and meddling man. Both, I had lately noticed, suited him quite well.

“Alright.” He smiled brilliantly and squeezed me again before letting one arm fall and the other stay wrapped around my shoulders as he started to guide us toward the door. “As long as you promise to give me a good night kiss before you run off to your new bus.” And now the classic, cocky Caleb was back.

“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes and pushed my weight into his side. We both laughed lightly as he opened the door for me and the cool night air hit us. I wrapped my arms closer to me and snuggled a little closer to Caleb too for warmth, causing him to chuckle.

“Cold?” He unwrapped his arm from around my shoulders and I looked over at him worried. I figured he was trying to play some game, like usual, and make me colder, but a warm blush brushed my cheeks as I watched him take his jacket off and hand it to me.

“Thanks.” I muttered and slipped it on, on top of my own light hoodie, with a bit of shock. Caleb was proving to be more than an arrogant prick, he was becoming a sweet gentleman, probably from hanging out with Jonathan so much.

“It’s nothing, doll.” He placed his arm around me again once I had the jacket securely on. The rest of the walk, back to the concert grounds, was quiet, and once we reached it Caleb dropped his arm. I was even more thankful for that, grateful no one would see this, and hoping no one was awake anymore. “So, I guess this is goodnight?” Caleb stuffed his hands in his pockets and smiled, apparently brushing off the awkward atmosphere I was breathing in.

“Night Caleb.” I lowered my voice unconsciously and started to walk away, but he grabbed my hand before I got two steps away.

“I think you’re forgetting my good night kiss.” His voice lowered as well, and he smirked before bending down to kiss me. The kiss was short to my astonishment, and when he pulled back he pressed his forehead against mine. “Goodnight Adele.” He whispered, his warm breath hitting my cool lips as a temptation.

“Goodnight Caleb.” I whispered back and opened my eyes just before he pulled away from me and turned to leave for his bus, but not before I caught sight of his huge grin. There was definitely something different about Caleb Turman.

I shook my head of the dizziness he’d left me with and started my way back to the bus. I hummed lightly on the way, but stopped as I tried my hardest to be as quiet as I could be upon entering the bus. I bit my bottom lip once I reached the top of the stairs and saw Alex crumbled up on the tiny couch, mostly in the same position I’d left him in, except now his head was twisted funny instead of leaning on top of mine.

“Alex.” I whispered, gently shaking his leg as I sat down on the edge of the couch next to him. He didn’t budge. “Alex, hun?” I tried a little louder and a little harder, but still no response. I sighed and let my eyes drift from his face to his chest. The very top of his shirt was unbuttoned and the sight had me biting my bottom lip again. A plan slowly enveloped from the staring, though not a smart one, it was one that I carried out none the less. I leaned forward and placed one hand on his chest, bringing my lips dangerously close to his neck. I hesitated inches from it, battling in my head that I shouldn’t do this, that it was wrong to tease him when I didn’t know what I wanted to begin with, but then he took a huge inhale and both his arms wrapped around me.

“You’re back.” He mumbled in a groggy tone. I felt some relief that I hadn’t fully carried my plan out, but some regret as well.

“Mmhmm.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and lightly tugged him off the couch. “Now let’s get you into your bunk.” I kept my voice low so as to not wake anyone else up on the bus, and tugged at Alex again.

“I’m the one who’s supposed to help you to bed.” He muttered before quickly scooping me up in his arms and staggering toward the back.

“Alex, put me down!” I yelled/whispered. “You’re exhausted and there is absolutely no reason I can’t walk!”

“Shhhh!” Alex scrunched his nose up while his eyes were still mostly closed, looking absolutely adorable. “Time for bed.” He skillfully placed me in his bunk and crawled in next to me, quickly pulling me into his arms again and weaving his fingers through my hair. “Night Night Delly.” He placed his chin on top of my head and pulled the covers over the both of us.

“Night Alex.” I smiled, snuggling my face into his neck just to tickle it with my nose. He chuckled slightly and pulled me down so my head rested on his chest, finding my left hand and lacing our fingers together.

“I love you.” His soft, sweet words made my heart stop and then beat abnormally slow. Course we’d said ‘love you’ to one another tons of times, and I’d meant it every time, but as friends. This was different, it felt different. My eyes welled up with tears as the words made my mind switch to Kyle, thinking about him, alone in his bunk, probably texting the same words to my phone. How awful could I be to lead both boys, so sweet and so perfect, on?

I was on edge of hysteria when I noticed Alex’s breathing had slowed and evened out. He was already asleep, which meant I didn’t have to choose to say anything back, yet.

Why can’t things be simple?Because you complicate things

I sighed and snuggled back into Alex.
Today had been awful, but I had a feeling tomorrow would be worse.