Love's Requiem

After the doctor’s we went to get some breakfast and talk about what we were going to do.

“We have options.” Alex began. “You can… you can get it taken care of.” He said as I saw a sad expression creep on to his face.

“Personally I feel paranoid about doing something like that.” I confessed.

“Adoption?”

“I guess, but that still involves me having to explain to Niko everything.”

“Well go see him and have sex and I guess play it off that he’s the father.” He told me.

“That won’t work.” I said shaking my head remember my talk with Jack. “I just need time to think.” I told him.

“I noticed you stopped wearing the rings he gave you.”

“It kills me to look at them.” I told him.

The next few days I kept to myself, when I wasn’t needed around I usually retreated to my bunk or hotel room. I stopped talking to pretty much everyone including Niko. I knew I had no choice but to end up hurting him again. I just had to find out a way to do it so it wouldn’t be severe like last time. Three days after the doctor appointment, I figured out what I was going to do.

“What? Why are you leaving?” Jack asked me as I threw two days of clothes in my backpack.

“I have to do it in person, I owe him that much.” I explained.

“So you’re going to tell him your pregnant with Alex’s kid?”

“No, I’m going to tell him the same thing I should have told him when I was 16. He’d expect that and won’t be that hurt… hopefully.”

“How long are you going to be gone?”

“Two days if that, I will be back for the Texas show.” I told him, as I walked off the bus and left.

I told Niko I was coming because I had to talk to him, after that I think he realized what was about to happen.

“I agree with you Isabella.” Niko told me a day later after I poured my heart out telling him I couldn’t leave New York and my job and that wouldn’t be fair to him.

“You do?” I asked confused.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t see this coming.” He told me, “You and I were meant to be friends.” He said as he looked at the engagement ring I had put on the table earlier.

“I’m sorry.” I told him again as he hugged me.

“At least this time, it’s for the better and you were brave enough to tell me.” He said stroking my hair.

I spent the night with Niko and Luka, still feeling guilty about not telling him the real reason why I couldn’t marry him. The next morning, Niko drove me to the airport where I got my flight to Texas to meet the guys.

“Why did you go see him?” Alex asked me, as I unpacked my things.

“Don’t worry about it.” I told him, shaking my head.

“Considering that’s my kid in you I do.” He whispered to me.

“Okay,” I began as I rested my head against the bunk. “Let’s get two things clear right now,
I’m carrying it therefore my decisions are what’s final. And feel free to leave.” I told him as I stormed to the front of the bus.

“You can’t have a kid on your own.” Jack told me while I was reading a book in the back lounge later that night.

“Let me guess, Alex talked to you.” I said not looking up from my book.

“You need him for this.”

“I don’t need anyone for this.”

“Bella stop being so fucking stubborn, you’re not the only who this is going to effect! Open your fucking eyes he still cares about you!” Jack shouted at me and then stormed to the front.

The next week Jack stopped talking to me, and I already had detached myself from everyone else outside of anything work related. I currently was debating whether or not to even bother doing the next tour or sitting that one out due to health reasons. Despite him not talking to me, Alex still wouldn’t leave me by myself when the guys would go out. Currently we were on the last night of tour in Virginia, and everyone on the tour was out at some club meanwhile I was sitting on the bus watching the soccer report while Alex was in the front playing video games. At least that’s what I thought he was doing until I heard him playing his acoustic, and playing a melody that sounded incredibly familiar to me. I tried to listen if he was singing but everything was coming out mumbled since I was too far away, a few minutes later I had given up and just went to the front so I could hear it better.

“Oh son, please keep a steady wing and know your the only one that means anything to me steer clear of the sun, or you'll find yourself in the sea won't you look at your wings,”
Alex was lightly singing.

I knew this song from somewhere; I even knew the words myself. Why couldn’t I just think of the title? I sat across from him on the other couch he was staring down at his feet while played; he looked like he was really getting in to the song.

“Oh gods, why is this happening to me? All I wanted was a new life for my son to grow free. And now you took the only thing that meant anything to me I will never fly again. I will hang up my wings.” He went on.