Snapshots of Reality

Clover was at my house. Her mother had kicked her out because Rider caught her with drugs. Drugs. What I had introduced to her. She played it off as if she had done it before, but we all knew she was a beginner. I felt guilty. It was my fault. How do you get the first girl you care about into drugs? I looked up at myself in the mirror. I was disgusted. I knew how bad things could get. I needed a fix everyday and now Clover was addicted, and it was all my fault. I knew she was. Someone who isn't addicted, doesn't call Brad.

I would have to face her some time, but I wasn't sure what I could say. For once I felt like a fuck up. Not only had I fucked up my life, but I was about to fuck up Clover's. I couldn't live with that. I had to apologize for getting her hooked, and I had to help her straighten up. Then maybe, if she wanted, she could try to move back in with her mother. I didn't know if she wanted that, but it was a possibility. I gave myself one more glance in the mirror, and then I headed for my room. Clover was still sleeping on the bed, and she looked so peaceful. I sat on the edge and shook her a little. She stretched and looked around for a minute.

"It was real." She said with a frown, as if she hoped to wake up and it all be a dream. "I'm really homeless." There were tears in her beautiful eyes now and I couldn't help but hug her. "What did I do? I can never please my mother. No matter how big of a whore Rider is, I will never compare to her. I'm not good enough."

"You are." I pulled her closer and rubbed her back in a soothing way. "This is all my fault. I got you on the drugs and I will get you off. That way you can move back home."

"No." She pulled away. "I don't want to get off them Ronnie. They make me feel like I'm actually worth something. Moving back into that house is the last thing I want to do. I just don't want to live on the streets."

I smiled at her. Did she actually think that she would have to live on the streets? My parents were hardly ever home, and they wouldn't mind if she stayed anyway. She would stay here with me, if she wanted to. I wasn't sure how I would ask her that. I didn't want her to think that I was being pushy. Right now I wanted to be with her, and not just for sex. That could wait. I wanted to get to now her better than anyone else. I wanted to know everything and I also wanted her to know everything about me.

"Clover." I laughed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "You will never be homeless. Unless you don't want to stay with me."

She blushed and looked at the floor. "So you mean it?"

"Yes. Whenever you're ready to start any type of relationship with me, just say so. I will be waiting. Also you can have my room as long as you want. I'll sleep downstairs on the couch."

"No." She grabbed my arm. "I want you to stay in here with me."

Excitement ran through me. This girl was absolutely amazing. She accepted me for who I was, and even took on my way of life. She what I had been waiting for all these years. I nodded my head and lay back on the bed. She put her head on my chest and we stayed that way for awhile. I didn't want to screw everything up. She hesitated to say something a few times but never got it out. Finally she lifted up her head and brought her lips to mine. It was like earlier only with more passion. She was actually kissing me back this time and I couldn't even explain how it made me feel. She reached down for my pants and I caught her hands.

"No." I whispered.

She got up from the bed and looked away. She was embarrassed. I hadn't meant it to seem like I didn't want her. God knew I did. This was about me proving that I wanted her only, and not just to get in her pants.

"Clover." I said trying to get her to look at me. "Listen, It's not that I don't like you in that way. I do, I swear to god I do. It's just I want to prove to you that there is more on my mind." She finally looked at me, her face returning to its normal color. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to get to know you."

"Thanks." She gave a half smile. "You don't understand how much better I feel. I thought you just couldn't stand to look at me that way, you know since what happened with Max."

"It's in the past." I took her hand. "But now that your staying with me, you have to follow my rules."

"Oh god, I'm afraid to ask." She laughed.

"There's only one, and that is to spend all your time with me."

"I guess I can manage." She rolled her eyes, and then we kissed again.