Always Hurts Looking Back

I thought that at this time of the week Ronnie would have been back in Vegas, but that wasn't the case. We were sitting on my couch eating Franken Berry cereal that I had ordered from Amazon.com. It wasn't my fault that California didn't sell my favorite breakfast cereal. Ronnie moved his body to face me as his finished his breakfast. He put the bowl on the table and looked at me. I too put my own bowl on the table and waited for him to say something.

"I think you should move back in with us in Vegas." I looked at him sadly.

"I can't do that Ronnie."

"Why not?"

I stared at him as he waited for an answer. The answer in my head was longer than what I planned on telling him. There were countless reasons why I couldn't go back to Vegas. I had good memories there, but I did have bad ones too. I missed seeing Max, Michelle, Bryan, and Robert everyday sure. I hardly knew Robert or Bryan, but they had come and visited me since I left Vegas.

With the good comes the bad, and I couldn't face seeing it all again. If I went back would I come home to see Ronnie once again on a wild rampage of sex with the latest hooker or even groupie? There was pain and sights I never wanted to see again.

My divorce with Max was still so fresh. I still find myself putting on my wedding band from time to time. The ring Max had bought me still resides in a special place. I remember the day he bought it. We still didn't even believe ourselves that the marriage was going to work, but he made every effort to make it stick.

I broke myself from my daze and looked at Ronnie's beautiful face. As much as I didn't want to tell him no I knew I could never go back.

"I'm sorry Ronnie."

"Do you not like the apartment? We could move."

"No you couldn't. Even if it was the apartment there would be no way I could be the reason for you having to move. It's a stupid reason."

"Is it Max? I could kick him out." Ronnie asked with a slight chuckle. I play punched him and shook my head.

"There is no way you could kick out Max. He is the best."

"Better than me?"

"Totally," I joked. He placed a hand over his heart and faked dying.
"I'm just kidding loser." I threw a pillow at him. He whipped it back, and I let out a small squeal.

"So if it's not the apartment and it's not Max...is it me?" He sounded pained asking it. I knew he wouldn't want to hear me say 'yes'. There was no way I could say 'yes' because that would never be true.

"I don't even know why you would think that." I whispered.

"Then it's settled." He said confidently louder.

"What?"

"I'm moving in with you."