Highmore Manor

The next few weeks went by faster then I could keep up.

I went to the start of the year assembly, which was more a speech from the Principal, Mr Reed and a party. I went to all my new classes and got introduced to everyone about six hundred times, ok maybe minus a hundred but it sure felt like a lot. I hung out with Callie, Alex and Ryan basically all the time; Jesse was sometimes there too. I found myself getting close to Ryan and Alex. They were just so funny and charming.

I also found out that it was going to be harder not to have to put up with Jesse then Callie had first thought, it turned out he was in my music class.

Our music class was a mixed gender, mixed year group class so there were a whole lot of people in it that I didn't know. And then again a few people I did know like Phoebe Brooks and the third girl in their little group and apparently the 'leader', Camilla Lourdes. They sat either side of Jesse trying to talk to him while he ignored them.

Monday, four weeks since the start of the term, I sat at the back of the classroom watching them with a faint smile. I had to restrain myself from laughing out loud when he put his hands over his ears at one point and then asked the teacher if he could leave because he had a headache. The teacher said no and I could hear him groan from my side of the classroom.

Class ended uneventfully from then on but I could see him struggling to concentrate. He even got a simple question about notes completely wrong. The teacher dismissed us and I walked out of the class with everyone else.

Our music class wasn't in the main building, because most of that was taking up with bedrooms, lounges and eating areas, but it was in a small freestanding building just a short walk into the woods. Apparently they put it so far away so that people could play their instruments loudly without the risk of disturbing other classes.

I was walking down the path staring at my feet when I suddenly realized Jesse was walking just in front of me, I sped up slightly so I was walking beside him.

"Nice company you've got in music, you seem to get along with them both fabulously well," I commented, he looked down at me.

"I thought I told you to stay away from me," he said. He didn't say it in a mean voice, more in a curious voice.

"I know, but I choose to ignore it for now, I'll go back to keeping my distance tomorrow," I said with a shrug.

"Why are you so insistent on talking to me?" he asked in a weird voice, cocking his head to one side.

"That's funny considering as this is the first time I've really talked to you in two weeks," I said with a laugh. "But haven't you heard people say the more you take it away, the more they'll want it," I said turning to look up at him.

"What exactly did I take away from you?" he asked looking down at me with an adorable smirk on his face.

"I don't really know, maybe the possible friendship that could have blossomed," I said making a rainbow with my hands.

"Blossomed?" Jesse asked, a laugh in his voice.

"Yes, blossomed," I nodded and grinned at him. He was staring straight ahead, trying not to smile, trying to maintain his ice-cold look. I sighed and looked away from his face.

"Why are you so insistent on hating everyone?" I asked softly. He coughed slightly and stared down at his feet.

"I don't hate everyone," he said just as softly.

"Well then why do you act like it?" I asked. He stopped walking suddenly. I turned and found him staring straight into my eyes. The breath caught in my throat momentarily. He stared at me for what seemed like forever then he sighed.

"I'm not having this conversation with you. Go back to avoiding me, Hayley," he said walking slowly past me.

"No, that's not good enough," I said turning around to follow him. He whipped around.

"I don't feel like talking to you. Conversation over," he snapped. I noticed his eyes were dark green again. I sighed and almost felt like crying. Why was I letting it get to me so much?

"Fine," I said quietly, taking my turn to walk past him. "It was good chatting to you, while it lasted." I carried on walking and didn't look back.

♥♥♥♥♥♥

Later that day I sat in the cafeteria, my head in my hands, staring at the blue-grey texture on the table. Thoughts tumbled around in my head like a snowstorm. Feelings jumbled up inside of me, a mess that would take a long time to sort out. As I thought about my feelings, something dawned on me. Jesse was right, I did seem insistent on talking to him. His guess had been right on the mark, but I don't think he realized how much I really did want to talk to him. Something about him made me drawn to him, like a magnet. I realized, with an impending sense of doom, that I was developing a crush on a boy I hardly knew and who seemed to hate me.

But then, mixed up in the Jesse snowstorm was the Ryan snowstorm. The two fronts had collided, causing a hurricane of feelings. I also had feelings for Ryan, the boy who was charming, friendly and somewhat interested in me.

I groaned to myself, thinking only I could get myself in such an annoying predicament. I was in one of the worked up moods where I used long words and smart facts.

Suddenly the table creaked under my elbows and I looked up. I found Ryan sitting on top of the table grinning down at me.

"Hayley!" he exclaimed as if he hadn't realized it was me to begin with.

"That's my name, don't wear it out," I muttered under my breath. I felt Ryan move off the table and down onto the seat beside me.

"Why are you sad?" he asked in a childish voice. I glanced to my right and found myself looking straight into two pools of blue ocean.

"I'm not sad," I said and looked away as I felt a blush cross my cheeks.

"Then what? You're normally not so - down," Ryan said searching for the right word for a few seconds.

"I've just been thinking about things a lot lately," I said looking back up at him, glad this time to find he had leaned away from me a bit; he was sitting exactly like I was, head resting on his arms.

"Well then you need something to clear your mind, and I have just the right thing," he said happily.

"I'm not in the mood," I said looking back down at the table.

"And how do you know that, I haven't even told you what we're going to do yet!" Ryan exclaimed jumping up from his seat and holding his hand out to me.

"Seriously, Ry, I can't be bothered doing anything," I said.

"Nonsense! I will not let you sit around and mope," he said grabbing my hand to drag me out of my seat. I let him pull me through the maze of corridors, out the front door and down to the car park. There were about a hundred cars parked on the big, ugly square of concrete about a minutes walk from the manor. I followed him into the little building beside the car park where you had to go to get your keys off the guard.

"Two things Ry," I said standing beside Ryan as he handed over a swipe card. "Where are we going? And why is such an ugly thing like a car park doing in the middle of a forest?" I asked.

"Well where else would we put our cars? And you'll find out when we get there," Ryan said getting his keys off the man. I rolled my eyes and thought 'Men and there cars," before following him out of the building and into the car park. He led me over to a black convertible BMW Z4 and unlocked the doors with a push of a button. I stood gaping at the car for a few minutes before Ryan realized I wasn't getting in and came over, grabbed my hand and pulled me round to the passenger's door.

"You can salivate over my car later, right now we have to get to where I'm taking you before lunch and free period ends, that's two hours," Ryan said getting in the car, starting it up and maneuvering out of the car park. We drove down the driveway slowly and then once we were outside the gates Ryan put the roof down, revved the engine and then sped off towards the village.

"Tell me where we're going or I'll call Callie and say you're kidnapping me," I said. Ryan laughed and just shook his head.

"Nope," he said.

"Come on, Ry, what if something happens? No one will know where we are," I protested. Ryan turned to look at me; he smiled my favourite crooked smile.

"Hayley, stop worrying. I told Alex I was heading out and if they can't find you then they'll suspect you're with me. Plus, nothing's going to happen, you're with me!" he grinned.

"Oh yes, and you're suddenly Superman, right?" I smiled back.

"Yup, and you're Miss Overly-paranoid Lois Lane," he said. I laughed at him and as he turned back to the road I kept looking at him, studying him.

His long blonde hair was waving in the wind, I guessed my hair was also doing the same; his clear blue eyes twinkled mischievously. He was smiling adorably, the smile turning the corners of his eyes up slightly. I was struck suddenly by how good looking he was. But I didn't really know if the sudden feeling of nervousness was for him or for wherever we were heading. We drove through the village in silence and then further on until the hills dipped down the sea level. Ryan pulled the car to a stop on the grass verge and then came around the side of the car and opened the door for me.

"My lady," he said putting on a posh voice, I took his hand and let him help me out.

"You brought me to the beach, kind sir?" I asked in the same tone.

"I did indeed," he said with a gentle smile. We walked across the bit of grass and then hit the soft sand. It slipped and moved under foot. I bent down and pulled off my Keds, which had been slowly filling with sand as I stood in it.

The beach wasn't very warm, true to England's well-known cold weather, but it wasn't exactly freezing cold either. I left my shoes at the edge of the sand, rolled up my skinny jeans and ran down towards the water.

"Watch out, it's freezing," Ryan laughed from where he was taking off his shoes. And sure enough as soon as my feet hit the ice-cold water I stifled a scream by clamping my hand over my mouth. Ryan laughed at my expression as he came down and cautiously stepped into the water, gasping slightly as the water hit him too.

"So did you bring me down here to freeze?" I asked walking over to him. Ryan raised his hands in a steeple, tapping his fingers together like the evil people in comedy movies do.

"Zat was only part of ze plan," he said in a Count von Count from Sesame Street voice. I laughed at him.

"And what was the rest of the plan?" I asked. Ryan grabbed my hand suddenly and pulled me back up the beach to his car. He ducked inside, opened the glove compartment and pulled something out.

"Close your eyes," he instructed. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at him and then did as he had told. Something hard and square fell into my hands. I opened my eyes and found my camera sitting in them.

"My camera?" I asked.

"I remember the first day we came out here, your first day, and we were driving along the cliffs. You were sad that you'd left your camera in your bag because the views were so beautiful and you needed someone to drive you out here to take the pictures. Then I was talking to Callie a few days ago and she mentioned how much you were enjoying art at the moment because you were doing photography. Something clicked inside me and I started interrogating her more and found out you were leaving your camera in the art rooms.

"So I went in there and took your camera, then went to find you. You were in the perfect mood for cheering up so that's how we got to this point right now," Ryan said; pink slightly touching his cheeks as he told his story. I glanced down at my camera in shock.

"That's - that's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me," I managed to stutter.

"I would have done anything for you," he said, my head shot up and our eyes met.

"What?" I asked.

"Hayley, I don't know how you feel but…I really like you," he said.

This was the first sincere, non-joking and kidding around conversation we had ever really had apart from when he apologized to me. It took me about 3 minutes to register what Ryan was saying, and in those three minutes we stood looking at each other in silence. My head was a hurricane again. Jesse and Ryan swirling around in a confusing mess. I liked Ryan; I liked him more now then I had earlier, but Jesse's face was nagging on my conscience, telling me to go for Jesse and not Ryan. It was just like in those movies where you have a miniature of each person on each shoulder saying 'pick me, pick me.' Big Ryan's voice broke my battle with the tiny Ryan and Jesse.

"Hayley, say something please," he pleaded in a soft voice.

"I don't know, Ryan, I really don't know," I managed say quietly. He stared at me.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" he asked.

"I've only been in England for a month, Ry, and you're an awesome friend and all but I think I should move a bit slower. Anyway, you live in America and I live in New Zealand. If we go home we'll be ages away from each other," I said.

"Callie and Alex manage," he said, disappointment and anger flashed across his eyes.

"Ry, I'm just not ready for a boyfriend over here yet. Maybe sometime a little bit later on in the year, we've still got half a term left, plus another 3 terms of the school year," I said. He sagged his shoulder and looked down at his feet and suddenly I felt really bad for hurting him like this. I realized I'd only been thinking about my own feelings.

How very selfish of me.
Now how to make it up to him?

"It's ok, Hayls," he said still looking at the ground.

"Ry, I'm sorry," I said softly. Ryan nodded and looked up at me with a small smile.

"It's ok. Now let's take some pictures, that's what we came here for right?" he said, grinning suddenly. I looked at him suspiciously. "Seriously, Hayls, it's fine. We make great friends anyway," he said grabbing the camera off me. "Look at the scenery darling, absolutely stunning," he said prancing off in a stereotypical gay fashion designer voice, snapping pictures at random things. I stared after him.

Man, that boy bounces back fast. I thought and then shook my head and ran after him and my very expensive camera.