Radio Man

“And welcome back, that was The Smashing Pumpkins with Landslide. One of my personal favourites. Just a beautiful song. And if you’ve heard it before but differently, that’s because The Dixie Chicks also had a go at remaking it. Just beautiful lyrics to that one. Ok and Bryar is now laughing at me because. What? Oh. Ha ha. I’ve apparently lost. My umm. My tea bags. If you older people out there get me. Ok back to the point, come and give us a ring on 1800-555-435-talk, but for now. Here is The Pussycat Dolls with Bottle Pop. Tasty,”

Frank is laughing because Mikey is laughing. And the reason Mikey is laughing, besides the fact he’s about as high as anyone can get and he’s been drinking as well, is because he’s on the phone. And he’s telling Frank to shush. Although it comes out a lot different then that.

And Frank might be a bit high and maybe a tad bitdrunk tipsy. Not much though.

“Hushies Frankie! Shush! They. They’re talking. Shushing now!” Mikey stares at Frank wide eyed and a big grin playing across his face.

“You’re so. Fucked,” Frank can’t stop laughing. It’s hurting so bad he thinks he might pee himself.

Although he doesn’t know what that has to do with pain. Peeing does not equal pain. Nor does pain equal peeing. He doesn’t think so anyway. He’ll have to Google it.

Google has everything. It’s amazing.

“Hey Frankie. What’s this?” Frank stops laughing for a split second and almost shits himself he’s that scared at what Mikey is talking about.

And that he thinks is a fact. Scared equals shitting of the pants.

“NOTHING!” Frank tries to lunge over the coffee table and land on the opposite couch and stop Mikey from reading his open diary!

He doesn’t remember leaving it out, but he must’ve when Mikey knocked at the door earlier. Fuck you Mikeyway. Fuck you. Fuck fuck fuck.

But as Frank goes to lunge, his foot is tucked under him, so it gets stuck in behind the couch cushion, causing him to not even make it past the couch. The way he lands is different. It’s not exactly comfortable.

One leg is still on the couch, the foot of it tucked in behind the cushion, while the rest of his body is belly down hanging off the couch, with his face chin first into the carpet. His arms are out stretched in front of him.

Not exactly a seating position. Maybe a yoga or palati one though. Frank could never do them before. But he can now.

“Ughhhhh. Owww,” Frank moans while Mikey laughs.

Scratch that. Mikey isn’t laughing. He’s screeching, all the while still having the phone pressed to one ear.

“You dick!” He manages to sqawk out. Frank thinks Mikey once wanted to be a bird.

He got his wish.

“So anyway. Blah blah blah. Yadda yadda. And well. Frank. I. I knew you liked my brother and all but this. This is fucking holy shit material,” Mikey is now looking at Frank with his diary in his hands.

it’s not a damn diary! Jesus. It’s a thingy that I write in to express my manliness.

“Auwww,” Is all that Frank manages to say. He doesn’t know why he exactly auww’s.

But it makes Mikey pull a good face and Frank can feel the laughter bubble inside of him.

“You totally like love my brother. Ewwww!” Mikey is off again. Laughing and carrying on.

God it was like he’s 6 or something. Wouldn’t surprise Frank in the least.

“Welcome back. And we have a caller from Belleview! Woo. Home town baby. Ha ha ok Bob. Sorry. Hello, state thy name and present your question,” Frank giggles a little.

“Max. Een,” Frank’s eyes just about burst out of his head as he hears Mikey’s voice not only from his mouth in front of him, but also through the radio speakers.

“NO!” Frank screams but Mikey just lifts his foot and it kind of some how jams itself in between Frank’s legs and he has no choice but to stop all movement and squeak.

“Maxeen? That’s a very. Nice name for a guy. Right?”

“Yes yes. I know, hurry and tell me to talk. I got something good,” Mikey can’t stop jiggling, he’s laughing so quietly it’s taking itself out on his body.

“Oh. Ok. Haha ok then. Umm. Bryar shut up. Haha. Ok. So. Go ahead and talk Maxeen?”

“Ok. So. Listen carefully,”

“Ok. Listening,” Frank can tell Gerard is smiling. He can hear it in his voice.

“Right. Gee. Frank has a massive crush on you and he lo-” Frank holds the cord to the phone in his hand, eyes wide, mouth open and eyebrows risen.

“You fucking ASSHOLE!” Frank all but shouts at his now not best friend.

“Oh. Ummm. That was. My. Brother. Playing a practical joke people. Let’s. How about we go to a song. Remember to call. 1800-555-435-talk,”

Mikey is laughing so much, but Frank just stands there. The ultimate feeling to either bash the shit out of Mikey or to cry his eyes out in humiliation rush over him in massive waves.

“Mikey. Get out. Now,”

“Oh come on dude. He wont think I’m serious,” Mikey is still laughing a little, but he calms down when he realises Frank is serious.

“Get the fuck out now,”

“Sorry sorry. Jesus. Someone is on their period this week,”

Frank slams the door in Mikey’s face.

Fuck you Mikey. Fuck you so much.

Frank sits on the couch and cries. Cries while writing down in his book of expression manliness of what Mikey just did.