Six Days, Sixteen Hours
guilt
They laid curled up under the pale sheets. Frank ran his fingers slowly through her hair, blonder in the late afternoon sunlight that fell onto them through the window.
She'd stopped crying,or maybe she'd finished all the tears in her, and leant against his chest,dragging her fingers absent-mindedly along it.
"I know it still hurts," Frank managed to whisper.
She slowly nodded,swallowing through her dry throat. With what felt like the biggest effort ever she dragged herself up and looked into his eyes. She leant down slowly and brushed her lips on his once more, before sliding off the bed. Frank watched as she pulled her clothes on again,her hair falling in front of her face as she bent down. He managed to get dressed again too. And followed through into the sitting room,where she was filling up a kettle at the sink. Just as he was wondering wether he should say something, there was a banging at the front door,and some shouts. Erin spun round and looked towards it. Her eyes met Franks with an expression of confusion,but also slightly apprehensive. There was something in that voice that Frank recognised. He walked throught he hall and unlocked the door.
Val stood,her chest heaving,her eyes as red and glassy as Erins,if not more. She stood,her wavy brown hair catching the glow of the sunlight,her expression murderous.
Frank took a step back,and noticed Ryan standing close behind glaring too,next to Michael who was pale,paler than usual.
A slap as Vals hand connected with the side of Franks face. He took a step back,not expecting something like this. Val had obviously expressed what she was failing to put into words.
"You did this," she seethed.
"I..what?" frowned Frank.
"YOU DID THIS! THIS WOULDN'T OF HAPPENED IF..IF.." another slap, Frank brought a hand to his now sore cheek.
"What the..CHILL!" he found himself shouting,this time taking a couple of steps back.
"Don't you.." Ryan started,but was stopped by Michael grabbing his arm.
"I don't.." stuttered Frank. He realised that Erin was now standing close behind him.
"Dough,fucking dough," Val spat, "she was out buying fucking dough."
A sudden wave of realisation rushed through Frank,and his eyes widened. The dough..if he'd of just remembered to tell..
"What dough?" whispered Erin from behind him.
Val seemed unable to answer,maybe the words were pain. They were pain to Frank who felt the guilt continue to flow through his every particle.
Ryan stepped forwards. "Your friend here took a message from Val this morning. She'd bought the dough. There was no need for Julie to go out today. That's all this cunt had to do." He then pulled Val towards him and started to walk away, her body visibly shaking with tears again.
Frank turned to look at Erin,whose mouth hung slightly open, her teary eyes wide. She looked at him for a brief moment. And then brought her hands up and buried her face in them. Frank tried to touch her shoulder, but she pulled away. And with one last glance at his hazel eyes she stepped out of the door and towards Ryans car,where he was waiting for her.
Frank felt his eyes burn as he watched the red car pull away and dissapear down the street.
***
Frank flicked the end of his cigarette gently with his thumb and watched the ashes fall. Next to him Gee heaving a couple of bags into the hold of the big tour bus,the sun catching in his dark hair. He looked over at Frank once he'd finished heaving.
"Pull off that glum look,will you?"
Frank didn't answer,but took another drag. Michael hopped off the bus and joined the two that leant up against it.
Gee shook his head at him, "I'm not looking forward to this trip if he's going to be like this for the next month."
Michael looked at Frank who didn't meet his gaze. He put his hands on Franks shoulders and shook him slightly.
"It wasn't your fault."
"It was." muttered Frank,still staring at the pavement.
"It could of happened to anyone."
"I fucked up."
Michael paused for a moment.
"You believe in fate,right?"
Frank nodded but kept his eyes on the ground. Michael continued.
"Well,it was fate that you met Erin that night.." Michael paused. "..and I know this doesn't sound quite as nice as that..but don't you think that maybe..the accident was fate too?"
Frank suddenly looked up,a mix of repulsion and astonishment at the idea on his face. But he said nothing,and Michael and Gee waited in silence. Franks features softened,and with a sigh he nodded slightly.
Gee came up and hugged him. They held eachother for a few minutes until Robert stuck his head out of the bus and told them it was time to leave. So with a last glance at the town where it had all happened, they climbed on and left,for more towns,for other towns, but none would ever be like this one.
***
It was a month later that Frank stumbled up the stairs onto the tour bus. He knew he felt high because of whatever stuff Gee had passed him before the show, but it didn't take away the heavy feeling at the bottom of his stomach he'd been having for the past month. He slumped onto his bunkbed,and lay there until he thought he could open his eyes again. He suddenly felt a buzz underneath his foot. Confused he sat up, and saw his phone lying at the end of the bed. He groggily picked it up and frowned at the screen. One new message. He opened it. "You have received one new vocal message. To listen to the message, dial.." Frank quickly dialled it and held the phone to his ear. He frowned trying to concentrate on what the woman was saying and ignoring the drunken choruses from outside the bus. Then a familiar voice spoke,and his heart skipped a beat.
"Umm,hey Frank,this is Erin..I,err, I did get the fifty messages you left me,thanks.."
Her voice sounded as if she was smiling.
"I just..didn't feel like returning them then. l know you understand. Look, I um, I'd like to meet up again..not now,"
she hastily corrected herself,
"In a while, give me..give me a few weeks,maybe months..I just don't want it to all end here..I hope you don't either.."
Frank wished he was there with her now..
"We like..need to catch up on stuff.."
She paused a moment and Frank could hear her take her breath,
"Okay, I just need to know if you feel the same way. God, this message sounds awkward,"
Frank knew she was smiling again and smiled too.
"Well, hope your enjoying your tour, answer me if you want.."
Tere was a silence, and if he hadn't of known her as well as he did he'd of thought the message ended there. But,as he had predicted,she spoke again,
"Oh and..I forgive you, for what you didn't do."
"To cancel this message,press.."
Fank hung up, and still smiling laid the phone on the table beside him, thenrolled over and fell into the first peaceful sleep he'd had in a month.
She'd stopped crying,or maybe she'd finished all the tears in her, and leant against his chest,dragging her fingers absent-mindedly along it.
"I know it still hurts," Frank managed to whisper.
She slowly nodded,swallowing through her dry throat. With what felt like the biggest effort ever she dragged herself up and looked into his eyes. She leant down slowly and brushed her lips on his once more, before sliding off the bed. Frank watched as she pulled her clothes on again,her hair falling in front of her face as she bent down. He managed to get dressed again too. And followed through into the sitting room,where she was filling up a kettle at the sink. Just as he was wondering wether he should say something, there was a banging at the front door,and some shouts. Erin spun round and looked towards it. Her eyes met Franks with an expression of confusion,but also slightly apprehensive. There was something in that voice that Frank recognised. He walked throught he hall and unlocked the door.
Val stood,her chest heaving,her eyes as red and glassy as Erins,if not more. She stood,her wavy brown hair catching the glow of the sunlight,her expression murderous.
Frank took a step back,and noticed Ryan standing close behind glaring too,next to Michael who was pale,paler than usual.
A slap as Vals hand connected with the side of Franks face. He took a step back,not expecting something like this. Val had obviously expressed what she was failing to put into words.
"You did this," she seethed.
"I..what?" frowned Frank.
"YOU DID THIS! THIS WOULDN'T OF HAPPENED IF..IF.." another slap, Frank brought a hand to his now sore cheek.
"What the..CHILL!" he found himself shouting,this time taking a couple of steps back.
"Don't you.." Ryan started,but was stopped by Michael grabbing his arm.
"I don't.." stuttered Frank. He realised that Erin was now standing close behind him.
"Dough,fucking dough," Val spat, "she was out buying fucking dough."
A sudden wave of realisation rushed through Frank,and his eyes widened. The dough..if he'd of just remembered to tell..
"What dough?" whispered Erin from behind him.
Val seemed unable to answer,maybe the words were pain. They were pain to Frank who felt the guilt continue to flow through his every particle.
Ryan stepped forwards. "Your friend here took a message from Val this morning. She'd bought the dough. There was no need for Julie to go out today. That's all this cunt had to do." He then pulled Val towards him and started to walk away, her body visibly shaking with tears again.
Frank turned to look at Erin,whose mouth hung slightly open, her teary eyes wide. She looked at him for a brief moment. And then brought her hands up and buried her face in them. Frank tried to touch her shoulder, but she pulled away. And with one last glance at his hazel eyes she stepped out of the door and towards Ryans car,where he was waiting for her.
Frank felt his eyes burn as he watched the red car pull away and dissapear down the street.
***
Frank flicked the end of his cigarette gently with his thumb and watched the ashes fall. Next to him Gee heaving a couple of bags into the hold of the big tour bus,the sun catching in his dark hair. He looked over at Frank once he'd finished heaving.
"Pull off that glum look,will you?"
Frank didn't answer,but took another drag. Michael hopped off the bus and joined the two that leant up against it.
Gee shook his head at him, "I'm not looking forward to this trip if he's going to be like this for the next month."
Michael looked at Frank who didn't meet his gaze. He put his hands on Franks shoulders and shook him slightly.
"It wasn't your fault."
"It was." muttered Frank,still staring at the pavement.
"It could of happened to anyone."
"I fucked up."
Michael paused for a moment.
"You believe in fate,right?"
Frank nodded but kept his eyes on the ground. Michael continued.
"Well,it was fate that you met Erin that night.." Michael paused. "..and I know this doesn't sound quite as nice as that..but don't you think that maybe..the accident was fate too?"
Frank suddenly looked up,a mix of repulsion and astonishment at the idea on his face. But he said nothing,and Michael and Gee waited in silence. Franks features softened,and with a sigh he nodded slightly.
Gee came up and hugged him. They held eachother for a few minutes until Robert stuck his head out of the bus and told them it was time to leave. So with a last glance at the town where it had all happened, they climbed on and left,for more towns,for other towns, but none would ever be like this one.
***
It was a month later that Frank stumbled up the stairs onto the tour bus. He knew he felt high because of whatever stuff Gee had passed him before the show, but it didn't take away the heavy feeling at the bottom of his stomach he'd been having for the past month. He slumped onto his bunkbed,and lay there until he thought he could open his eyes again. He suddenly felt a buzz underneath his foot. Confused he sat up, and saw his phone lying at the end of the bed. He groggily picked it up and frowned at the screen. One new message. He opened it. "You have received one new vocal message. To listen to the message, dial.." Frank quickly dialled it and held the phone to his ear. He frowned trying to concentrate on what the woman was saying and ignoring the drunken choruses from outside the bus. Then a familiar voice spoke,and his heart skipped a beat.
"Umm,hey Frank,this is Erin..I,err, I did get the fifty messages you left me,thanks.."
Her voice sounded as if she was smiling.
"I just..didn't feel like returning them then. l know you understand. Look, I um, I'd like to meet up again..not now,"
she hastily corrected herself,
"In a while, give me..give me a few weeks,maybe months..I just don't want it to all end here..I hope you don't either.."
Frank wished he was there with her now..
"We like..need to catch up on stuff.."
She paused a moment and Frank could hear her take her breath,
"Okay, I just need to know if you feel the same way. God, this message sounds awkward,"
Frank knew she was smiling again and smiled too.
"Well, hope your enjoying your tour, answer me if you want.."
Tere was a silence, and if he hadn't of known her as well as he did he'd of thought the message ended there. But,as he had predicted,she spoke again,
"Oh and..I forgive you, for what you didn't do."
"To cancel this message,press.."
Fank hung up, and still smiling laid the phone on the table beside him, thenrolled over and fell into the first peaceful sleep he'd had in a month.