Alone This Holiday

A week passed, and I still hadn’t gotten the balls together to talk to Anna about where our relationship is at. But when I stepped in the door I was met with her voice,” I fucking hate you Brian Haner,” Anna hissed. A book was launched at me, and connected with my chest. Glancing around the room I checked to see if there was anything noticeably wrong, but I couldn’t spot anything. “What the fuck are you looking around for?”

“For the reason you’re pissed off,” The thunder outside echoed inside the room a little, and the rain pelted down harder on the roof. Sighing I sat down on the couch.

Anna pointed to her stomach, and said, “Look here, that’s where the problem is,”

“What?” Eyebrows raised I glanced at her, my head shaking a little. “What do you mean?”

Slapping her hand against her forehead, Anna answered, “Fourth time I’ll ever tell you this…” Suddenly I knew what she was going on about, my heart skipped a beat. “I’m pregnant, Brian,”

“That’s great!” I celebrated, hugging Anna and kissing the side of her head. Then I noticed she wasn’t celebrating, nor did she appear to be happy with the situation. “Anna?”

“I can’t have another one, Brian. I can’t do it, I can’t go through it all again,” Tears streaked her light skin, Anna started to shake as she cried. Sighing I stepped forward to her, taking her hands, then making her look up to me gently. “Brian, please don’t make me go through it again,”

“Go through what?” My voice was soft, soothing and the only thing that would mask my confusion as my face would’ve showed it clearly.

Sniffling she answered, “What if something happens again? I can’t sit in the hospital for weeks on end while we wait to find out if the baby is dead. It was too hard,”

“I know,” Agreeing I kissed her forehead. “I’ll be okay with whatever you choose, Anna,” I lied, I didn’t want her to terminate the pregnancy, it was a blessing in my opinion to be expecting another baby. Even when I was little I wanted to have plenty of kids, sure I didn’t expect to have six kids already. But the thought of adding another baby to our family was something I really wanted to do. But it wasn’t my body that would go through it, it wasn’t my choice. Anna was the one who would have to make the choice as to whether or not she continues with the pregnancy.

“I mean,” She started sitting down on the couch. “we’re divorcing. How can we put seven kids through it? The baby will never know what it’s like to have a proper home. As it is Scotty will be the only one to remember it at all,”

“About that, Anna; I don’t want to d-divorce,” Stammering the words they fell from my mouth, she looking into my eyes and for the first time in a long time I didn’t know what she was thinking. Even when we were younger, I always knew what she was thinking or feeling just by the look in her eyes.

“You’re the one who told me you wanted out of this relationship,” Anna yelled, standing up and facing away from me. “Why do you keep on doing this to me, Brian? You can’t keep on throwing my life around when it pleases you,”

“Anna I don’t want to live without you. I thought it was what was right, but it’s not. It’s not the way it should be. We belong together,” I insisted.

“Brian if you ever hurt me again I will not hesitate in letting my brothers kill you,” She smirked, turning to face me then kissing my lips gently. I smiled into the kiss, and felt the familiar feeling of her hands sliding my shirt up and trying to take if off me. She would’ve had her way with me if it wasn’t interrupted by Scotty running into the living room.

“Dad, Mum!” We turned to him; the panic in his voice was one that startled both of us. “We don’t have the Christmas tree up yet!” He told us, his eyes wide with tears brimming them. “Aren’t we having Christmas this year?”

“Of course we are, bud,” I smiled. “How about we do that today? After lunch though, cause I’m pretty sure you want a peanut butter sandwich by now,” Grinning he nodded and held out his small hand for me to take. I took his hand, before he started to pull me to the kitchen.

“Now Dad we have to make sure all the little pieces are at the top of the tree, otherwise one of the small kids will eat it, and die,” He said bluntly as I picked him up, placing him on the bench. Once his sandwich was made I stood there while he ate and told me random things about the Christmas tree.

When he was finished I took him and Aedan to the mall, where they picked a white Christmas tree. Before I knew it we had enough tinsel and decorations for all of the Avenged Sevenfold family, and some more. But the boys insisted we needed it all, so we bought it, and then went home to set it up.

Several hours later the boys declared the Christmas tree to be done, Anna joined us in the backroom when the boys flicked the lights on. Bright coloured light glowed in the slightly dark room, and a smile adorned each of my sons beautiful faces.

Anna leaned over to me, kissing my lips gently before whispering, “Seven kids, Brian. We’re going to need a bigger tree next year,”