It's Our Time to Shine
Haven't Seen You Smile In A While.
Bert and I were still standing next to each other down the basement inside the laundry room with absolutely nothing to do.
We were both fixated on the rotation of the washing machine’s drum that was spinning around and around while making all of our clothes inside soaking wet.
It was supposed to do that.
“Hey, Bert… Can I ask you something?”, I suddenly asked, almost whispering.
“Yeah, sure – shoot”, he replied.
“Earlier, in the living room where you, me and the guys were sitting, why did you get all weird when Quinn mentioned the name Kate?”
An awkward silence occurred and the whole room seemed colder at that point.
Bert didn’t say a thing and didn’t answer my question.
I could hardly even hear him breathe.
“Bert?”
He just stood there, staring into the concrete wall with a serious look upon his face.
Clearly he wasn’t feeling comfortable at all.
“Bert!”, I repeated, this time in a firm tone.
I wanted an answer and I wanted it now.
“Yeah. I don’t feel like talking about that right now. I just wanna do the laundry, okay?”
“What do you mean? Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”
“’Cause… It’s just that…”, Bert began as he now sank down to the floor with his back against the wall and his feet up to his chin.
“I don’t know if I heard correctly or not, but did my mom tell you about my first girlfriend?
“Yeah…”, I said, almost whispering.
“She was my first love, one of the best girls I’d ever known. Back in 2004, we’d been dating for years and at one point, we got engaged. I got to know that she was carrying my baby, but just one day… She OD’d. Her name was Kate…”
My heart stopped beating.
Kate; the first girlfriend Bert ever had.
Kate; the girl Bert was engaged to.
Kate; the girl that was carrying Bert’s 8-month-old baby.
Kate; the girl that OD’d at the age of 23 and died.
I sunk down to the floor next to Bert, pulling my knees up to my chin as I took a deep breath, wondering what to say.
I kept my silence while hearing him continue.
“Ever since Kate died, I’ve always had an empty place in my heart. But when you came along and entered my life, the lives of all of us, the emptiness started to fill up again, something I thought it never would. It’s just… I don’t know. There’s just something about you that reminds me so much of Kate.”
“I- I’m sorry”, I stuttered, completely blown away at Bert’s unexpected confession.
“No – don’t be! It’s not your fault that I’ve got personal issues. I care too much about you to let that inflict you. I’m the one who should apologize, not you.”
“Do you still love her?”, I asked with a voice so low it was hardly hearable.
“No, Lina, I don’t love her – I love-”
Suddenly, Bert was interrupted by the washing machine’s centrifuge.
Everything was shaking caused by the vibrations coming from the washing machine and the entire room was now being filled with loud rumblings, making it impossible to hear what he was saying.
I gave him a weird smile as it kept on going as I totally forgot what he was about to say.
“I think it’s done soon!”
“What?!”, Bert yelled, leaning over at me to speak into my ear.
“The washing machine’s centrifuge – I think it’s done soon!”, I repeated.
“Yeah, I think so too!”
As we were yelling to each other, trying to drown out the washing machine’s loud noise, we practically had to scream into each other’s ears.
“Got any plans afterwards?”, he then asked, again leaning over at me.
I felt his cheek softly brushing against mine, feeling his three-day-old beard that tickled me.
“Besides hanging up the laundry? No, not really. You?”, I replied.
“Nah, nothin´ special. Uhm… Since the guys are out and doing their own thing and all, wanna do something just the two of us?”
“Sure, I’d like that.”
“I could show you Orem if you wanna? It’s a pretty shitty place, a shithole actually, but since we’re leavin´ tomorrow morning, maybe you’d like to see what it has to offer?”
“Yeah! Seeing where you grew up as a kid would be nice”, I said, looking him straight in the eyes.
“Awesome!”, Bert responded, giving me a smile as he tucked a chunk of his black, long hair behind his right ear.
At that point, the washing machine’s centrifuge stopped and the both of us got up from the cold concrete floor, emptied the washing machine and started sorting out the clothes while putting them into separate baskets.
“Oh, sorry!”, I burst out as the both of us reached for the same tee in the pile of clothes that was on the floor.
“No, my bad.”
“Whose tee is it?”
“I dunno, let’s see”, Bert answered, before he turned the tee inside out to look at the print.
“’Torched ogg solten’. What’s this?”
“Tørst og sulten”, I laughed.
“Is it Norwegian?”
“Yeah, it means ‘thirsty and hungry’. Look at the front.”
“Oh, Hove!”, he burst out as he saw the red logo that was printed on the front of the tee.
“You got it when you worked at The Hove Festival?”
“Yep, it was my working outfit when I worked in the bar”, I giggled.
“You worked in the bar?”
“Yeah. Didn’t I tell you about that?”, I asked, almost shocked by the fact that I hadn’t.
“No, you didn’t.”
“Well, I was a volunteer at the festival and worked there for three days. Because of that, I got a free festival ticket valid for the whole week ‘cause I couldn’t afford one myself at that time.”
“Fuck, if I’d known you were selling beer, I would’ve come by and bought one!”, Bert said disappointed as he took the last piece of clothing in his basket.
“You didn’t know me then, so it would’ve been impossible anyway.”
“Yeah, but still…”
And just then, Bert gazed over at me, smiling a smile that I hadn’t seen before and looked me in the eyes.
His smile said a million words and his eyes were sparkling like as if the sun was shining straight through them.
He opened his mouth and spoke words that made my heart feel like a warm summer day;
“You’re great, you know what…?”
We were both fixated on the rotation of the washing machine’s drum that was spinning around and around while making all of our clothes inside soaking wet.
It was supposed to do that.
“Hey, Bert… Can I ask you something?”, I suddenly asked, almost whispering.
“Yeah, sure – shoot”, he replied.
“Earlier, in the living room where you, me and the guys were sitting, why did you get all weird when Quinn mentioned the name Kate?”
An awkward silence occurred and the whole room seemed colder at that point.
Bert didn’t say a thing and didn’t answer my question.
I could hardly even hear him breathe.
“Bert?”
He just stood there, staring into the concrete wall with a serious look upon his face.
Clearly he wasn’t feeling comfortable at all.
“Bert!”, I repeated, this time in a firm tone.
I wanted an answer and I wanted it now.
“Yeah. I don’t feel like talking about that right now. I just wanna do the laundry, okay?”
“What do you mean? Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”
“’Cause… It’s just that…”, Bert began as he now sank down to the floor with his back against the wall and his feet up to his chin.
“I don’t know if I heard correctly or not, but did my mom tell you about my first girlfriend?
“Yeah…”, I said, almost whispering.
“She was my first love, one of the best girls I’d ever known. Back in 2004, we’d been dating for years and at one point, we got engaged. I got to know that she was carrying my baby, but just one day… She OD’d. Her name was Kate…”
My heart stopped beating.
Kate; the first girlfriend Bert ever had.
Kate; the girl Bert was engaged to.
Kate; the girl that was carrying Bert’s 8-month-old baby.
Kate; the girl that OD’d at the age of 23 and died.
I sunk down to the floor next to Bert, pulling my knees up to my chin as I took a deep breath, wondering what to say.
I kept my silence while hearing him continue.
“Ever since Kate died, I’ve always had an empty place in my heart. But when you came along and entered my life, the lives of all of us, the emptiness started to fill up again, something I thought it never would. It’s just… I don’t know. There’s just something about you that reminds me so much of Kate.”
“I- I’m sorry”, I stuttered, completely blown away at Bert’s unexpected confession.
“No – don’t be! It’s not your fault that I’ve got personal issues. I care too much about you to let that inflict you. I’m the one who should apologize, not you.”
“Do you still love her?”, I asked with a voice so low it was hardly hearable.
“No, Lina, I don’t love her – I love-”
Suddenly, Bert was interrupted by the washing machine’s centrifuge.
Everything was shaking caused by the vibrations coming from the washing machine and the entire room was now being filled with loud rumblings, making it impossible to hear what he was saying.
I gave him a weird smile as it kept on going as I totally forgot what he was about to say.
“I think it’s done soon!”
“What?!”, Bert yelled, leaning over at me to speak into my ear.
“The washing machine’s centrifuge – I think it’s done soon!”, I repeated.
“Yeah, I think so too!”
As we were yelling to each other, trying to drown out the washing machine’s loud noise, we practically had to scream into each other’s ears.
“Got any plans afterwards?”, he then asked, again leaning over at me.
I felt his cheek softly brushing against mine, feeling his three-day-old beard that tickled me.
“Besides hanging up the laundry? No, not really. You?”, I replied.
“Nah, nothin´ special. Uhm… Since the guys are out and doing their own thing and all, wanna do something just the two of us?”
“Sure, I’d like that.”
“I could show you Orem if you wanna? It’s a pretty shitty place, a shithole actually, but since we’re leavin´ tomorrow morning, maybe you’d like to see what it has to offer?”
“Yeah! Seeing where you grew up as a kid would be nice”, I said, looking him straight in the eyes.
“Awesome!”, Bert responded, giving me a smile as he tucked a chunk of his black, long hair behind his right ear.
At that point, the washing machine’s centrifuge stopped and the both of us got up from the cold concrete floor, emptied the washing machine and started sorting out the clothes while putting them into separate baskets.
“Oh, sorry!”, I burst out as the both of us reached for the same tee in the pile of clothes that was on the floor.
“No, my bad.”
“Whose tee is it?”
“I dunno, let’s see”, Bert answered, before he turned the tee inside out to look at the print.
“’Torched ogg solten’. What’s this?”
“Tørst og sulten”, I laughed.
“Is it Norwegian?”
“Yeah, it means ‘thirsty and hungry’. Look at the front.”
“Oh, Hove!”, he burst out as he saw the red logo that was printed on the front of the tee.
“You got it when you worked at The Hove Festival?”
“Yep, it was my working outfit when I worked in the bar”, I giggled.
“You worked in the bar?”
“Yeah. Didn’t I tell you about that?”, I asked, almost shocked by the fact that I hadn’t.
“No, you didn’t.”
“Well, I was a volunteer at the festival and worked there for three days. Because of that, I got a free festival ticket valid for the whole week ‘cause I couldn’t afford one myself at that time.”
“Fuck, if I’d known you were selling beer, I would’ve come by and bought one!”, Bert said disappointed as he took the last piece of clothing in his basket.
“You didn’t know me then, so it would’ve been impossible anyway.”
“Yeah, but still…”
And just then, Bert gazed over at me, smiling a smile that I hadn’t seen before and looked me in the eyes.
His smile said a million words and his eyes were sparkling like as if the sun was shining straight through them.
He opened his mouth and spoke words that made my heart feel like a warm summer day;
“You’re great, you know what…?”
♠ ♠ ♠
wow, this was a ~touchy update.a lot of secrets were revealed now, don't ya think? ;D
well, i'll come back to kate when the time is right.
but for now; what do guys think of the update? (:
xo,
lina.