Diaries of a Nine-year Old

"Mimi!" Dad banged harder on the door; I looked towards it, and before I knew it Mom had pushed me hard against the wall her hands on the gun which was trapped between me and her. She was heavy, but too drunk to be strong. I tried to pull the gun out of her hand forgetting my finger on the trigger. It went off, the loudest bang I'd ever heard in my life; the one that'll echo through my lifetime.

I looked up at her face, her mouth hanging open, her grip letting loose of the gun; she backed away with her hands clutched to her stomach.

"Mimi!" Dad was shouting from behind the door.

"Mi…" Mom tried to say my name, but she couldn’t. I looked at the gun horrifically. She fell back on the ground, the back of her head slamming on the edge of the table in the middle of the living room, she immediately passed out.

Dad banged harder on the door. I was shaking, I killed my mom. Things where very confusing till I grabbed the keys from Mom's hands and unlocked the door for Dad.

"I heard a gunshot! Are you ok?" He grabbed my face with both his hands looking at me in panic.

"Daddy…" I broke down crying "I didn’t mean to … I swear" I rambled not knowing what to say. His eyes widened. He looked past me at the living room, and his hands fell off my face.

"Daddy!" I grabbed onto his hands pleadingly in panic, and he flinched back. I panic more. He walked past me and into the living room.

"What have you done?" He stared in shock.

"She was gonna call the cops!" I cried, "She was gonna take you away from me!"

"So you killed her?" He barked. I cringed back.

"I didn’t mean to…" I sobbed. "It was an accident, she pushed me against the wall and I tried to pull the gun_"

"Mimi…" He looked at me oddly; he'd never looked at me like that before. It killed me. He got up and walked towards the kitchen. I was frozen in my place until I heard him dial the same three numbers on the phone. I ran towards the kitchen.

"Dad? What are you doing?" he ignored me.

"Dad!" I raised my voice, but he still ignored me.

"Daddy, please." I begged, but still he ignored me. I was scared, I was panicked, and I was hurt that he would do this. I don’t know how I gathered the courage to do it, but I did. I raised the gun at my Dad. The man that loved me, and the man I would have done anything for.

"Dad, please put the phone down." My voice had changed, he noticed, and he turned around.

"Mimi?" He gave me the same look Mom had given me when I raised the gun at her. "What are you doing?"

"Put the phone down!" I raised my voice impatiently. He did as told.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked in disbelieve. "You just killed your Mother! Isn't that enough?"

"I only did it because I love you, you should know that!" I yelled.

"You're crazy!" he said, and he looked at me like I was. "Put the gun down." He said giving me a demeaning look, and picking up the phone again.

"Don’t you love me?" I cried in heartbreak, and he scoffed.

"Mimi … he doesn’t love you… he was just using you!" My mom's voice rang in my ear. My head spun. "Mimi I do love you." Images of her pleading face. Images of her dying face, and for a second I felt nothing and thought of nothing. I raised the gun back up, aimed it at him, and pulled the trigger. He said nothing, and he did nothing. He fell immediately down on the floor leaving me to face a white kitchen-cabinet splattered with blood and bits of his brain.

"Mimi… Mimi… honey…" It echoed in my head as I regained myself from memory.

I was tired, and I was ready to fall asleep. I needed warmth; it was the only thing that gave me comfort. I plugged the tub, and turned on the water on a warm level. I felt the water seep in through my clothes my skin rising into a comforting feeling of Goosebumps. I lay back down in the bathtub, and closed my eyes savoring the last feeling of comfort. I wrapped my arms around myself and turned my head to my side, my cheek touching the warm water.

"I'm sorry" I whisper again, was I forgiven?

If god really had a purpose for me in life, then now I know that I have failed him, but was I really the typical person you'd meet every day? I'll leave that for you to decide.

It was only a few minutes later that I remember falling asleep for the last time...

The End