Beyond Belief

Frank

I woke up with the worst headache of all time. Mikey dearest got me so smashed last night. With a pounding head I sat up in bed. Worst mistake ever. I whipped the blankets off of me, tripped out of my bed and dashed to the bathroom; I almost didn’t make it but I yanked up the toilet seat just in time for me to empty the contence of my stomach. After throwing up all of my internal organs I stood up, flushed the toilet and washed out my mouth. I swore to myself never ever to drink again. I opened my cabinet and took out a bottle of aspirin, twisting open the cap and pouring four tablets out into my hand and took them dry. I glanced at the wall clock internally grimacing; I had to be at work in an hour.

With a sigh a walked back into my bedroom. I stumbled into a pair of faded blue jeans and put on an old Black Flag tee shirt, missing the neck hole twice. Lazily I put on socks only to realize ten minutes later that they didn’t match. After putting on new socks I dug through a pile of shoes, most of which I didn’t even wear, and slide on a pair of black and gray checkered Vans. I tripped on air on my way to my fridge, ate some toast, and tripped on air on my way to the door. The elevator is still broke, so I took the stairs, missed the last step and landed on my face. I kicked open the stair well door and walked into the lobby. And right when I thought it couldn’t get any worse Brian practically skipped up to me with this huge fucking smile on his face,

“Why hello, Mr. Iero! Great day today, isn’t it?”

No amount of words could express how much I wanted to beat the living shit out of him. I swallowed dryly, trying to suppress the urge to murder the bastard.

“Yeah,” I choked out, “It’s the best day of my life.” I smiled at him.

“Well, you keep on having a good day, Mr. Iero.” he put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently. I held back my want to throw up again.

“I will” and with that I raced out of there so fast his head probably spun. For the first time in my life I actually wanted to go to work.

Instead of walking, I haled a taxi. The man in the cab was slightly scary and really dirty, his dark brown hair looked like a family of sewer rats had made a little nest in it. I told the man where to go and I looked out the window. He let me out about a block away from my job since the traffic was so bad. I weaved through the hordes of people and made it to work with ten minutes to spare.

“Iero, you’re early. That’s good.” my boss said, looking up from a pile of CDs. I nodded and walked up to the counter.

“I’m going to leave early today, so you have to lock up…and I don’t want any lip about it! No I have to do this, I have to do that. You whine, you’re fired!” he yelled while pointing his fat, stubby finger at me.

Can this day possibly get any worse?, I thought.

After about four hours of work I was finally aloud to take my break. I stepped out the back, sat down on a discarded box and light up a cigarette. I didn’t smoke often, once or twice a day, maybe more if I was especially stressed. Back when I was a teenager it was a pack or two a day, maybe more if I was especially stressed. I’ve improved drastically if you ask me.

Something felt off. I didn’t know what, but something just didn’t feel right. I sat there, cigarette dangling from my fingertips, thinking of what possibly could be wrong.

Other then everything. I thought bitterly. Then it hit me, like an epiphany, the burning stare wasn’t there. After figuring that out I felt oddly empty, like the stare had completed me in some fucked up way. Maybe it was the fact that without thatbeautiful man staring at me I was completely alone. Jamia wasn’t talking to me now because of the way I talked to her last. Mikey was only a friend, a drinking buddy at that. My boss was nothing more then that: my boss. And I’ve been planning Brian’s murder. I was alone. Frank Iero: Pathetic and alone for all eternity, forever and ever and ever.

I sighed. This type of thinking was only gonna make me more depressed. I could practically see myself spiraling downward into the pits of despair.

I stood up and threw the butt of my cigarette on the ground, putting it out with heel of my shoe and walking back into the hellhole of a job. My boss had already left, saying “You better lock up, Iero! And no whining or you‘re fired!” I had let my hair fall into my face and rolled my eyes. He muttered something about ‘ungrateful brats’ and took off.

I sat at the counter with my elbows on the surface and my chin in the palms of my hands; I breathed deeply, closed my eyes and listened to the music that seemed to flow through me. I swayed softly side to side, keeping my chin in my hands. And that’s when I felt it. Those eyes. I smiled, eyes still closed. Soaking up the feeling of not being alone. It felt great, the first time today that I thought life was worth living. But all good things come to an end, I remembered the fact that thosebeautiful eyes belong to a stalker. my eyelids flew open with the recognition. My chin fell off my hands and I blinked rapidly, regaining my composure. I breathed shallowly, a thought ran threw my head,

What if he isn’t a stalker? What if he just likes me? I shook my head, he was a stalker, he just had to be. No normal person stares at people like that even if they do like them.

I just stood there awhile, mentally debating with myself. Then I stopped, stopped moving, stopped debating, I even stopped breathing there for a second.

Hey, I thought, Didn’t I tell him to fuck off? and that’s when I became pissed. No one, and I mean no one disobeys Frank-fucking-Iero.