Never Cover up What We Did With a Dress

Manson shot me a worried look as I began to walk toward the door. I felt horrible for leaving him, and I truly really didn’t want to. After all this time with him that I could have experienced that was pulled viciously away from him and me, I was leaving when I didn’t really have to. But then again I did. As Demi’s best friend, I should be able to leave my boyfriend with our child for a few hours to be there for her at least.

I walked back toward him, taking Lily from her bouncer as I weaved around the couch to return to Manson. He smiled up at me from his chair as I stood above him, smiling back down to him with integrity.

“I don’t know why you’re so worried.” I laughed, looking into his eyes. “We used to baby sit all the time as kids, remember?”

A laugh crossed his lips as he began to remember.

“But that’s so much different, Ches. You know that.”

“Exactly, it’s easier.”

“How is looking after your own child easier than being responsible for someone else’s?”

“Because with someone else’s you have to take extra… care. But Lily? Lily is yours. Don’t worry baby, like I said before, you’ll be fine.”

He smiled up at me still, his lips now curving into a deeper smile as I leaned toward him and kissed him softly on the lips. Lily kicked against me, giggling, as Manson stood up and circled his arms around my back, holding onto me as he deepened the kiss into a more passionate dimension.

“I love you so much.” He whispered into my ear as I rested my face in his shoulder.

“I love you too. I should be back soon, okay?” I smiled at him as I pulled away, staring into his eyes. It didn’t make sense that after all this time apart I leave him.

Manson’s arms encircled me a little tighter as I utter the last sentence, his lips curved into a smile against mine. We pulled away after a minute or two, and I passed Lily into his slightly shaking arms. I could tell he was deafeningly nervous, and I felt a little worried for him, but I knew he’d be perfectly fine with Lily as long as he trusted himself.

I kissed his cheek a final time before I kissed Lily’s nose, taking her tiny hand and trapping it between my own. I smiled over at her and she smiled with no teeth back at me. I looked up to Manson, our gazes locking as I walked away toward the door.
My hand was on the door handle and I began to twist it, swallowing harshly when I realised I was about to leave them both.

“Bye.” Manson said, laughing slightly at how Lily was grasping his chin. I watched as he flipped her up onto his shoulder, rocking her sweetly when she began to cry, settling her successfully.

“See you later,” I said from the half open door. “Remember she has to sleep for a while, she’s not Twiggy or Tony.” I laughed. “Okay? Any problems call me.”

“Okay!” He called as I left.

As the door closed behind me I felt heavy and weighed down. I didn’t want to leave my small family so soon, did I? The day had to come sometime, it was probably better sooner rather than later. I picked at my black nail polish as I waited for the elevator. When it finally came I spent the duration of the trip inside it picturing Manson with Lily and what they were doing at that very second. It took everything I had not to run straight back up there. Get a grip, Chesney! I told myself, it hasn’t even been five minutes yet.

When I entered the lobby and began to walk onto the busy street outside of my apartment, I ran toward Demi. I was so excited to see her again that almost all my thoughts about Manson and Lily had evaporated from my mind. She was leaning casually against her car, waiting patiently for me to come out. She looked like her normal self, wearing tight black jeans and a black singlet top with high brown leather boots and a brown leather jacket. Her jet-black hair was sexily wind whipped and her pretty face was partially covered with black aviator sunglasses. I breathed in the air and ran happily toward my friend.

When I reached her she smiled widely, which showed me that she was happy and excited about the news she had to tell me. I wrapped my arms around her and breathed in the smell of her long hair, realising just how much I missed my best friend, and how much I wanted to know her secret.

“How are you!?” She cried as we pulled away from each other. “You look so vibrant.”

“I suppose I am.” I smiled back at her, “everything is just so amazingly perfect right now.”

“I know what you mean.” Demi said.

She flipped her left hand upward toward me and turned her fingers toward the sunlight. It was at that moment that I realised I had lost her and what we had had before, and I was mostly happy about that. Demi was getting married! My eyes stared longingly at the big, rounded cut diamond that was perched on her long, slim finger.

“Demi!” I cried, utterly happy for her. “You’re getting married? To Tony?”

She smiled sheepishly but didn’t deny the obvious fact. Her smile stretched into a wider, much more truthful one as she screeched, “yes! I’m so excited!”

I smiled back and hugged her again, tighter than before.

“Have you set a date or anything yet?”

“No, not yet. But we’re going to tonight, roughly. It’s still very early. We’ve got the whole night planned for wedding celebrations, though. Which reminds me, could we all go out for a drink on Saturday? It’ll be fun.”

“Sure, why not?”

When Demi began to drive further down the street I bombarded her with questions.

“How’s everything with Tony? Apart from the obvious engagement.”

“Fantastic.”

“The house?”

“Fantastic.”

“The expansion of your vocabulary?”

Demi glanced over to me and hit my arm playfully. I could tell she was hiding some sort of news, but I wasn’t quite certain. My first thought was an engagement, and that was already certified, so what else could it be?

“What is it then? Obviously not engagement, I know that now.”

“I’m going to save you the news until lunch.” She smiled evilly.

“No!”

“Anyway, how about you? How’s Manson? Lily? How’s everything?” She asked, changing the subject.

“It’s all perfectly fine.” I replied. “You know that.”

“I know.” She said.

We drove for a while longer, stopping abruptly at the tollbooth before the Bridge. I didn’t know why we were going into Sausalito, but I was slightly intrigued. It was beautiful over there, and the only restaurants there cost a fortune to dine in.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Remember Alice’s wedding? How we had the reception at that place on the beach?”

“Oh, yeah. It was beautiful.”

“There.”

“But why? That costs so much.”

“We both know money’s not an issue with our… partners.”

“Why did you hesitate in saying that?”

“Don’t worry.”

Demi kept her gaze ahead and I was sort of worried. What did she mean by that? Were Manson and I a couple in her eyes or not? She was my best friend and her approval was essential for me. We had to be on the same page.

“Tell me.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Fine.”

I didn’t press her anymore, I didn’t see the point in doing it. She obviously wasn’t going to tell me the real reason, anyway. I turned my gaze to the window, and stared out over the water as we began to descend off the bridge. I watched as the scenery changed from orange railings and deep blue water to green trees, roads and soil. I turned my attention toward the radio and flipped it onto what I assumed would be the rock station, considering we were in Demi's car afterall. I was immediately graced to hear Manson’s voice playing over the speakers.

“That’s a CD before you start screaming at the coincidence.” She said, laughing.

“I wasn’t going to scream, Demi.” I replied, glad that we weren’t still annoyed at one another.

Demi pulled into the gravel-coated car park and I sighed as I felt the stones crumple under the car. When the car rolled to a stop within a parking space, Demi and I exited the car park and began to walk toward the ocean, and the restaurant.

A waiter approached us and showed us through the busy dining room to the outside deck that had tables suspended over the rocks and ocean. I sat in my seat and began to read the menu.

“So!” I cried. “We’re here. Tell me.”

“Tell you what?” She laughed, obviously knowing what I was going to say next.

“The secret. The reason why we’re here.”

“Fine.” She said simply, rolling her eyes in a dramatic gesture. She swallowed, and knotted her fingers together. “I think…”

“What?” I demanded, surveying her body language.

“I think I might be pregnant.”

I don’t know why I was so surprised. It was bound to be the next step in her life, right? So why couldn’t I reply? Why was my mouth hanging open in utter surprise?

“Does Tony know?” I blurted.

“No, I’m telling him tonight. I’m still not sure.”

“Oh, Demi! That’s fantastic!”

She smiled widely, obviously proud of her possible news. I grasped her hand as the waiter took her order, and then mine.

__________________________________________

When we’d finished our food and moved onto something sweet afterward, we began to talk about Demi’s wedding again.

“What about you and Manson?” She asked after a while. “When do you plan to get married?”

I looked up in utter confusion. I didn’t even consider marriage being an option for us yet.

“We’re hardly together yet.”

“But it makes sense,” she said. “You’ve known each other forever, and don’t forget Lily.”

“Yes, but he’s just left Dita, hasn’t he? I doubt their divorce is even final. I don’t need a piece of paper as proof of how much we love each other, anyway.”

“Does that bother you?” Demi asked, ignoring my last comment.

“Does what bother me?”

I began to get annoyed at how Demi was talking to me. It was almost as if she… looked down on me, judged me for not being married to Manson yet. What was her game?

“He was married to someone else before you.”

“So was Tony!” I declared.

Her eyes shot open and she stared back at me.

“He what?”

“You… You didn’t know?” I stammered.

I felt terrible as I saw her face crumble. She didn’t know Tony was already married before her? Manson had mentioned it to me a while ago, but he obviously didn’t know that Demi didn’t know that fact, either. I wouldn’t have bought it up if she hadn’t known.

“Of course I didn’t know.” She said, her voice cracking and her eyes beginning to water.

“Well, does it really matter anyway?” I asked hopefully, reaching over to her and rubbing her arm. “It was ages ago anyway.”

“That doesn’t matter!” She cried. “He practically lied to me. Why wouldn’t he have told me something like that? I don’t care how long ago it was – it’s the principal. He devoted himself to someone else before me. He loved someone that much? It doesn’t matter how long ago, Chesney. It’s the fact that he wouldn’t tell me. I wouldn’t have been angry or upset if he had.”

“I know.” I swallowed deeply as I saw a tear flow down her cheek. I felt horrible.

“I am sorry I told you.” I said eventually, squeezing her hand tight.

“I’m glad you did. I knew things like this for me are too good to be true.”

“Demi, that’s not true.” I said. “Look at you. You love Tony so much that this whole… situation will blow over quickly. And you’re having a baby with him. What more could you possibly wish for?”

“I don’t know if I can forgive him this time, Ches.” Demi said, and I knew that she was genuinely worried. This was a massive deal for her. Tony hadn’t given her the respect to tell her he’d loved someone and gotten married before her? I admit, that’s pretty rough.

“I think we’ll need some time apart.” She decided as she tipped her head to the left, looking out into the crashing sea around us. I could see her watching a yacht as is glided through the salty water. I looked out too, my eyes catching a big container ship that was pulling into the San Francisco bay.

“Demi…” I started. “Please just think this through properly, okay? Yes, he did something terrible by not telling you, but can you throw away everything you two have over that?”

“Yes, I think I can.” She said, and the tears that poured out of her eyes were much thicker and various. “If he kept this from me, what else has he not told me? Does he have some child in China? For all I know he does! I’ve married this man and it’s been totally false. I know hardly anything about him!”

I wanted desperately for Tony and Demi to be together, and I knew that they should be. They were perfect for one another, but Demi had a point.

“Have you told him everything about you?” I asked cautiously.

She nodded with a wet face and a throbbing head.

“Everything that he should know about me, I’ve told him about.”

I watched, consumed by guilt as her face lowered onto the table below her, shielding her face from the world, just for a moment. I continued to look out onto the water. The docking ship had left my sight by now. I sighed feeling completely empty. What had I done?

“Demi…” I tried to console her, but as I uttered her name she snapped her head back up and tried desperately to recompose herself. She sat up straight and smiled happily, twisting off her engagement ring and placing it into her wallet as she stood.

“I’m so glad I saw you again, Ches.” She said. “I think we best be going now, yes? I’m sure you want to get back to Lily and Manson.”

Her tone was not spiteful, and yet I felt wounded by her assumption, even more so when I realised it was true. I followed Demi back to her car, following her purposeful strides. Her precision and energy scared me a little bit – the almost evil smile that was now permanently spread on her face even more so. I slid into the seat beside her, keeping silent the whole way home, haunted by the guilt I was feeling.

When we arrived back out the front of my apartment, I swallowed back guilty sobs before I got out of her car.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay, Demi?” I asked, my hand perched on the door handle.

“Of course I will be.” She sniffed, her smile still strong.

“If you need to stay somewhere, you’re always welcome here.”

“What in the hell makes you think I might be leaving?” She accused, her face turning hard in anger.

“Just… if you need anything I am here.”

“Right.” She said strongly, sliding on her big black sunglasses and turning from me, facing the front windscreen. From her thin, straight lips I got the hint that it was time for me to get out. I did as I assumed she wanted, closing the door gently behind me. I watched from the street as she sped away, tears crashing down my cheeks. The only solace I comforted myself with then was that I would be going inside to Manson, and my little family that I cherished so dearly.