Never Cover up What We Did With a Dress

I slammed the door once I entered the apartment, throwing my back against it as the tears I had been trying to hold back poured from my eyes. Manson wasn’t in sight, and I could hear Lily cry from her bedroom, making me feel even guiltier because the banging of the door had obviously woken her. I continued to cry, not even noticing when a screaming Lily and a flustered Manson emerged from her bedroom. When he saw me crying too, it looked as through he was going to have a stroke.

“What’s wrong baby?” He asked as he patted Lily on the back in an attempt to calm her.

“I have ruined everything.” I whispered, my hands flying over my face.

Manson rotated Lily and began to rock her, calming her down significantly. I felt him grasp my free hand and guide me to the couch where he sat down next to me, encircling me in a hug once he placed a calm Lily in her bouncer beside us.

“What’s everything?” He asked.

“Tony and Demi.” I explained. “She didn’t know that he was married before he met her.”

“Why would you even be discussing that?”

“Because her and Tony are engaged.” I said, crying harder was I choked out – “Were engaged.”

Manson hugged me tighter, kissing my head and rocking me back and forth against him as I continued to cry softly.

“I’m still a little confused, honey.” He said. “Can you explain it all to me?”

So, I took a deep breath and tried to cease my tears as I looked up at him, choking back a fresh round of sobs.

“We went out, and she told me she and Tony are engaged. And then she told me that she thinks she might be pregnant. And then she asked why we weren’t getting married, and speaking in this arrogant tone like she was somehow better than me because she was engaged and possibly expecting a child. I told her I didn’t need a piece of paper as proof for our love, and even if we were going to get married now your divorce probably isn’t even final yet. And then she said ‘does it bother you Manson was married before you?’ in this rude way and I said ‘so was Tony!’ and she freaked and took off the ring.” I cried into Manson’s chest as he continued to hold me.

“Baby…”

“And now she’s probably pregnant with no one!” I cried. “I feel terrible.”

“You did the right thing.” He said. “Tony should have told her. It’s not your fault she didn’t know.”

“But it is my fault that they’re not together anymore.”

“Well… no…”

“Yes.”

“Just because you said it doesn’t mean that it’s your fault. Obviously you assumed Demi knew about Tony. Stop blaming yourself.”

“I just feel so guilty.” I whined. “Why did I even say anything?”

“I don’t know. But this is not your fault. So stop crying and give Demi some space.”

“I love you.” I said, kissing Manson’s lips as we broke apart.

He looked down at me and wiped away any stray tears, smiling at me as I laughed, feeling stupid for the tears I had just cried, and the huge wet patch on Manson’s shirt they had created. I stood slowly and took Lily from her bouncer, knowing how tired she was.

“Did you try to put her down when I came in?” I asked.

“Yeah, but she couldn’t sleep.”

“Could you warm up a bottle for me?” I asked, and Manson nodded, kissing me on the cheek before he turned toward the kitchen and I walked off to Lily’s room. Like I had all those times when Manson was in Chatsworth with Dita, I settled into the bay window with Lily, staring at the picture of him on the shelf. I traced a raindrop that ran down the window to my left. Lily lay restlessly in my arms and I rocked her until Manson came in with her bottle of warm milk.

“You two look so beautiful over here together.” Manson whispered in my ear as he handed me the bottle. He sat opposite us and I smiled at him as I fed Lily, being sure to stay quiet as I rocked her to sleep. It was close to six now, and I hoped that Lily would sleep through the night tonight. After I burped her and her eyes began to close, I placed her in her crib. Manson walked over once she had begun to doze off, wrapping his arms tenderly around my waist as we watched our daughter drift into sleep. I felt his lips hum against my ear as they kissed along the soft skin, stopping once they reached my cheek. I spun around and circled my arms around Manson’s neck, kissing him deeply, my back pressed against the posts of Lily’s crib.

“Maybe we should go into our room.” I whispered in his ear.

Excited, Manson smiled, walking out of the room with his hand in mine. I was slightly worried at how successfully we’d be able to seduce one another with his injuries, but those doubts were quickly subdued when Manson pushed me against our closed door, his lips moving against mine. I hitched my legs up, wrapping them around his thin hips as we continued to kiss one another.

Slowly, Manson walked over toward the bed, supporting me against him, never once detaching his lips from mine. I felt the soft mattress sink under us as he straddled me, guiding my shirt off over my head with his hands. I bit my lip as his hands ran around the wired lace of my bra, cheekily darting under the material occasionally as his lips roamed from mine, down my neck, and onto my exposed chest. Expertly, Manson’s hand unclasped my bra, cupping my breasts together, and then individually as his mouth began replacing them. I moaned loudly, unable to contain the mix of pleasure, longing, and excitement that was running through my body. I felt him become hard, pressed against my thigh as his tongue ran seductively over my nipples, and he began to move toward my jeans. Before he began to unbutton them, I slid off his shirt and flipped him around so I was now on top of him.

I ran my hands up and down his chest, my tongue doing the same until he looked like he was about to scream with longing. I felt I had tortured him enough, smiling at the red marks my nails had made all over his abdomen, and eventually I made my way toward his black leather jeans. I popped the button and slid down the zipper, sliding them off along with his boxer shorts. Taking his erection in my hand, I moved my hand up and down it, taking it in my mouth until he was moaning uncontrollably. Not wanting him to reach his climax too early, I lay down next to him and waited until he removed the rest of my clothing before finally letting him enter me.

Afterwards, Manson and I lay in bed, looking out of the window in front of us, watching the rain sparkle in the lowering light, seeing it fall onto everything it crossed. Manson’s hand was in my hair, his other arm around my waist, my head resting on his chest, my arms encircling him.

“I love you, Chesney.” He said, looking down into my eyes.

“I love you too.”

The comfortable silence between us lingered in the air for a while until Manson finally spoke.

“Demi will be okay, you know.”

“How do you know that?” I asked, becoming slightly unsettled as I remembered her current situation.

“Because I’ve never seen Tony this way before. He really loves Demi, it’s obvious, and I know he won’t let her go, especially not over his past.”

I watched Manson’s face twist into a confused frown, and I asked him what he was wondering about.

“I just… it doesn’t make sense why he didn’t tell her. All the other serious girlfriends he has had, he’d told about his ex wife. I don’t know why he didn’t tell Demi. Maybe he was protecting her.”

“From what?”

“I don’t know. Heartbreak? Lost hope? Who knows?”

Manson leaned down and kissed my forehead, telling me to forget about it for now.

I pulled myself closer to him, holding him in turn. It was beginning to get later and later, and the rain wasn’t stopping at all. I smiled at the warmth I was feeling, both inside and out. I was almost waterlogged with love for Manson, and I knew he was for me, too.

At around eight thirty, Manson and I staggered out of bed to make some dinner. Together we mixed, cooked, and laughed our way through it. As we sat down and began to eat by the television, enjoying one another’s company and our mixed conversation, our legs entwined in one another, the doorbell rang through the apartment.

“I’ll get it.” I sing-songed, skipping over to the door. I pressed the telecom. “Who is it?”

“Me.” I heard a sob cry from the other end. “I did it, Chesney. I left him.”