Never Cover up What We Did With a Dress

I stared into his face.

I scoured every detail of it, I studied the make up spread across his clean, pale skin. I made everything I was looking at that second imprinted in my brain for future reference when I would not be with him. Every feature, every square centimeter of him made my stomach lurch and my heart pound. For a while he just stared straight back at me. For a moment he searched my face, my skin. Then the weirdest thing happened. He leaned toward me. I started to panic and break out in a soft sweat. The closeness of him right then after all this time made me feel uneasy and nervous. I had wanted this intimacy between us for such a long time. He leaned closer still, until finally he wrapped his arms around me in a momentary embrace. Before he pulled away from me he whispered in my ear.

"Hello Chipmunk."

I couldn't help but smile as he said my childhood nick name. Before his arms let their grip around me slip, I whispered back in his ear.

"Hey Baby Hugh-ey."

A soft laugh escaped his lips as he finally pulled back and looked at me once again. I saw a huge grin plastered on his face, heavier than his make up. It looked heart felt and real, not fake like other ones. He'd missed me and I knew it.

"Why are you here? Don't you live in Georgia now?" He asked, still smiling.

"Yeah actually I do. But um... My friend Demi..." I grabbed Demi who was standing frozen about a meter from me, just staring at Manson in pure admiration, her mouth dropping open, and I pulled her closer to me. "She is a huge fan of you, as you can see, and she persuaded me to come with her to your concert tonight."

"Oh. I see. Why didn't you just go to the one in Georgia?" He laughed. "I'm preforming there in three days."

I turned to Demi with an evil glare in my eye. She stared back at me pathetically, a small sorry smile on her face.

"I um... I wanted to see Florida." She said lamely. "I've always wanted to."

"Well that is true," I said.

"Maybe we could catch up while I'm in Georgia?" Marilyn suggested to me. "I mean I'm only there for about a night but still. There's so much we have to talk about."

There wouldn't be anything to catch up for if you hadn't ditched me for fame. I thought to myself. I didn't dare say it to him right then, not with the look and smile that was on his face. Instead I smiled too.

"Sure. Why not?"

"Awesome. So yeah... Would you like to come eat with us? Both of you, obviously."

"Let's!" Demi cried.

I couldn't believe any of this. I was seeing Manson again? Everyone in the restaurant was staring jealously at Demi and I. I couldn't help but notice the looks Tony was giving off in Demi's direction. It made me smile more, and I found myself wishing that they'd end up together so they'd always be a tie between Manson and I. I had missed him so much. The manager running behind the counter called all four of us up to the front of the line to be served before everyone else. Once we'd all ordered and received our food Manson and Tony walked out the restaurant. Demi gave me a look and followed them. I followed her uneasily. Had they wanted us to go with them? When I opened the door and walked outside into the parking lot I saw Manson waiting at his car, holding the third door to the very back seat open for me. I smiled as I walked toward him.

"Hop in." He said. "I'll sit in the very back with you. I'll let Tony sit with Demi."

I laughed as Manson raised his eyebrows suggestively. I then pushed past him and sat in the seat furtherest away from the door he held open. Manson climbed in after me and sat next to me, closing the door after him.

"So how is everything?" I asked him as the car pulled off.

"Umm. It's okay." He replied. I studied his face in the dim daylight that was filtering through the darkly tinted windows.

"I know that look." I said. "What's up?"

"Nothing, seriously. What about you? How are things with you?"

"Average. Boring. I just got fired from my job."

"That sucks. Oh, did you end up finishing your college courses? Still want to be an interior designer?"

I closed my eyes in a long blink. I contemplated whether or not I should lie to him and make the whole conversation easier. "Umm. I dropped out. And yes I still want to be one but it's not going to happen. I have to start my own business and I have no money for an office or anything."

"So? Work from your apartment. I know you can if you want to. Any why did you drop out?"

"Personal reasons," I replied. No way was I telling him the real reasons.

"Mmm, I see." Manson didn't sound too impressed at me. I felt stupid and childish.

"Anyway..." I said, trying to steer the conversation in another direction. "How did all this fame stuff come about?"

"I was doing the right things at the right times," he said,"really just one thing led to another and I happened to be there. Very lucky actually."

"Right." I replied. I was starting to get annoyed that Manson was shutting down to me. Usually he'd tell me every detail and we'd talk for hours. But that was before and this is now.

"I thought I saw you drive past me before." He said.

"You did. I did." I replied, licking my lips.

"Why didn't you stop?" He asked.

"I don't really know you anymore," I said, "it would have been slightly... Awkward."

"I haven't changed, Ches." Manson said. "I'm still the exact same person you knew before."

"Really?" I said rhetorically. "Because last time I checked you were a timid, scared little boy who'd been violated the exact same way as I was at the same age. You let it take over your life, what happened to you, and when you met me we were inseparable because we both knew what it felt like to be abused. You were the person I knew would have never abandoned our friendship over anything, let alone fame and money. Hell, you moved from Ohio and we were still friends until I eventually joined you in Florida for later high school. I don't understand how you could just do that to me."

"Sorry." He said.

There was an uncomfortable silence floating around us until I started to get really irritable. I had driven all this way to see him, and when I finally have alone time with him he doesn't talk? My mouth took over before my brain had time to process what I should say.

"So what actually happened anyway?" I said bitchily. "Did your phone break or something? Maybe you lost my number?"

He didn't say anything but I felt him jerk as his muscles tightened. He was trying to avoid this topic.

"I um..." He started, rubbing his hands up and down along his tight leather pants. "I'm sorry. There's no excuse. I just got too busy and valued fame and money more than... Your friendship. And I realise now how stupid that was of me."

"Mmmm." I muttered.

"Why didn't you try to call me?" He asked.

"I did. A few times. But you'd either not pick up or I'd hang up when you did."

"Why? Why wouldn't you just talk to me? It didn't have to end like this."

"I wasn't going to continue a friendship that was one sided. You know I am not like that. You meant so much to me, really you did. You were the only person that understood me and what I had been through."

"I can't say anything else other than what I have already said. I was an ass hole, okay? I stopped talking to you because at the time I thought fame and money and the future was more important than you. You reminded me too much of the past... Too much of what happened to me. I don't want to remember it. I didn't want to remember you."

"I see. I reminded you of your neighbour? Is that it?"

"No. You were holding me back. All I ever thought about was you, Ches. And the fact that you'd been through what I had... I didn't want the baggage. I loved you."

"I... I loved you, too."