I'm Not Bulletproof

The school day was longer than usual. I guess I am a little apprehensive about meeting Alexi’s friends. That’s normal. I think?

“Triinu!” Alexi says while I put my books away in my locker.

“What?”

“Are you going to go to the bleachers with us after school?”

“I guess so,”

“Alright cool, I’m going to bring you. You’d probably get lost again,” he jokes. Hah hah hah, very funny.

I roll my eyes slightly.

“Come on,”

Alexi and I walk across the field and near the bleachers. I see a small group of two.

Are those his friends? Only two?

“Hey you guys,” Alexi calls out. Both of them look at him and wave back. The one boy is in my history class. I don’t know his name though.

“This is the girl from Estonia,” Alexi ‘introduces’ me. Like anyone cares I’m from Estonia?

At least I’m not from Sweden. Then I’d be hated. I told this one girl from my math class that I speak Swedish and she got really, really pissed.

I guess Finns hate Swedes.

“You’re the smart girl from my history class,” the one boy said. Great, now I’m known as the smart girl.

“The smart girl has a name,” Alexi says. Did he just defend me?

“Well no one told me her name!” he says.

“It’s Triinu,” I say.

“I’m Henkka, and this is Jaska,” he says. So Henkka is the tall skinny one and Jaska is the one with more meat on his bones. I’ll be sure to remember that.

“What are we doing about the band?” Henkka asks Alexi. So I guess he is in Alexi’s band.

“We have to find a fucking place where they’ll let us play,” he replies. He sure does swear a lot.

“That’s going to be hard though,” Jaska says.

“We’ll do it though, I mean, how hard can it be?”

After a few minutes of hearing them converse, I start to feel a little awkward. I haven’t said a thing. They are all talking about things I have no clue about, or have any interest in. There are a million other things that are racing through my head.

Should I make a lame excuse and leave? Or should I get into the conversation a little more?

“Yeah, Triinu just did an open mic at one of the coffee houses yesterday. It was really good,” Alexi says while looking at me.

“What do you play?” Henkka asks me.

“I play guitar and piano, but I sing most of the time,” I say.

“Maybe she could play guitar with us one day,” Henkka suggests. I think he was joking. I’m not sure.

“Nah, she doesn’t play metal,” Alexi says. Great, now they are going to think I’m boring.

“She’s too pretty to play metal,” Jaska says. I blush slightly. Why did Jaska say that?

Did I mention that I hate compliments? I see Alexi’s fists tighten up slightly. Was he angry at the remark?

“Any way, I’ll go look for more clubs or whatever the fuck,” he says while standing up.

“Triinu, are you coming?” Alexi says. I wasn’t paying any attention to any of what they were saying.

“Yes,” I say quietly. I wave goodbye at Henkka and Jaska. They seemed nice.

“Do you have any idea where you’re going to play?” I ask Alexi after a few minutes of walking. He shakes his head.

I hope he isn’t in one of his moods again. He tends to get that way a lot.

“Are you okay?”

He chuckles, “I’m not bipolar,”

What does that have to do with anything?

“Could’ve fooled me…” I mumble.

“Hmm?” he asks. Good, he didn’t hear me.

“Nothing,”

“Can I ask you one question? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want,” he says. I sigh rather loudly. I hate it when people ask me questions.

“Yes,”

“Why do you write in English in your journal instead of Estonian?”

He has a good point.

“I do that because I need to practice my English, and I thought Katerzyna didn’t speak much English. Nor did I think you spoke the language,” I answer, “and I sing in English because no one would want to sign someone speaking Estonian,”

He laughs at my response.

He has such a cute smile. Why the fuck am I thinking like this?! It must be the eggs from this morning. I try to convince myself that it is the food from this morning.

“I sing in English too,” he says.

“I haven’t heard your band yet,” I say.

“I’ll play some stuff for you when we get back.”

Now I actually have something to look forward to when I get home.