I'm Not Bulletproof

Throughout the night every conversation was dominated by my mother and father. They spoke about work and family. Almost bragging about how my father’s job is so respectable and how well my mother raises children. That is truly wrong.

The reason why my father is ‘respectable’ is because people are afraid of him. He is over six foot four inches and weighs around two-hundred forty pounds. I don’t think any sane person would dare question him.

And as for my mother raising good children, it’s just complete shit. Of course we act well in front of people, but leave us alone and we’ll kill each other. I am not being sarcastic by saying that.

Before the twins were born my mother and father would take vacations, leaving us alone at home. This was also during the time when Dimitri and I would fight almost daily. I would keep a knife under my pillow while I slept for protection. Thankfully I never had to use the knife, but if I felt threatened, I would surely use it.

“You should see how well Triinu does in school. Every test she brings home has an A. You must be very proud,” Mrs. Laiho gets a word in.

“Yes, she has always been a good student. I was worried back in Estonia, she didn’t seem like herself,” my mother says.

Maybe if she took the time to listen she would understand what I went through.

I feel my fists tighten under the table. The longer I am away from my family, the more I hate them.

“Your son seems…bright,” my mother says. She gave Alexi her infamous look of disgust.

That was the final straw. I’m used to her degrading me, but when she does that to my friends, I get livid.

“Alexi is one of a kind. He’s very talented at music,” Mrs. Laiho says.

Alexi is more than talented at music. He is kind, caring, giving, cute and sweet. He may look angry and unpleasant on the outside, but on the inside, he is the most loving person.

People just need to take time to understand him. No one takes him seriously and that bothers me.

My mother can’t get past his long hair and clothing style.

“I need fresh air,” I get up from the table without saying ‘may I be excused?’ like my mother would wish.

I walk out of the restaurant and sit down on the stairs.

I really hope Alexi isn’t offended by my mother’s remark.

“You look pissed,” I hear Alexi says. I nod my head, too angry to speak.

He pulls something out of his pocket and hands it to me; it was a cigarette.

“Here, you need it more than I do,”

I put the cigarette to my lips and he lights it. I take a long drag and sigh.

“Alexi, I’m sorry about my mom,” I say.

“Don’t worry about it. I deserve it,”

“No you fucking do not,” I say, “do you know how happy you’ve made me? What my mom said is complete bull shit,”

He smiles sweetly, “I made you happy?”

“Yes!” I laugh.

“How?”

“You’re here for me and you make me feel good about myself,” I say. I know he knows this. He just wants me to say it.

“Oh really” he smiles, “do you know how happy you made me feel?”

“No,”

To be honest I have no idea how I might of changed his life for the better.

“You make me feel like I’m worth living for. You’re the only one who I can be myself around. And you accept me for me, even though I am an asshole,” he explains.

Alexi is right, I do accept him. For the days he yelled at me, I still put up with him. I didn’t walk out on him.

My whole body warms up. I never knew I was capable of doing something like that. Alexi makes me feel alive; something I haven’t felt in years.

I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my forehead on his.

He breaths out deeply and smiles. I return the smile, only wider.

“You’re beautiful,” he says. I begin to blush. This was another side to Alexi I had yet to see.

“Let’s go back inside,” he says.

Tonight may be bad, but at least I have Alexi.

And Alexi has me.