Sweet Child O'Mine

She shook her head as a tear slipped down her cheek. “Nothing happened,” she whispered “I just fell down the stairs, nothing big.” I wiped the tear away with my thumb and looked at her straight in the eye. I felt like shit, she didn’t trust me enough to tell me what was going on it was my fault. I had made her feel unwelcome and I prayed that there was something I could do to change that.

“Why don’t you tell me? I need to know.” I begged for an answer but all she did was give me a sad look. Her brown orbs, that where exactly like mine, shined through unshed tears and I felt my heart ache as I thought about what could have possibly happened to her. She placed her hand on top of mine and smiled weakly.

“Trust me, Brian, I’m fine.” I didn’t want to give up, I needed to know. I leaned down to hug her and as I applied light pressure on her back she whimpered in pain causing me to quickly sit back up. She held out her hand, “I-I’m fine.” I shook my head.

“No you’re not.” She was trying everything to avoid me; she really didn’t want to tell me. I slowly got up and walked to my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I pulled out my phone with my trembling hands and dialed Lyndsey’s number.

“Hello?” I heard her voice chime through the receiver. I felt like I needed to tell her before anyone else, don’t get me wrong I do trust the guys but something told me to call her.

“Baby,” my voice cracked “I need you to come home now.”

“Now? I’m food shopping.”

“Please, Lynds, I need you here now. I’ll explain when you get here, just please come home.” I felt uneasy; my mind was plagued by horrendous thoughts. This was my daughter and she was in such pain that I felt for her. She was my flesh and blood and it is my duty to protect her from any harm. She didn’t deserve to go through such things.

“Okay, I’ll be there in less then five. Alright babe?”

I nodded as I answered “Alright, bye.” I heard a faint ‘bye’ as the line went dead. I dropped the phone on my bed and just stared at it not knowing what to do next. My mind went blank, everything just seemed confusing and I swore that I almost forgot how to breathe. I slowly walked to my bed and sat down on the edge of it, resting my forehead in my hands. “What the hell am I supposed to do?” I whispered to myself, “Mom, help me, what do I do?” Closing my eyes I remembered my mom, she helped me in everything but she left me a year ago and it was too hard for me to handle. Life just seemed to get a lot harder when she left me and I just wish she was here to help me. I wish she was here to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay.

“Brian?” I heard Lyndsey’s voice echo through the house. I quickly walked out of my bedroom and met her and the peak of the stairs. She had her eyes cloudy with concern as she kissed me ‘hello’. She cupped my face as she whispered “What’s going on?” I swallowed hard and looked at her.

Lilly’s POV

I heard faint whispers on the opposite side of my door and I groaned to myself, knowing that Brian was talking to Lyndsey about me. Why doesn’t he just leave me alone? I can get through this, I mean its not the first time I’ve been hurt. This was just another day in the life of Lillian Marie Haner, nothing ever changes and I don’t expect it to. My head snapped to the direction of the entrance to my room, and saw Brian and Lyndsey walk in. Her eyes widened at the sight of my legs and I quickly pulled the covers up to my waist and cursed in my head from the pain that surged though me. Brian pursed his lips together as he stood at the head of my bed keeping his head down avoiding me. My eyes then snapped to Lyndsey, who was sitting next to me. She placed her hand on mine and began to speak with worry in her voice.

“Lilly, what happened to you?” Feeling frustrated, I shook my head and responded with a sigh.

“I’m fine. Nothing happened, okay? So can you two please leave me alone?”

She looked at the bruise on my face and shook her head. “No, something happened to you. So until you tell me, I will not leave you alone. You have to trust me, please tell me what happen to you and who did this.” I looked at Brian, who was looking at me with sadness in his eyes; it amazed me how bad they wanted to know what happened to me. Since when did anyone care about me? Lyndsey stood up and walked to the side where my back was and informed me that she wanted to see my back and was going to lift up my shirt. I quickly tried to lie on my back but she beat me to it and let out a gasp when she saw the unpleasant sight of my beaten back. Brian quickly went to her side and I saw his jaw clench and his hands ball into fists. I closed my eyes as I felt Lyndsey run her hand gently against my back as she mumbled something to Brian. She then quickly stood up and shooed Brian out of the room but Brian made it clear that he didn’t want to leave. She whispered something to him and he then vanished behind the closed door. She then turned around towards me and sat back in her original place.

“Lilly,” she began as she ran the back of her hand gently down my cheek. Tucking a strand of my black hair behind my ear she softly spoke, “can you tell me what happened?”

Feeling defeated, I began to speak but limited the information of what I was going to tell her. “Well, I was visiting my old house when this group of guys came at me. I ran all the way down the street but they pulled me into a shed and just beat me up. Really bad as you can see.”

She frowned “Oh babe, but…but is there anything else they did to you?”

I looked at her and swallowed hard before answering with a question. “Will you tell Brian?”

She shook her head “I won’t if you don’t want me to”

I nodded “Yes, I was…” I blinked back tears that burned through my eyes before continuing “I was raped.”

She hugged me gently and I cried in her shoulder. Even though it was painful, I had more tears to cry and I couldn’t hold them in. I pulled away and lifted up my shirt to reveal the bruises and bite marks that were in the front of my body. Her eyes brimmed with tears and she ran her hand down my stomach. She then pulled my shirt back down, pulling the covers back on me and then got up.

“I’m going to get this special salt for you. You are going to have to take a bath with it but I’m going to buy you a bathing suite because Brian is going to have to carry you. I won’t tell him, okay?” I nodded and she continued “I’ll be right back.” She opened the door and dashed out the room passing Brian. He looked at me and I bit my lip, fighting the tears that were begging to fall. He hesitantly started walking to me and he stood at the head of my bed again with his hands in his pockets. We looked at each other in silence before I started to speak.

“Brian?” I whispered. He looked at me and smiled weakly.

“Yeah.”

“Can you lie down with me?” He nodded, kicking off his shoes and then laid down next to me. He gently pulled me close to him, being careful not to cause pain. I rested my head on his upper arm and buried my face into his chest, inhaling his scent. I closed my eyes, letting tears slipped down my cheeks. We stayed there in silence and I wanted to tell him how bad I was hurting and what was going on but I felt like I was burdening him. He didn’t need my problems; he had enough of his own. He started running his hand through my hair and I hugged him tighter. The tears won the battle, causing me to break out into sobs. I balled his shirt into my fists as I cried, making me soak his shirt with tears. He cooed me that everything was going to be okay.

After another moment of silence, I started to speak. “Can I tell you something?”

He nodded “Of course, babe, you can tell me anything.”

“I don’t want to bother you but,” I felt tears burn through my eyes again “I need to tell someone and its just that I’ve been hurt so much and I don’t think I can take anymore." My voice soon became a whisper and it cracked "Sometimes it feels like the world is on my shoulders, everyone is leaning on me and if feels like the world is almost over. People make jokes because they don’t understand me but they just don’t see my real side. They will never understand why I am so hurt.” The tears flowed and my chest burned from the pain my chest was producing. “I grew up a fucking screw up, my mom got introduced to the game, got an ounce and just fucking blew up. But I want to just take this time out to be perfectly honest because there's a lot of shit I keep bottled that hurts deep inside of my soul. This boulder on my shoulder gets heavy and harder to hold and this load is like the weight of the world. I think my neck is breaking should I just give up? Or try to live up to these expectations? Everyday of my life I have been abused ever since I was fourteen.”

“What do you mean?” He whispered.

“When my mom can’t afford her drugs she forces me to have sex with them. They rape me and I beg them to stop,” I sobbed and my chest heaved as I tried to calm myself down. “But they wouldn’t. It hurts so badly and they took away my first time, my dignity, and my life. I was beaten everyday by them and my mom. She always took out her anger on me; I would never get a break. The guy who hurt me today was one of my mothers’ drug dealers. He wanted his money but before that he beat me and then raped me. I still feel every one of those men on me. I begged my mom to help me, to make them stop, but she ignored me.” Brian hugged me tighter and rubbed my back gently. I continued to rant on “I got a mother that's determined to make my life a living hell but I handle it well, given the circumstances I'm dealt. The years that I've wasted are nothing to the tears that I've tasted. I don’t want to live anymore; I just wish that I was never born. I just wish my mom would love me, is that so much to ask for?”

Brian began to whisper, “No babe its not but it's over, there's no more reason to cry any more. I got my baby; she has travelled back to the arms of her rightful owner. I am so glad your mother didn't abort because I would have never met you and you are so fucking beautiful. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again; you will always be safe with me. Lilly, know that you daddy's a soldier; nothing can take you from me. If you ever need anything, daddy will be right there. Well guess what? Daddy's here and I’m not going anywhere, baby. I love you.” He kissed my forehead. I hugged him tighter, not caring how much it hurt. I was finally reunited with my dad and he wasn’t going to hurt me or let anyone do me wrong. Everything was going to be okay, I had my dad.

“I love you too, dad” I whispered.