Sweet Child O'Mine

Brian’s POV

Playing a riff on my guitar as I spun around slowly on the swivel chair I was sitting on, I thought about everything. It felt like nothing and no one would let anything register in my head. Getting myself a new daughter, more problems, and having to deal with drug dealers and violence-this was more than I could handle. I would be surprised if I could get myself out of this one. There’s a point where I just question if Lilly is really my daughter. Yes, we do, in fact, look very much alike but that’s not a reason to assume such a thing that comes with a hell of a lot of responsibility. I wonder if anyone else questions it too. Lyndsey is taking this whole ordeal fine and the guys already accepted her, so what’s holding me back? Why is it so difficult for me to accept everything? Fuck, I needed a cigarette, but I made a promise to Laney. Damn promises get me no where.

Shaking my head as I exhaled deeply, I set my guitar down and stood up. I walked over to Aiden as I pulled on a smile and handed him some money. “Hey, why don’t you get us some food? You know the usual.”

“Sure, but I get to take your car.” He grinned.

“Fine but please don’t wreck it. I don’t feel like buying a new one…again.” I bargained.

He got up and grabbed the keys off the table and smiled devilishly. “I’ll try.”

Waiting for him to leave the studio, I walked to the mini fridge and pulled out a beer. Turning around to see he was completely gone, I sat back in my original place and called over the guys. Zack along with Jimmy sat on the couch that was in front of me and Matt and Johnny pulled up chairs next to me.

“What’s up?” Jimmy asked.

I sighed feeling a bit guilty. “I have doubts Lilly is really my daughter and I really don’t think I can do this.”

“That’s understandable but why do you think she’s not yours? I mean she really fucking looks like you, dude.” Zack said.

“Is it the responsibility, maybe you feel insecure?” Matt questioned.

“I-I don’t know. I feel like she really is mine but I feel like something’s not right. I feel like there are going to be big problems and huge fights.”

“Why?” Johnny asked as he took a sip of his beer.

“I really can’t answer that but I’m hoping that this is all in my head.” I sighed.

“Have you thought about who or what these fights could be over?” Jimmy asked as he sat up being more attentive.

“Everyone and everything. I don’t think I can handle anymore shit. It feels like some things are going to be a never ending hell. I don’t know if I want that.”

“Because she brought more problems than solutions.” Zack stated rather than questioned.

“Yeah but it’s not her fault.”

“It’s her mothers.” Matt said in a rather cold voice.

“And you didn’t know.” Johnny said softly.

I bit my lip and looked down at the floor. “She told me she was pregnant and that it was mine.” I stated quietly.

“How come you never told us?” Zack asked surprised.

“I couldn’t and I didn’t believe her. Besides, how can I tell my best friends that I cheated on my pregnant girlfriendand that there was a possibility that I fathered another kid?”

They all sighed and looked at each other with blank expressions. I ran my hand through my hair and inhaled and exhaled heavily. “I could have prevented all of this.” I felt stupid and regretful.

“No you couldn’t have,” Jimmy reassured. “Maybe it was meant to be this way. There’s a reason for everything. Why don’t you try to forget about this and try to show a bit more affection? A hug can go a long way.”

We all looked at him as if he was a being from outer space. “What?” he questioned. “Jamie taught me that.”

We all smiled as I nodded, “Maybe you’re right.”

Lilly’s POV

“I really have to go,” I repeated trying to make an escape.

“Right now? I want you to meet some of my friends.” He said.

“Yes, right now.” The more his friends walked closer the faster my heart raced. I began to walk backwards but before I could go any further Mike took my hand. He smiled at me and then looked at his friends, waved and told them he would meet up with them later. He turned around as I did, with out hands still linked together.

We ran through the other side of the woods and stopped when we reached the street. I felt weirdly comfortable with him and with our hands synced as one. He looked at me with a smile.

“Where is it that you have to be?”

I made a thinking expression, pretending to have forgotten where I needed to be. I sighed and frowned as I answered. “I forgot.”

He nodded, “I guess that means I have you for a while more.”

I smiled shyly. “I guess.”

It was getting a bit dark out when Mike and I arrived at the park. We made our way to the swing set that was in the sand box and I walked over to a swing and sat down. He walked behind me and unexpectedly began to push me. I gripped tighter on the chains as he pulled me back and let go. After a few moments of silence, Mike sat down on the swing next to me.

“You like it here?”

I sighed as I quickly thought about. “Yes, I do, but I feel like there’s something still missing.”

He nodded in a thinking matter, “Like what?”

I looked at him and I tried to think of a lie. He didn’t know about my mom and I didn’t want him to. He would just judge me for what my mother did and what she is. Why did I have to open my big mouth? I looked at him with a sad smile.

“You don’t have to tell me if you-”

“My mom.” I interrupted in a low voice. He looked at me with confusion mixed in with sadness. “She’s, uh, she’s sick in the hospital.” I said slowly.

“I’m sorry. If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?”

“I don’t know.” I lied.

He frowned, “Oh, but I’m pretty sure she’s going to be okay.”

I nodded with another sad smile. “Thanks, I hope so.”

He smiled as his eye drifted to where the trees were. He stood up and began walking towards the trees and then behind one of them. I stopped swinging and sat silent for a while waiting for him to say something. I heard a snapping noise and jumped up. I called out his name but received no answer as I slowly walked to where he was-well supposed to be. As I reached and looked behind the tree he disappeared behind, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Without thinking, my hand balled into a fist and as I turned around my fist met with someone’s face. I heard a thud and a groan as I turned around. My eyes widened as I found Mike lying on the floor with his hand cupping his chin.

“Oh, my God! I’m so sorry!” I said as I kneeled down to him.

He moved his hand away from his face and smiled. “You have quite an uppercut there.” He chuckled and groaned. I smiled at him as if he was insane. “What? You look cute when you hit people.”

I laughed lightly. “Thanks…I think.”

“You’re welcome.” He grinned. I stood up with his hand in mine and helped pull him on his feet. “I think I should get you home. Its getting late and I really don’t want to see you whoop my ass.”

I smiled. “You’re right. That wouldn’t be a pretty sight.”

He held up his hands and wiggled his fingers. “Ohh, I’m scared.”

I stuck out my tongue and poked his nose as I replied. “Ah, but you should be.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He grinned.

The house was dark when we got there. I thanked Mike for giving me a nice day and he smiled as he insisted that he stay with me until my dad arrived. Walking up to the door, I turned the door knob to find it locked. I frowned as I looked at Mike.

“I don’t have a house key.”

He reached up to the top of the door frame and grabbed a silver key. He handed it to me, “they keep a spare.”

“And you know this how?”

“Aiden told me, well, showed me when I was crashing at his house late one night.”

Before I could say anything, dad’s car pulled up into the driveway. He cut off the ignition and stepped out of the car with a box of pizza in his hand. On the passenger side, Aiden stretched out of the car and they both walked over to us. Dad hugged me out of no where and pulled away with a smile.

“Hey.”

“Hello.” I replied back. Dad and Aiden both greeted Mike with one of there handshakes. “I see you brought pizza.”

“Yeah, I was thinking dinner and a movie, what you think?”

“I think it sounds very good.”

We were half way into the movie as I started to fall asleep. I was sitting between dad and Aiden, who was sitting next to Mike. I tried to stay awake but my eyelids felt heavy and my head slowly leaned on dad’s shoulder.


Trying to find a good movie to watch, I flipped through the channels until I gave up and shut off the T.V. before throwing the remote on the space next to me. I laid on my bed in silence trying to think of something to do. I finished my homework, cleaned the house, and I didn’t have to work today and for the first time I had nothing to do. I heard the front door slam, causing me to jump from surprise. I quietly slid off my bed and walked towards the peak of the stairs. The thunder from the rain outside shook the house as I heard my name being called by my mother.

My heart began to beat faster as I predicted what I was needed for and what was going to happen to me. She never really needed me when no one was here, except for me to feed her. She shouted my name twice as loud and I heard her and a man fighting. I saw shadows struggling and then one slowly creeping up the stairs. Panicking, I hurried over to my bedroom window and tried to open it but I never got it fixed so it was going to take some time to pry open. I heard heavy breathing behind me and then someone grabbed my hair. He roughly turned me around and faced me. I looked to my side and slowly began reaching for the lamp. As I had a steady grip on it, I swung it and hit his head. He groaned and stumbled backward as I managed to open the window. I climbed out with the rain pounding on me, as I wore nothing but a shirt and pajama pants. The man grabbed onto my ankle but I kicked his hand off but to my demise I fell off the roof onto the muddy ground. I groaned in pain as I felt pressure in my chest and back. I had to forget about the pain and get on with getting away from this house. I slowly stood up, holding my stomach and began limping out of the little back yard. I walked down a dirt road that was abandoned and sat behind a house. Now all I could do was wait.

I slowly opened my eyes with the rain still hitting me. I figured that he would be gone and my mother be passed out by now. I got up, my body feeling stiff and in pain, and began walking to my house. I arrived at the house with no car in the drive way, allowing me to sigh in relief. I slowly stepped up the concrete stairs to the backdoor of the house and pulled open the door. My shaking body made it difficult to stay calm and I had to find a way to clear my mind. As I entered the kitchen, I didn’t see anybody and I continued to walk towards the hallway to the living room. Taking a quiet step into the living room, my mother stepped in from the stairs that reach the second floor and looked at me. Her eyes were on fire and in rage as she stepped towards me and grabbed my hair as she began to yell.

“You good for nothing!” Her grip on my hair grew tighter but was released as she threw me to the floor. I held my cries because I knew better. Any sound that came from me while I was getting punished was unacceptable in her book. She stomped towards the coat closet and swung the door open, disappearing behind it. I choked on a sob as I started to slowly and quietly crawl away but before I could get any farther, she slammed the door and I laid still in my place. I turned my head to her direction as she met the two ends of the leather belt and tightened her grip on the end. I closed my eyes as she raised the belt in her hand in the air. I waited for her to hit me but then the sound of her cold voice seemed to force my eyes open. “Oh, no, no. You’re going to watch me beat your ass because why?” She asked in a mocking voice. I stayed quiet not knowing whether to answer her or not and as I did that, she got more annoyed. “Answer me!”

“I deserve it.” I answered as my body shook from being cold and in fear.

She smiled. “Why? I couldn’t quite hear you.”

I sniffled before I answered again. I knew she heard me but she just likes to see me suffer and in pain, all because she didn’t get the amount of drugs she wanted. Everything I did wasn’t good enough if it wasn’t for her happiness. “I-I deserve it.”

She nodded in approval as she smiled evilly and her grip grew tighter as she raised it higher in the air. Before another word was said, I could feel the hot stinging in my back and legs. She swung it repeatedly as she hit various parts of my body shouting profanities and insults. My body was radiating heat as the pain manifested throughout my back and stomach. After a few moments of more whippings, she stopped and grabbed a fistful of my hair as she pulled me up the stairs. She threw in a couple of whips as I had to crawl up the stairs. Reaching at the top of the stairs, we entered the bathroom and she threw me on the floor.

“Take of your clothes!” She commanded as she continued to crack the belt at my body. The pain became to much for me that I wanted to pass out but I knew that was forbidden. I took of my shirt and pants but that wasn’t enough for her. “Everything!” I stripped out of my undergarments and the beating stopped momentarily as she went over to the bath tub and started the water. What she was doing puzzled and worried me, she has never done such a thing to me. I squinted at the bath tub and noticed that smoke was coming from the water. I tried to escape but before I could she grabbed me by my upper arm and dragged me as I began to beg for her forgiveness. She threw me into the searing hot water and it felt like my skin was burning off. I screamed continually as she covered my face with her hand and started to drown me. I tried to fight her off but she was still my mother, and I was afraid of hurting her. She grabbed my hair and raised my head so that I could hear her hurtful words. “This is how the good part in hell feels like, honey! You think this is bad, wait until you really see how it is because that's where you're going. You couldn’t do one fucking thing for mommy, right?” I began to cry and choke on my sobs but the slap on my face was partially enough to keep me quiet for the moment. “All he wanted to do was fuck you, that’s it, to fuck you! And you couldn’t let him!” My head submerged into the water as she began to drown me again. I felt like I was being boiled in this water and it made my wounds more painful. She then dragged me out of the tub as she began to drain the water and then she turned on the water again to fill it once again. I was shaking from the sudden cold feeling of the tile floor. I was grabbed again and thrown into the ice cold water filled tub. I screamed again but louder feeling my body convulse from the touch of the cold water. Trying to fight my mother off, she grew angry and started hitting me with the belt again, repeatedly. I cried hard as this continued for what it seemed for hours. Then demanding me to get out she ordered me to go to my room and she hit me as I did.

I felt my skin tear in some places as she hit me harder and harder. I could tell she was still high and nothing and no one could save me. I began to beg her to stop due to the fact I wasn’t able to withstand the pain I was going through. But she kept going and going, smiling and laughing as I felt each blow of the belt.

Waking up from this terrible memory, I found myself on my bed, gripping my blanket on each side of my body as my breathing was labored. I looked at the glowing clock and it read twelve AM. I cursed at myself for falling asleep and thinking these things that still haunt me, why doesn’t my mind let it go, it has been over and done with for a month now. I know I haven’t had enough time to get over it but I feel like I should, I mean I’m starting over, a new life, and a new family. Sometimes I wonder if this is just a dream and when I wake up, there won’t me a happy ending in it for me. I laid back down on my bed and just stared at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to catch up to me.