My Immortal

Jo had talked to the lawyer the next day and everything was made, Zacky was spending more time with James, and it helped Jo to know that they got along. Roxy wasn’t happy about Jo’s desicion, but she couldn’t stop her from doing what she thought was best.

“How are you feeling?” Roxy asked as Jo was finishing packing James’ stuff. He was leaving in a couple of days with Zacky and she was dragging the packing.

“I’m good, I mean I’m as good as I can be, it feels good to not have to hide myself anymore.” Jo put the last of James’ shirts in the suitcase.

“You know you just used good, three times in one sentence,” Steph came in with a steaming cup of coffee.

“Your point?” Jo asked.

“Drink this,” Steph gave the cup she was holding to Jo. When she took a drink her face scrunched up.

“What is this?” Jo asked giving the cup back.

“Decaff,” Steph said with a smile on her face.

“You’re kidding me,” Jo didn’t even look at her.

“You can’t do your own shit anymore, that’s why we’re here.” Roxy said starting to fold some clothes.

“Whateves,” Jo said sitting on the bed.

“I hate that word and you know it,” Roxy didn’t sound very amused.

“What do you want me to say?” Jo asked leaning back against the pillows.

“What are you thinking?” Steph put the cup on the nightstand and picking up a picture of James and Jo in a park.

“Nah, I’m fine.”

“We all know what that means, now spill,” Roxy said not smiling.

“Look it’s for the best, that James doesn’t see me like that, he’s too young to go through this, what happens if I don’t make it through? He’s going to be crushed if his last memory of his mom is in a hospital bed attached to some machines,” Jo made valid points, but Roxy still thought she should tell Zacky he had a right to know.

“What about Zacky?” Steph asked before Roxy could find the words.

“He needs to focus on James, not me, besides what happened happened, we’re both grown up now, we’re not lingering to something that existed for one night a long time ago,” Jo ran her hand through her hair as she spoke.

“That’s not what I heard,” Roxy said.

“What have you heard?” Steph was sitting in the bed nudging Jo to pay attention.

“He was destroyed, even when you were in the coma, if you would of stuck around a little longer you would of seen how much he loved you, how in love with you he was with you, how he couldn’t pick the pieces up enough to get himself to move on.” Roxy spoke remembering Matt telling her one night.

“He got married, you were both there when I found out.” Jo didn’t want to talk about this but it seemed like they were not going to let it go until they did.

“Yeah, Jo, but it didn’t work out, hence why he’s not with her.” Roxy spoke in her relaxing voice.

“I don’t know...I don’t know anything anymore. James needs to see his dad. I can’t stand in the way of that. I just can’t.

“We know,” Steph said, “It doesn’t mean you have to be completely out of his life.”

“I know that but I can’t be there, I can’t put him through what I went through. Maybe I’ll make it but if I don’t I don’t want him to see me like that,” Jo finished folding the last piece of clothing and shut the suit case.

“Who are you talking about James or Zacky?” Roxy asked.

Jo didn’t say anything else, she just put the bag on the floor and lifted the handle. She left the room and the girls followed her. “Hey, momma,” James said, he was sitting on Zacky’s lap showing him his latest book. Telling him about the different animals.

“Hey baby,” Jo went down on one knee, and James ran to her. She hugged him and tried to keep the tears in, but it was really hard. “Ready to go?”

He nodded and thought for a bit before he spoke, “Are you sure you can’t come with us?” James asked.

“I’m sure baby, you need to spend some time with daddy,” she spoke the words she never in her life imagined she would say. She always felt like James was her son and her son only.

*Few Hours Later*

They drove to the airport in silence, James holding Jo’s hand not letting go. They unloaded their bags and found the gate. “Take good care of daddy,” Jo said as she hugged her son one last time.

“Take care of him,” she went up to Zacky. He didn’t hug her. Couldn’t look at her, just took his son’s hand and walked towards the gate.

“Bye momma,” James said not realizing that it might be the last time they might see eachother. She watched them disappear then she had her support next to her. Roxy was hugging her, and Steph was rubbing her back.

“Did I just make the worst mistake of my life?” Jo whispered.