The Webs We Weave

I tried desperately to cling onto my thoughts.

He said I was one of them.

I was, and that is what sucked.I wasn't ready for a kid yet, but I had to man up, it was time. "Ronnie, I would like to speak with him, can you please send him in." He looked torn and then nodded and exited. Max walked in looking happy, almost as though he knew I would want to see him. I knew Caitlyn was waiting outside, I just wished she really knew what kind of life she was getting herself into. She was so good and pure, and I was worried for her, but I was never one to say anything to people that I didn't know. "Hey clover." Max said grasping at my hand. I yanked it back and glared at him. "Max, I almost died a little while ago. Do you know how many times I have almost died? More than once Max, and the whole time you were never there, you arent there for anything, and yet time after time I forgave you because I had been sucked into a delusional land of cheap sex and drugs, and then you lied to me to take me away from Ronnie. Did it ever occur to you that maybe if you didn't lie we maybe could have been something?" He shook his head and looked away. "Do not look away Max, dont look away from me. Do you remember when we met?" He nodded and I sighed. "What was your thoughts right then and there?" "That I had never seen a girl like you in all of my years in Vegas, and that I wanted to get to know you, I thought we could be really good friends." "And when did that change Max, when did you become so undermining and minipulative?" He took a breath and sat down in the chair next to me.

"I guess it was when I realized that I was going to lose you. I had never liked a girl before, I was just like Ronnie, use a girl and never call them back, and I didn't want that to be you. I didn't want Ronnie to use you and throw you away, so I never told you I was like that hoping that you would stay around. Then Ronnie showed intrest in you and I felt threatened, I wanted you to myself, so I did what I felt I had to do." "Max, we were friends, and I will admit that I did like you. The moment I laid eyes on you I was trapped, and I still am, but we were friends. I mean I wanted more, but you were fucking me over all the time, and I was in love with Ronnie, and I always will be Max. I want to be friends with you, but I am no longer sure when you are genuine and when you're not. I have kids now and so do you dammit and it is time we quit being children and start being adults and fucking being parents. You can leave now, but Max, please dont come back unless you are done being like this. This asshole of a person you became." He nodded and left and I laid back.

"How did it go, what did you decide?" Ronnie said and I sighed. "What are you talking about Ronnie?" "Did you decide to go with him and Caitlyn?" "I just talked to him about something Ronnie relax, there is nothing happening, I have children now, I cant keep running off. How is Emery?" He smiled and his eyes sparkled, I loved that sparkle, I saw it everytime he looked at Katie and Emery, it was one of pure love. I used to see that sparkle when he looked at me, back before I ran the first time. I saw it everytime I closed my eyes, and alot of the time, that was all that kept me going, the need to prove to myself that he did still love me and I was not losing him.

I felt like I was losing him, the way he wouldn't look me in the eyes anymore, it made me feel like he was ashamed of everything I am. The way he pursed his lips when I spoke told me he was listening enough to repeat what I was saying, but he never really heard what I was saying. "Emery is beautiful, Nicky and Jen cried when they found out their names were part of hers, hey took Katie home to eat and stuff, the doctor said you can leave tomorrow if all of your vitals stay good." I nodded and looked at the table, it was covered in flowers and teddy bears from everyone. "Is Monte and Beth here? What about Robert and Omar?" "Uh...Monte and Beth are on their way, Omar will come tomorrow, and Robert is downstairs talking to Oliver and Curtis, as well as pretty much everyone from BMTH and FFTL, your sister is here as well." I gasped. "Why so many people?" "Alot of people love you Clover. Rider wants to know if you will allow her to come up with Matt and Derek." I nodded. "I am so tired of being angry Ronnie, so terribly tired." He nodded and left and I closed my eyes for a brief moment and sighed. Life was so complicated it seemed.

"Clover, are you awake?" I opened my eyes and saw Rider standing there, her stomach big and covered with a super cute baby doll dress. Her hair was bright blond again and she looked like her old self, and I felt a surge of hate flood through me, but swallowed it away. "Hey Rider, how are you?" "I am good, I mean I am as good as a seven month pregnant woman could possibly be, but that doesnt matter, how are you?" "I am a mom to two wonderful children and I have a man who loves me, and I am alive, what more could I ask for?" She pursed her lips and shooed the boys out of the room and closed the door and curtains. "Cut the bullshit, how are you?" I sighed and shook my head. "Rider, never have I been one to tell you secrets, but I am going to trust you this once, break my trust and I will not forgive you." She nodded and I smiled. "I am not sure how I am. I pretty much died today, Max came over and aparently wanted me to go with him and Caitlyn and live it up, and I have two kids that I am not sure I can take care of. I guess it hard for me to pascify everything right now." She nodded and grabbed my hand. "Clover, I have always been jealous of your strenght, and now is no different. You will make it thorugh this, I know you will." I nodded and took my hand away from her as Ronnie walked back in. "Hey Rider, how are you?" He asked a bitter tone to his voice, something had happened between the two of them. I sighed. "Okay guys, what is it? What happened? Tones like that dont come from nothing." He sighed. "Nothing clover, it is nothing importnant, just something with Emery." I looked at him, his face shown hate and it didnt take long. "You bitch, you were going to try and take my kids?" She looked at me with sympathetic eyes. "You said so yourself Clover, you cant be mommy." "Get the fuck out Rider, you will never be part of this family, ever. Get the fuck out, you will never see my kids and if I have to die to make sure of that I will see you in hell. Get the hell out of here, you were supposed to be my sister!" I screamed and she left chuckling. Ronnie walked over to me and I looked at him. "Call my dad and his girlfriend and tell him what is going on, ask him if we can use the lawyers, and tell him that I will not rest until that bitch is away from me and my family. I was foolish to think that anything had changed." He nodded and walked out of the room and I picked myself up. I needed to go and see my daughter, and then I needed to get the fuck out of here.