Letters To Rae Rae
July 23rd, 2012
Rae Rae,
It's been a long time. Too long, probably. I've written you some things in private, but not like I should be. Things have been a bit like a rollercoaster, though.
Alex and I are done for good. I haven't spoken to him in months, and it's for the best. You remember Doug? The boy I was with in seventh and eighth grade? We're back together. We lost contact for maybe.. Two or three years, and then out of the blue, he texts me last April. We talked through text mostly, then on June 18th, he called me at ten in the morning, asking me to come outside. In my pajamas, no makeup, and bed hair, I met him on the sidewalk and saw him for the first time in five years. There, we had our first kiss. We stayed talking and, even though it was a bad thing to do, I snuck to see him after I got my license. On October 8th, he proposed, but I still wasn't allowed to see him. Finally, I convinced Mom and Dad to let him take me to Prom. April 4th, we officially 'got together', though we had been secretly off and on for a year. I have his grandmother's engagement ring, but I still haven't brought myself to tell them where I got the ring (I started wearing it before they knew I had been seeing him).
You'd love Doug. He's so amazing to me. Next summer, after he graduates, he plans on either joining the Marines, or the Army, and I plan on being there every step of the way. We want to get married on June 18th next year, before he leaves for basic. Whether that's doable or not, we're not sure. But we want it more than anything. He's honest and kind. He'd do anything for me, or anyone he loves for that matter. He's even protective over Emma.
Emma. She's getting so big. She actually asks about you a lot. Even though she didn't know you that well, she misses you. She's going into the fourth grade this year, and I swear I've never seen a child as smart as her. She reads the dictionary for fun. We've gotten her numerous books and movies on dinosaurs, and she proved her smarts at the Dino Expo yesterday. I would ask her questions, and she would rattle off answers. There was a dino dig part, and she could tell just by the skeleton if it ate meat or plants, and she even determined what species it was. She's creative too. She writes all the time, and comes up with these elaborate stories to tell me and my friends.
It's going to be hard to leave her when I got to college next month. I'm going to Morehead. My ACT score got me full tuition, and with my KEES money and financial aid, I only have to pay like $300. I'm so blessed. I hope I've made you proud. Every little thing I do, I hope I've made you proud. I taught a French class to second and third grade students at Emma's school. It really made me realize how much I love kids, and how badly I want to teach. I became so attached to those kids, that I cried on the last day.
Last October, I visited your grave for the first time since you were first buried. I had to take cemetery pictures for a class, so Doug came with me to the cemetery. It was easier than I thought to be up there, but it was still hard. I felt guilty for not having been there in a long time. I went back again on Memorial Day, and I painted a purple butterfly for you. I haven't been up since to see if it was still there. I hope it is. Doug went with me then, too. I've decided, when I have kids, my first little girl is going to be named Raechel Aidan.
Everyone else is doing well. Nana and Papaw are still in the same place, and doing well. Papaw still sells his woodwork at various places, and during Labor Day weekend, I'm going to sell tie dyes at his woodwork booth. Nana Sheryl is doing fairly well, for having had a stroke. We just wish her feet would get better. Mom and Dad are, well, Mom and Dad. Haha. We have our battles, but we stay close.
I move into Morehead August 17th. Nana Janet made me a scrapbook of all my years in school, and I'm taking that with me because it has things of me and you in it. Of course, my teddy bear is going with me. Part of me wants to keep it in my purse at all times, though. I don't want it to go missing. I don't know what I'd do without it. Irlene gave me your old dance bag, and I take it on just about every trip now. The more things I have of you, the more I cherish. Hopefully one day, I'll have enough to pass to my little girl(s), and keep your memories alive.
That's all for now. I'll write again in a few days.
I love and miss you.
-Kaitlin
It's been a long time. Too long, probably. I've written you some things in private, but not like I should be. Things have been a bit like a rollercoaster, though.
Alex and I are done for good. I haven't spoken to him in months, and it's for the best. You remember Doug? The boy I was with in seventh and eighth grade? We're back together. We lost contact for maybe.. Two or three years, and then out of the blue, he texts me last April. We talked through text mostly, then on June 18th, he called me at ten in the morning, asking me to come outside. In my pajamas, no makeup, and bed hair, I met him on the sidewalk and saw him for the first time in five years. There, we had our first kiss. We stayed talking and, even though it was a bad thing to do, I snuck to see him after I got my license. On October 8th, he proposed, but I still wasn't allowed to see him. Finally, I convinced Mom and Dad to let him take me to Prom. April 4th, we officially 'got together', though we had been secretly off and on for a year. I have his grandmother's engagement ring, but I still haven't brought myself to tell them where I got the ring (I started wearing it before they knew I had been seeing him).
You'd love Doug. He's so amazing to me. Next summer, after he graduates, he plans on either joining the Marines, or the Army, and I plan on being there every step of the way. We want to get married on June 18th next year, before he leaves for basic. Whether that's doable or not, we're not sure. But we want it more than anything. He's honest and kind. He'd do anything for me, or anyone he loves for that matter. He's even protective over Emma.
Emma. She's getting so big. She actually asks about you a lot. Even though she didn't know you that well, she misses you. She's going into the fourth grade this year, and I swear I've never seen a child as smart as her. She reads the dictionary for fun. We've gotten her numerous books and movies on dinosaurs, and she proved her smarts at the Dino Expo yesterday. I would ask her questions, and she would rattle off answers. There was a dino dig part, and she could tell just by the skeleton if it ate meat or plants, and she even determined what species it was. She's creative too. She writes all the time, and comes up with these elaborate stories to tell me and my friends.
It's going to be hard to leave her when I got to college next month. I'm going to Morehead. My ACT score got me full tuition, and with my KEES money and financial aid, I only have to pay like $300. I'm so blessed. I hope I've made you proud. Every little thing I do, I hope I've made you proud. I taught a French class to second and third grade students at Emma's school. It really made me realize how much I love kids, and how badly I want to teach. I became so attached to those kids, that I cried on the last day.
Last October, I visited your grave for the first time since you were first buried. I had to take cemetery pictures for a class, so Doug came with me to the cemetery. It was easier than I thought to be up there, but it was still hard. I felt guilty for not having been there in a long time. I went back again on Memorial Day, and I painted a purple butterfly for you. I haven't been up since to see if it was still there. I hope it is. Doug went with me then, too. I've decided, when I have kids, my first little girl is going to be named Raechel Aidan.
Everyone else is doing well. Nana and Papaw are still in the same place, and doing well. Papaw still sells his woodwork at various places, and during Labor Day weekend, I'm going to sell tie dyes at his woodwork booth. Nana Sheryl is doing fairly well, for having had a stroke. We just wish her feet would get better. Mom and Dad are, well, Mom and Dad. Haha. We have our battles, but we stay close.
I move into Morehead August 17th. Nana Janet made me a scrapbook of all my years in school, and I'm taking that with me because it has things of me and you in it. Of course, my teddy bear is going with me. Part of me wants to keep it in my purse at all times, though. I don't want it to go missing. I don't know what I'd do without it. Irlene gave me your old dance bag, and I take it on just about every trip now. The more things I have of you, the more I cherish. Hopefully one day, I'll have enough to pass to my little girl(s), and keep your memories alive.
That's all for now. I'll write again in a few days.
I love and miss you.
-Kaitlin