Exposed In Lights

I hung at the side of the stage alone as Demi showered, she had just came off stage and was all sweaty. The idea of hanging around and watching the guys perform was becoming more dominant. I sat on top of a spare amplifier playing Pac-Man on my iPhone. I was loosing.

“If you go up there then you’ll get trapped and eaten.” I smiled and went the other way. Joe jumped up next to me and watched me play. “Eat that ball, and then they go blue—”

“I know how to play Pac-Man Joe.” I giggled and leaned against him. “Here, you have a go.”

I handed the phone to him and watched him as he expertly beat the game. I scowled at the smug look on his face when he handed it back to me. “I have to go to lockdown.”

I sighed, I probably would have went with him if it weren’t for Nick. “I’m going to go soon.” He gave me a hug from the floor.

“I’ll talk to you later.” He shouted as he jogged away. I jumped off the amp and picked my bag up from the floor.

I quickly left the building after shooting a ‘goodbye’ to Demi who was crashing in her dressing room completely exhausted from the show. I didn’t get noticed by anyone as I crossed the back lot to my car, most people were inside to be honest.

I sat in my car with the heating on wondering if I should just sneak back in and watch them, they don’t even have to know I am. I could just stand at the back of the crowd, blending in with everyone. I listened to the full of Fall Out Boy’s album ‘Foile A Duex’ which killed an hour, they would be on stage now.

“Fuck it.” I said to myself and climbed out the car. I stood in a corner at the back of the venue with my pass under my shirt, the darkness was helping keep me hidden but I was on edge and not really watching the show. I was a paranoid person anyway so I always thought people were looking at me.

But when I did relax… something looked off, Nick looked pale as if he was going to throw up and sometimes wobbled a bit on his feet. I’d seen it before. I rushed out of the arena and to the bar. “Can I have the highest energy drink you have and one of those energy bar things?” I asked quickly, waving my arms around in a blind panic. I placed some money on the counter not bothering to check how much it was.

The bartender handed me a Red Bull and a bar that I didn’t take time to look at, I ran backstage not even being stopped by security who knew who I was. I sped through the corridors and carefully snuck behind the drum set and then behind the amps gaining odd looks from Jack who was trying to concentrate on playing.

Once I got to Nick’s side of the stage I waved my arms around trying to get his attention, not one of the three of them looked at me. I let out a frustrated growl and went to the sound board that controlled the microphones, “Hey Carl, can I use you microphone to talk to Nick it’s an emergency.”

Carl nodded and I put on his headset, I watched him flick numerous switches, “Talk.”

“Nick, stop being an idiot and come backstage. If you don’t you’ll collapse on stage. I’ve got an energy drink and bar back here just come back here, eat and drink them I’ll play for you.” I said speedily.

Nick turned to look at me from the stage. We kept eye contact until it was he finally gave me the nod, I grinned and grabbed the food and drink. I placed them on the floor beside the stage and ran out during the middle of the song, Nick kept playing until he had a break then he slung his guitar over me and I carried on playing for him.

I played as I ran over to Kevin and shouted, “Nick’s sugar is low. I noticed from the back, I bought him some high energy shit and he’s trying to get it up. Get Big Rob to tell your Mom.” I shouted then jogged over to Joe who was nervously singing Nick’s parts to ‘Australia.’

I told him the same story then watched him as he wandered off to the drum set. The microphone! Why the hell didn’t I think of that? I sighed to my self and carried on trying to play Nick’s guitar that hung past my hips.

I stood close to Garbo so I could see what was going on, Nick was eating and drinking so much and his Mom was frantically messing around with his diabetes kit. I quickly ran over to the side of the stage and an earpiece was shoved into my ear, the next thing I heard was Paul’s voice. “Julia, can you play ‘Video Girl’ please?”

I played at the microphone until the song ended and then headed to the microphone at the drum kit. “Yeah, will he be okay by the end of the song?”

“Yes, he just needs to sit down and wait until it goes up.” I heard him say.

“Okay, Joe or Kevin you guys need to explain to the crowd what’s going on. They have no idea and are pretty pissed I’ve kicked Nick off stage.”

I was so over come with worry I couldn’t stop looking to see what was going on. I wiped my sweaty hands on my tights and then hitched up my shorts. I ignored Joe as he told the crowd what was going on.

Joe looked at me expecting me to say something to the crowd who had erupted into conversation. “We’re going to play a song in the mean time, Nick doesn’t sing that much in this song so Kevin can just sing and I’ll do this…” I paused and grinned. “Oh em gee! Did you hear I’m dating a Jonas Brother? It’s so hot!” I said imitating Meaghan perfectly.

Everyone sung along none the less, I played as best I could but I kept messing up bits. I shot nervous glances to the side of the stage wondering when he was coming. I let out a massive smile when he rushed onto stage.

“It’s not enough it’s never enough.” I sung into the microphone. I took off Nick’s guitar quickly and he put it back over him, I waved to the crowd and ran over to Kevin. I gave him a pat on the shoulder then shouted, “I’m going to go home.”

I went to run off but he stopped in front of me, “Say goodbye to Nick.” He demanded.

I sighed and jogged back across the stage. This was starting to get annoying now. “I have to go.” I told Joe on the way then I told Nick who nodded at me and mouthed ‘thanks’ to me. I nodded back and waved to the crowd as I ran off stage, Denise was the first to grip me in a hug.

“Thank you so much, I can’t believe I didn’t notice!” She cried, I hugged her then broke away.

“Please tell me you aren’t taking off.” Paul asked as he noticed me pick up my bag. “We’d appreciate it if you’d stay.”

“I’m sorry, I’m taking my brothers to school in the morning and I need sleep.” I lied quickly, I wasn’t.

“Oh, okay. Thanks again, Julia.” I smiled and headed out.

On the drive home my mind wandered to what I had just done, everything was buzzing around my head like a tornado whipping everything about. It was hard to focus on anything. Even as I lay in bed my mind spun, so much I eventually forced down some sleeping tablets.

* * *

I stared at my self in the mirror critcally. I was wearing a black dress that expanded out and had red and purple netting spreading out of the bottom on the dress. A pair of red tights decorated my legs and two sleek black heels made me taller. My hair was larger with all the moose and hair spray added to enlarge it, a black flower sat on the left hand side of my head, attached to a black hair band. My eyes were dark which emphasized my striking blue eyes.

I played with the pearls around my neck as I walked down the corridor of the make shift dressing rooms. I was heading to my shoot and I was pretty nervous, I was good at photo shoots but if I wasn’t into them I was complete rubbish.

The shoot was based around the title of my new album; Don’t Pet The Leopard. I named it that for many reasons, it was a way of saying ‘don’t mess with me’ or else basically you get a song about you and get humiliated. So in the shoot I had a leopard cub and they were going to digitally add an angry leopard behind me. Of course I had made sure that the baby wasn’t being separated from its mother had rejected it at an animal park and it was being hand reared.

I was walking with a black sheet around me to shield me from paparazzi, the cover was under complete wraps. When I got to the outside park there were security everywhere and black boards all around the area stopping paparazzi from getting a photo.

“Julia!” Eric Wilson, the photographer, called. “Are you ready?” He asked as the keeper brought the leopard over to me.

Make up artists and hair stylists attacked me as I stood stationary. “Totally ready.” I shouted.

“We’re going to have you sitting on that log for the cover shoot pictures and some of you on the grass too. Then for the booklet pictures we’re going to have you alone. We’re going for a happy, giddy kind of vibe so nothing to serious. Just relax and do what ever you feel like.”

“Awesome.” I smiled and sat down on the log, creative directors messed around with my positionings.

The keeper with the leopard came over to me, “This is Sasha she’s twenty weeks old and is very playful. If she bites it wont hurt because her teeth aren’t that sharp yet, don’t make any loud noises or do anything that could spook her and you’ll be fine.”

She placed the adorable leopard on my lap, it was like a fluffy puppy except cuter. Camera flashes started and I played with the cub on my lap, I picked a leaf up from the ground and waved it around in the air and the cub started pawing the air for it. “Beautiful Julia!”

I went on like that for an hour then I did my individual pictures which took less time, they looked amazing though and I had already picked out my cover. The cover would be a one of me grinning down at the cub as it pawed at the air cutely. There was a tree right behind us where the mother leopard would be inserted using CGI.

“Hey girlie!” I smiled widely at Joe who waved from behind the photographer.

“She’s almost done.” I heard Mike say to him, Joe sat down in my chair and watched me.

“Kick your leg through the leaves!” Eric asked, I kicked the leaves smiling widely. My face actually hurt from smiling so much but now I was smiling genuinely because I was almost done.
Five minutes later I was done, I pulled on a black jacket over my arms to try and warm up a bit then I walked to my dressing room with Joe. “So, what’s with the random drop in?” I asked chugging down some coke.

“I just wanted to say thanks for last night.” Something about his tone and body language gave the impression that wasn’t all of it. I raised my eye brow at him.

“No you didn’t. Spit it out Joe.” I smiled and placed my can of coke on the table.

He sighed, “I just thought I should tell you before you find out through some gossip website,” I stared at him, waiting. “Nick is going on a date tonight with a girl called Amy.”

My face fell, I pulled my feet up onto the sofa not caring my heels were digging into the cushion. I wrapped my arms around my thighs then dropped my legs to the side so I had my legs crossed. “Oh.” I choked out.

“I’m sorry, but things might get better just wait.” Joe stood up and left without a word leaving me to dwell on things.

Okay, it wasn’t the end of the world. So he had a date? I could get a date. Maybe I should give up and move on, I could get a new boyfriend with the click of my fingers. But he wouldn’t be as good as Nick. But I could still get one.

I felt like I had something to prove now. I pulled my phone out and dialled a number I swore I never would. “Hello?”

“Hey Taylor, urm… wanna hang out?”