Clash Of The Rockbands
Bad News and a Lost Zen
‘I kissed a girl, and I liked it, the taste of her cherry Chapstick...’
With a low groan, I slung my arm over to my nightstand. My fingers scuttled quickly across the wood until they felt cool metal. I scooped my cell phone up and flipped it open.
“Hello?” I answered groggily, putting it to my ear. I didn’t even bother to open my eyes.
“Is this Melrose Carlyle?” an unrecognizable female voice asked politely.
“Yep, congratulations, you got her.” I answered.
“This is Indianapolis Community Hospital, and we have a couple here whose names are Earl Henry Carlyle and Patricia Belle Carlyle. Are they your parents?” the female voice answered.
“Yeah,” I answered. My eyes popped open and I slowly began to shove myself into a sitting position.
“We are aware of the fact that you are currently in California.” the female voice stated. “But your parents are currently in critical condition, but both are stable. The doctors aren’t sure how long their stability will last, though.”
“What...What happened?”
“It is the season for icy, slick roads, Miss Carlyle, and their car skidded off of the road. It hit the ditch just right and started to roll, finally stopping once it had hit a tree. The car wrapped around the tree pretty much. Their condition is no surprise with the severity of the crash.”
My blood ran cold at her words. Indiana winters, especially in the more northern areas, can become pretty rough. The roads become icy and treacherous. And my parents aren’t as young and springy as they used to be.
“I...I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I found myself saying without any conscious thought. My brain had gone into auto-pilot.
“I’ll give you the address.” the female voice offered. I reached over and pulled the string on my lamp. The lamp came to life, splashing its golden light all over the room. I seized a pen and pad of paper off of the nightstand and scribbled down the address that she gave me. “Someone will call if either of your parents’ conditions worsens.”
“Thank you,” I said, still on auto-pilot.
“Good-bye, Miss Carlyle,” the female voice said.
“Bye,” I whispered before closing my cell phone. The cool metallic rectangle slipped out of my loose fingers into my lap. Sudden realization slammed into me like a runaway freight train: I could lose my parents.
Without any conscious thought of any sort, I sprung out of bed and out of my room. I strode across the landing and burst into Rayne’s room. She shot up into a sitting position, squinting in the dim light thrown across the landing from my room.
“Mel, are there monsters in your closet?” she asked seriously. I shook my head no, finding my throat too constricted to speak. “Well, then what is it?”
I think my bursting into wracking sobs answered her question.
James’s POV
I woke up when I heard my cell phone vibrate noisily against the wood of my nightstand. I grabbed my cell phone and flipped it open before putting it groggily to my ear.
“Go away.” I said by way of greeting.
“Oh, what I would give to not be calling you right now.” Rayne’s voice answered. I could hear someone sniffling noisily in the background.
“Rayne, what is it?”
“I’m just calling in Melrose’s stead.”
“Get on with it, Rayne. I’m a tired man. I want to go back to sleep.”
“Melrose is quite emotional right now, which is why she couldn’t call you herself. I could barely understand her when she was explaining things to me, but I think I get the general picture.”
“Stop beating around the bush, Rayne.”
“Melrose’s parents were in a car crash earlier tonight in Indiana and she wants you to accompany us back to Indiana to see them.” Rayne said quickly.
“How serious was the car crash?” I asked, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
“Pretty damn,” Rayne answered. “They’re both in critical condition.”
“And Melrose wants me to come with you guys to see her parents?”
“Yeah,” Rayne said. “She says that she needs you there too.”
“I’ll come.” I answered instantly. “She doesn’t need a reason.”
“Let me...t-talk to h-him.” I heard Melrose say around sniffles. “I’m sorry to w-wake you up.”
“Oh, babe, it’s fine.” I said as soothingly as I could. It’s pretty difficult to sooth someone over the phone.
“We’re c-catching a fl-flight in an hour.” Melrose continued. “Just bring enough clothes for four or five days. We might not be there l-long.”
“Alright,” I replied, turning my lamp on and springing up to search for a suitcase.
“I j-just don’t know what I’ll do if my p-parents d-die.” Melrose continued, still sniffing occasionally.
“Don’t think that way, Mel.” I told her as I slung a suitcase onto the bed and began to hunt for clothes. “Think positive.” There was silence for a few moments before Melrose replied.
“I’ll t-try.” After another short pause, she continued, “Well, I b-better let you go. You’ll need to p-pack, and I still need t-to.”
“Bye, love,” I said sadly.
“I love you.” Melrose whispered back.
“I love you too.”
“Farewell, darling.” Melrose said.
“Farewell.” With a faint click, Melrose hung up. I closed the phone, dropped it on the bed next to the suitcase, and continued to pack.
**********
The airport terminal appeared to be rather empty as I walked through the glass double doors with my suitcase in tow. Across the terminal, in the waiting area, sat all the girls. Melrose sat facing away from me, curled up into a tiny ball on her seat. After paying for my ticket and going through security, I walked over to them. Melrose raised her head as I walked up. The skin around her emerald green eyes shone red from crying, and glistening tear stains tracked down her cheeks.
She uncoiled herself from her tight ball of misery and flung herself into my arms. I wrapped my arms tightly around her as she buried her face in my chest/shoulder area, her arms wound tightly around my ribs. I turned and sat back down in her seat. Melrose, her arms still fastened around my ribcage, curled up in my lap, burrowing her face further into my chest.
“The plane’s set to leave in about twenty minutes.” Rayne explained, her eyes falling sadly upon Melrose. “We’ll pay for your ticket if you want.”
“No, it’s fine.” I replied, placing my cheek against the top of Melrose’s head.
“Flight 47 now boarding,” a voice blared out of the intercom overhead a little while later.
“That’s us.” Rayne said, pushing herself to her feet. Melrose gingerly released my ribs and crawled out of my lap. We all grabbed our luggage and headed over to where the conveyor belt took our suitcases out to the plane.
Melrose’s POV
The small plane we got on was nearly empty. There were only seven to ten other people on the plane. We all sat down in our seats, which were all in the same row. I sat at the window seat and stared sadly out onto the dark tarmac. I felt James’s hand land lightly on my leg and squeeze reassuringly. Without looking at him, I placed my hand gently upon his, lacing my fingers with his.
After about ten minutes, a female flight attendant stepped through the curtain separating the passenger part of the plane from the staff part of the plane.
“Please, everyone, clip your seatbelts for take-off.” she said loudly. We all strapped ourselves in and waited patiently for take-off.
Once we were up in the air, most of the other passengers grabbed pillows and began to doze off. I didn’t have such a luxury. I tried extremely hard to fall asleep, but my mind felt so jumbled up with a billion different thoughts, mainly miserable, pessimistic ones, that I just couldn’t relax. After about twenty minutes of attempted-sleep, I snapped my eyes open. With slight difficulty, I crossed my legs Indian-style—which is indeed very hard in an airplane seat—and placed my hands gently on my thighs, palms down. I closed my eyes again, going into total meditation mode: I was going to find my Zen.
For those of you who are unaware of what your Zen is, or do know what a Zen is but haven’t got a clue what my idea of Zen is, MY idea of finding your Zen is when everything around you falls completely away. When you have reached your Zen, you are aware of nothing but the beating of your own heart and the inflation and deflation of your lungs. There are no thoughts scrolling across your mind to distract you; there are no noises to disturb you. You are only aware of your own bodily workings: heartbeats, breathing, the blood flowing through your veins. You can’t hear any external sounds; you can’t feel any external objects. All you can feel is the thumping of your heart against your ribcage.
I often retract into my place of Zen when I am so extremely stressed I can’t even concentrate. It is usually before a big concert, or an interview, or whatever. But sometimes I just pull away from everything to just pull away. Sometimes it’s nice to just forget about everything else for a little while, aware of nothing but what makes you tick.
But then I just wanted to stop being miserable. Being miserable is pretty much anti-Melrose. I am either happy, or I’m just not Melrose. And I wanted to continue to be Melrose.
But my Zen seemed to be blocked off with fancy-schmancy CSI yellow police tape stuff. No matter how hard I tried, everything stayed in place. My thoughts continued to distract me; the noise of the airplane still droned in my ears. I could still feel the seat beneath me, and James’s hand on my knee.
I began to panic a bit. I couldn’t find my Zen! I couldn’t retract into myself! What would I do!? If I couldn’t fall away from it all, I would surely just drive myself into insanity!
My eyes popped open.
“I can’t find my place of Zen!” I shout-whispered. My gaze flittered around, never staying on one spot for more than a second. “I have to find my place of Zen!” I knew that I would have a complete nervous breakdown eventually, but I hadn’t figured that it would be over something like this. But that’s what was happening. I began to rock back and forth, my eyes still flitting around the cabin of the plane. I curled one of my hands into a fist and sank my teeth into one of my knuckles, still rocking back and forth.
“What?” James asked quietly.
“My Zen!” I answered, looking over at him with eyes sparkling with new tears. “I can’t find it!”
“You...forgot something?” he asked hesitantly.
“NO!” I cried. “I can’t find my Zen! My place of peace!”
“Melrose, I’m sorry, but I can’t understand what you can’t find.” James replied. I knew he was tired. But I didn’t have the calmness to explain it to him.
Jen to the rescue!
“Her Zen is the place where she goes when she meditates.” Jen explained in a quiet voice to James. “Everything around her just falls away, including thoughts and all her senses. Now is one of the worst times for her to lose it.”
“Oh...” James replied. He looked back over at me. Tears now tracked down my face, gouging trails out of my cheeks once more. I could tell he had no clue how to comfort me, just from the confusion in his eyes.
“Just...consider me unsoothable for the time-being.” I whispered. But James just wrapped an arm around me and pulled me against him. I wiped my tears away with the palm of my hand, resting my head against his shoulder. And, surprisingly, I found myself falling asleep.
With a low groan, I slung my arm over to my nightstand. My fingers scuttled quickly across the wood until they felt cool metal. I scooped my cell phone up and flipped it open.
“Hello?” I answered groggily, putting it to my ear. I didn’t even bother to open my eyes.
“Is this Melrose Carlyle?” an unrecognizable female voice asked politely.
“Yep, congratulations, you got her.” I answered.
“This is Indianapolis Community Hospital, and we have a couple here whose names are Earl Henry Carlyle and Patricia Belle Carlyle. Are they your parents?” the female voice answered.
“Yeah,” I answered. My eyes popped open and I slowly began to shove myself into a sitting position.
“We are aware of the fact that you are currently in California.” the female voice stated. “But your parents are currently in critical condition, but both are stable. The doctors aren’t sure how long their stability will last, though.”
“What...What happened?”
“It is the season for icy, slick roads, Miss Carlyle, and their car skidded off of the road. It hit the ditch just right and started to roll, finally stopping once it had hit a tree. The car wrapped around the tree pretty much. Their condition is no surprise with the severity of the crash.”
My blood ran cold at her words. Indiana winters, especially in the more northern areas, can become pretty rough. The roads become icy and treacherous. And my parents aren’t as young and springy as they used to be.
“I...I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I found myself saying without any conscious thought. My brain had gone into auto-pilot.
“I’ll give you the address.” the female voice offered. I reached over and pulled the string on my lamp. The lamp came to life, splashing its golden light all over the room. I seized a pen and pad of paper off of the nightstand and scribbled down the address that she gave me. “Someone will call if either of your parents’ conditions worsens.”
“Thank you,” I said, still on auto-pilot.
“Good-bye, Miss Carlyle,” the female voice said.
“Bye,” I whispered before closing my cell phone. The cool metallic rectangle slipped out of my loose fingers into my lap. Sudden realization slammed into me like a runaway freight train: I could lose my parents.
Without any conscious thought of any sort, I sprung out of bed and out of my room. I strode across the landing and burst into Rayne’s room. She shot up into a sitting position, squinting in the dim light thrown across the landing from my room.
“Mel, are there monsters in your closet?” she asked seriously. I shook my head no, finding my throat too constricted to speak. “Well, then what is it?”
I think my bursting into wracking sobs answered her question.
James’s POV
I woke up when I heard my cell phone vibrate noisily against the wood of my nightstand. I grabbed my cell phone and flipped it open before putting it groggily to my ear.
“Go away.” I said by way of greeting.
“Oh, what I would give to not be calling you right now.” Rayne’s voice answered. I could hear someone sniffling noisily in the background.
“Rayne, what is it?”
“I’m just calling in Melrose’s stead.”
“Get on with it, Rayne. I’m a tired man. I want to go back to sleep.”
“Melrose is quite emotional right now, which is why she couldn’t call you herself. I could barely understand her when she was explaining things to me, but I think I get the general picture.”
“Stop beating around the bush, Rayne.”
“Melrose’s parents were in a car crash earlier tonight in Indiana and she wants you to accompany us back to Indiana to see them.” Rayne said quickly.
“How serious was the car crash?” I asked, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
“Pretty damn,” Rayne answered. “They’re both in critical condition.”
“And Melrose wants me to come with you guys to see her parents?”
“Yeah,” Rayne said. “She says that she needs you there too.”
“I’ll come.” I answered instantly. “She doesn’t need a reason.”
“Let me...t-talk to h-him.” I heard Melrose say around sniffles. “I’m sorry to w-wake you up.”
“Oh, babe, it’s fine.” I said as soothingly as I could. It’s pretty difficult to sooth someone over the phone.
“We’re c-catching a fl-flight in an hour.” Melrose continued. “Just bring enough clothes for four or five days. We might not be there l-long.”
“Alright,” I replied, turning my lamp on and springing up to search for a suitcase.
“I j-just don’t know what I’ll do if my p-parents d-die.” Melrose continued, still sniffing occasionally.
“Don’t think that way, Mel.” I told her as I slung a suitcase onto the bed and began to hunt for clothes. “Think positive.” There was silence for a few moments before Melrose replied.
“I’ll t-try.” After another short pause, she continued, “Well, I b-better let you go. You’ll need to p-pack, and I still need t-to.”
“Bye, love,” I said sadly.
“I love you.” Melrose whispered back.
“I love you too.”
“Farewell, darling.” Melrose said.
“Farewell.” With a faint click, Melrose hung up. I closed the phone, dropped it on the bed next to the suitcase, and continued to pack.
**********
The airport terminal appeared to be rather empty as I walked through the glass double doors with my suitcase in tow. Across the terminal, in the waiting area, sat all the girls. Melrose sat facing away from me, curled up into a tiny ball on her seat. After paying for my ticket and going through security, I walked over to them. Melrose raised her head as I walked up. The skin around her emerald green eyes shone red from crying, and glistening tear stains tracked down her cheeks.
She uncoiled herself from her tight ball of misery and flung herself into my arms. I wrapped my arms tightly around her as she buried her face in my chest/shoulder area, her arms wound tightly around my ribs. I turned and sat back down in her seat. Melrose, her arms still fastened around my ribcage, curled up in my lap, burrowing her face further into my chest.
“The plane’s set to leave in about twenty minutes.” Rayne explained, her eyes falling sadly upon Melrose. “We’ll pay for your ticket if you want.”
“No, it’s fine.” I replied, placing my cheek against the top of Melrose’s head.
“Flight 47 now boarding,” a voice blared out of the intercom overhead a little while later.
“That’s us.” Rayne said, pushing herself to her feet. Melrose gingerly released my ribs and crawled out of my lap. We all grabbed our luggage and headed over to where the conveyor belt took our suitcases out to the plane.
Melrose’s POV
The small plane we got on was nearly empty. There were only seven to ten other people on the plane. We all sat down in our seats, which were all in the same row. I sat at the window seat and stared sadly out onto the dark tarmac. I felt James’s hand land lightly on my leg and squeeze reassuringly. Without looking at him, I placed my hand gently upon his, lacing my fingers with his.
After about ten minutes, a female flight attendant stepped through the curtain separating the passenger part of the plane from the staff part of the plane.
“Please, everyone, clip your seatbelts for take-off.” she said loudly. We all strapped ourselves in and waited patiently for take-off.
Once we were up in the air, most of the other passengers grabbed pillows and began to doze off. I didn’t have such a luxury. I tried extremely hard to fall asleep, but my mind felt so jumbled up with a billion different thoughts, mainly miserable, pessimistic ones, that I just couldn’t relax. After about twenty minutes of attempted-sleep, I snapped my eyes open. With slight difficulty, I crossed my legs Indian-style—which is indeed very hard in an airplane seat—and placed my hands gently on my thighs, palms down. I closed my eyes again, going into total meditation mode: I was going to find my Zen.
For those of you who are unaware of what your Zen is, or do know what a Zen is but haven’t got a clue what my idea of Zen is, MY idea of finding your Zen is when everything around you falls completely away. When you have reached your Zen, you are aware of nothing but the beating of your own heart and the inflation and deflation of your lungs. There are no thoughts scrolling across your mind to distract you; there are no noises to disturb you. You are only aware of your own bodily workings: heartbeats, breathing, the blood flowing through your veins. You can’t hear any external sounds; you can’t feel any external objects. All you can feel is the thumping of your heart against your ribcage.
I often retract into my place of Zen when I am so extremely stressed I can’t even concentrate. It is usually before a big concert, or an interview, or whatever. But sometimes I just pull away from everything to just pull away. Sometimes it’s nice to just forget about everything else for a little while, aware of nothing but what makes you tick.
But then I just wanted to stop being miserable. Being miserable is pretty much anti-Melrose. I am either happy, or I’m just not Melrose. And I wanted to continue to be Melrose.
But my Zen seemed to be blocked off with fancy-schmancy CSI yellow police tape stuff. No matter how hard I tried, everything stayed in place. My thoughts continued to distract me; the noise of the airplane still droned in my ears. I could still feel the seat beneath me, and James’s hand on my knee.
I began to panic a bit. I couldn’t find my Zen! I couldn’t retract into myself! What would I do!? If I couldn’t fall away from it all, I would surely just drive myself into insanity!
My eyes popped open.
“I can’t find my place of Zen!” I shout-whispered. My gaze flittered around, never staying on one spot for more than a second. “I have to find my place of Zen!” I knew that I would have a complete nervous breakdown eventually, but I hadn’t figured that it would be over something like this. But that’s what was happening. I began to rock back and forth, my eyes still flitting around the cabin of the plane. I curled one of my hands into a fist and sank my teeth into one of my knuckles, still rocking back and forth.
“What?” James asked quietly.
“My Zen!” I answered, looking over at him with eyes sparkling with new tears. “I can’t find it!”
“You...forgot something?” he asked hesitantly.
“NO!” I cried. “I can’t find my Zen! My place of peace!”
“Melrose, I’m sorry, but I can’t understand what you can’t find.” James replied. I knew he was tired. But I didn’t have the calmness to explain it to him.
Jen to the rescue!
“Her Zen is the place where she goes when she meditates.” Jen explained in a quiet voice to James. “Everything around her just falls away, including thoughts and all her senses. Now is one of the worst times for her to lose it.”
“Oh...” James replied. He looked back over at me. Tears now tracked down my face, gouging trails out of my cheeks once more. I could tell he had no clue how to comfort me, just from the confusion in his eyes.
“Just...consider me unsoothable for the time-being.” I whispered. But James just wrapped an arm around me and pulled me against him. I wiped my tears away with the palm of my hand, resting my head against his shoulder. And, surprisingly, I found myself falling asleep.
♠ ♠ ♠
Heyloo.And so the drama begins. haha.
Comments?