Clash Of The Rockbands
Hatred
AM’s POV
Is it usual to want to love someone until the end of eternity one day, and then the next day want to just bludgeon him to death with a Spork because you hate him so much?
I didn’t think so.
But that’s honestly what happened between Zack and I. Literally, I went to bed loving that man with all my heart, and woke up the next morning prepared to gnaw his arm off so I could get away from him.
I wasn’t sure where all this hatred came from. It scared me at first. It felt powerful, burrowing deep down into the roots of my heart, and I knew I couldn’t control it. It also felt strange; I’d never hated Zack in my whole life. But then, just BLAM, out of nowhere, a murderous, violent hate erupted in my chest. I swallowed it down; I knew I didn’t hate Zack.
Didn’t I love him?
I survived being near him that day. He didn’t seem to have that powerful hate building in his chest. For his sake, I swallowed my hate. I’d never felt so confused. He kept asking me what’s wrong; I kept saying that I didn’t feel that good. I just didn’t know what was happening: Was I diseased? Had I caught the break-up plague that seemed to float around this tour? It struck Rayne and Syn’s and Matt and Jen’s relationships. Had it struck mine as well?
The next day, my hatred got worse. Everything Zack did annoyed me. I snapped at the poor guy all day for little things that he did every other day that I had no problem with. When he attempted to kiss my cheek, my hand shot out and slapped his cheek before I could stop myself. Zacky just frowned, rubbed his slightly red cheek, and walked away to the other end of the living room.
That night, he slept on the couch in the living room. I couldn’t stand to be anywhere near him any longer. I didn’t even feel guilty anymore. I just felt this horrible hate that I couldn’t appease. Still, it scared and confused me. I decided that I had caught the break-up plague, and dreaded it.
Then, the next day, Zack hated me just as much as I loathed him. We spent the day glaring daggers at each other. The bus began to become segregated, with Jimmy and Melrose and Kim and Johnny stuck in the middle. Jen, Rayne, and I would sit on one end of the living room; Matt, Syn, and Zacky would sit on the other end. Jimmy, Melrose, Johnny, and Kim sat right smack dab in the middle, not even bothering to attempt to form a truce. The two warring groups would hiss insults at each other, the next one crueler than the last.
“Zacky, you’re a whore.” I snapped one night before the concert. Zacky glared at me, his hazel eyes flashing with anger. He’d been talking to one of the groupies, which pissed me off because we hadn’t officially broken up.
“AM, no one wants to have sex with you anyway,” he snarled back across the room. “At least I can get some.”
“You wish,” I growled. “Girls go with you out of pity. You’re just the second shortest, slightly chubby one of the band. No girl would want you.”
“You have thunder thighs,” Zacky hissed meanly. “And you should stop eating all the fast food. Your skin is the greasiest thing I’ve ever touched.”
“Compared to you, I’m a fucking twig,” I snarled. “You’re just jealous.”
“Jealous of what? A pale, fat, greasy-skinned, bleached-blonde wanna-be rockstar who contributes nothing to the band and just hangs along for the fame and riches? I doubt it,” Zacky retorted scathingly.
“I am a natural blonde!” I screamed. “The orange and yellow is dyed, but my blonde isn’t!”
“Keep telling yourself that,” Zacky replied sharply. “It might come true one day.”
“Prepare to die,” I growled.
“Your punch probably feels like being punched by a balloon,” Zacky retorted. I started across the room towards him, ready to punch his lights out. We’ll see who punches like a balloon. Suddenly, Melrose stepped in my way, grabbed my arms, and dragged me in a whole different direction of Zacky. I growled at her, struggling against her hold. She ignored me, pulling me over to the couch and forcing me to sit down. I started to stand up again, but she plopped down on my lap, pinning me there.
“Melrose!” I hissed angrily, struggling to make her get off. “Let me hit him! Just once!”
“No,” Melrose answered simply. “I’m sick of all of you guys warring against each other.”
“He called me mean names!”
“You called him mean names. Two wrongs don’t make a right.” Melrose replied.
“So? I don’t want to make a right. I want to punch his fucking head off of his body!” I snapped, trying to scramble out from beneath her.
“Sorry,” Melrose said calmly, looking down at her nails. “You’re stuck here until the concert.”
“Why are you siding with him!?” I cried.
“I’m not siding with anyone,” Melrose told me. “I’m just making sure no one gets hurt before the concert. Wouldn’t that be good media fodder? I can see the headlines now: RHYTHM GUITARISTS GET IN SCUFFLE, SHOCKS MUSIC WORLD.”
I fell silent, still fuming about Zacky’s comments. I glanced over in time to see him stick his tongue out at me.
“Alright, that’s it!” I shrieked. With every ounce of strength I had, I shoved Melrose off of my lap and sprinted at Zacky. Before I got there, a thick arm wrapped around my waist and I was dragged against a torso. The person straightened up, and I was lifted clean off of my feet. I pedaled my feet desperately in the air, but stopped after a few moments of getting nowhere.
“Calm down!” Jimmy exclaimed from above me. I glared at Zacky before pointing angrily at him.
“It’s OVER!” I shrieked.
“Good!” Zacky retorted. “I’m glad!”
I continued to glare as Jimmy took me back to the couch and put me down. Melrose picked herself up off of the floor, tucking her bangs back behind her ear. I sank voluntarily down onto the couch, breathing heavily.
Deep down inside me, deep inside my heart, hidden from even my current self, I knew that I would come to regret that decision.
Is it usual to want to love someone until the end of eternity one day, and then the next day want to just bludgeon him to death with a Spork because you hate him so much?
I didn’t think so.
But that’s honestly what happened between Zack and I. Literally, I went to bed loving that man with all my heart, and woke up the next morning prepared to gnaw his arm off so I could get away from him.
I wasn’t sure where all this hatred came from. It scared me at first. It felt powerful, burrowing deep down into the roots of my heart, and I knew I couldn’t control it. It also felt strange; I’d never hated Zack in my whole life. But then, just BLAM, out of nowhere, a murderous, violent hate erupted in my chest. I swallowed it down; I knew I didn’t hate Zack.
Didn’t I love him?
I survived being near him that day. He didn’t seem to have that powerful hate building in his chest. For his sake, I swallowed my hate. I’d never felt so confused. He kept asking me what’s wrong; I kept saying that I didn’t feel that good. I just didn’t know what was happening: Was I diseased? Had I caught the break-up plague that seemed to float around this tour? It struck Rayne and Syn’s and Matt and Jen’s relationships. Had it struck mine as well?
The next day, my hatred got worse. Everything Zack did annoyed me. I snapped at the poor guy all day for little things that he did every other day that I had no problem with. When he attempted to kiss my cheek, my hand shot out and slapped his cheek before I could stop myself. Zacky just frowned, rubbed his slightly red cheek, and walked away to the other end of the living room.
That night, he slept on the couch in the living room. I couldn’t stand to be anywhere near him any longer. I didn’t even feel guilty anymore. I just felt this horrible hate that I couldn’t appease. Still, it scared and confused me. I decided that I had caught the break-up plague, and dreaded it.
Then, the next day, Zack hated me just as much as I loathed him. We spent the day glaring daggers at each other. The bus began to become segregated, with Jimmy and Melrose and Kim and Johnny stuck in the middle. Jen, Rayne, and I would sit on one end of the living room; Matt, Syn, and Zacky would sit on the other end. Jimmy, Melrose, Johnny, and Kim sat right smack dab in the middle, not even bothering to attempt to form a truce. The two warring groups would hiss insults at each other, the next one crueler than the last.
“Zacky, you’re a whore.” I snapped one night before the concert. Zacky glared at me, his hazel eyes flashing with anger. He’d been talking to one of the groupies, which pissed me off because we hadn’t officially broken up.
“AM, no one wants to have sex with you anyway,” he snarled back across the room. “At least I can get some.”
“You wish,” I growled. “Girls go with you out of pity. You’re just the second shortest, slightly chubby one of the band. No girl would want you.”
“You have thunder thighs,” Zacky hissed meanly. “And you should stop eating all the fast food. Your skin is the greasiest thing I’ve ever touched.”
“Compared to you, I’m a fucking twig,” I snarled. “You’re just jealous.”
“Jealous of what? A pale, fat, greasy-skinned, bleached-blonde wanna-be rockstar who contributes nothing to the band and just hangs along for the fame and riches? I doubt it,” Zacky retorted scathingly.
“I am a natural blonde!” I screamed. “The orange and yellow is dyed, but my blonde isn’t!”
“Keep telling yourself that,” Zacky replied sharply. “It might come true one day.”
“Prepare to die,” I growled.
“Your punch probably feels like being punched by a balloon,” Zacky retorted. I started across the room towards him, ready to punch his lights out. We’ll see who punches like a balloon. Suddenly, Melrose stepped in my way, grabbed my arms, and dragged me in a whole different direction of Zacky. I growled at her, struggling against her hold. She ignored me, pulling me over to the couch and forcing me to sit down. I started to stand up again, but she plopped down on my lap, pinning me there.
“Melrose!” I hissed angrily, struggling to make her get off. “Let me hit him! Just once!”
“No,” Melrose answered simply. “I’m sick of all of you guys warring against each other.”
“He called me mean names!”
“You called him mean names. Two wrongs don’t make a right.” Melrose replied.
“So? I don’t want to make a right. I want to punch his fucking head off of his body!” I snapped, trying to scramble out from beneath her.
“Sorry,” Melrose said calmly, looking down at her nails. “You’re stuck here until the concert.”
“Why are you siding with him!?” I cried.
“I’m not siding with anyone,” Melrose told me. “I’m just making sure no one gets hurt before the concert. Wouldn’t that be good media fodder? I can see the headlines now: RHYTHM GUITARISTS GET IN SCUFFLE, SHOCKS MUSIC WORLD.”
I fell silent, still fuming about Zacky’s comments. I glanced over in time to see him stick his tongue out at me.
“Alright, that’s it!” I shrieked. With every ounce of strength I had, I shoved Melrose off of my lap and sprinted at Zacky. Before I got there, a thick arm wrapped around my waist and I was dragged against a torso. The person straightened up, and I was lifted clean off of my feet. I pedaled my feet desperately in the air, but stopped after a few moments of getting nowhere.
“Calm down!” Jimmy exclaimed from above me. I glared at Zacky before pointing angrily at him.
“It’s OVER!” I shrieked.
“Good!” Zacky retorted. “I’m glad!”
I continued to glare as Jimmy took me back to the couch and put me down. Melrose picked herself up off of the floor, tucking her bangs back behind her ear. I sank voluntarily down onto the couch, breathing heavily.
Deep down inside me, deep inside my heart, hidden from even my current self, I knew that I would come to regret that decision.
♠ ♠ ♠
Heyloo......Zacky and AM are broken up now. Yeah. I'm sure you're all aware of that. It's useless for me to repeat it.
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