Break Down
10
I stood there watching Alex sing his heart out. I really hoped he was singing it for me but I don’t think he would since, well, we’re not together anymore. But every now and then I noticed that he stares at me and when I try to make eye contact, he looks away. I still want to be with him but I have to finish what I started with Jake in order to do that and I don’t want to hurt Jake because he’s been nothing but nice to me and I can’t repay him by breaking his heart. It’s unfair. It’s like locking up the innocent and freeing the guilty in a court hearing. As the song ended, the crowd woke me up from my thoughts and the band played another song. After the set, Jake and I sat near the bar. Alex was no where to be found.
“That was an awesome show guys!” I said greeting them as Jack, Zack and Rian sat with us.
“Thanks” the three said in chorus.
“You really rocked the house down” Jake said with a sarcastic tone filling his voice. I looked at him hoping he’d look back at me but he didn’t. Something was wrong…
“Jake can I talk to you in private?” I asked.
“Okay.”
“Guys excuse us for awhile”
“Sure” Jack said answering for the three of them. And with that I went outside and dragged Jake along with me.
“Is anything wrong?”
“No, nothings wrong everything is totally fine” Jake said sarcastically.
“Sarcasm says that something isn’t right. You can tell me anything you know”
“I’m not being sarcastic and why don’t you believe me when I say that nothing’s wrong?”
“Because you don’t seem happy to be here”
“You got that right”
“Then explain to me why you’re not happy to be here”
“Okay. First of all I was expecting an awesome show but it turned out to be bullshit with not one bit of awesome in it. Second of all, the whole time that asshole you call Alex was singing, you had your eyes on him and you wouldn’t even answer me when I called you because you were to preoccupied thinking of him and I am sick and tired of that. Seeing him around all day and you still liking him as if I’m not here and as if I never knew. Don’t take me as a fool because you know I’m smarter than that.”
“So you’re mad because you’re jealous?”
“Don’t you get it? Or are you just blind to see? I know you’re using me as a rebound and I know you still have feelings for Alex and I can’t understand why you would still like him after what he did to you. I can’t believe you never let go of him and that you never moved on.”
“It’s hard and very complicated! I don’t know how to stop feeling so weird when he’s in my house like 24/7. You wouldn’t know because I’m sure you’ve never been cheated on!”
“And how would you know that? You don’t even know half of me yet. And you can’t say that I haven’t been through the same situation because I have. Twice. I gave my ex another chance and the same things happened again. She cheated on me two times and I never ever forgave her and I don’t think I ever will. “
“I’m sorry” I said as tears started falling from my eyes. I can’t help but think that crying might turn into a daily habit.
“Just think twice before you do something” Jake said starting to walk away.
“So what? Is this it? This is the end of forever?”
“These past few days I thought I was with someone who was willing to be with me but it turns out that I was wrong. I was just being used as a rebound and I hate that feeling. The feeling of being used. Just to show him you’ve moved on? Don’t you think that’s a really shallow reason? And I can’t believe I actually let you use me. I thought you were different but I was wrong”
“I didn’t know you felt this way. You should’ve told me”
“You’ve got eyes to see right? So why don’t you use them? Words mean nothing to you. Oh wait let me rephrase that. My words mean nothing to you and I don’t think they ever will.”
“Jake, please give me another chance-“
“And watch the same things happen again? I don’t think so. Like I said, I don’t like being used. If you want, why don’t you try it some time so maybe we’ll have something else in common” he said and he walked away. He left me and I thought he never would leave me. I can’t believe he felt like that. I just realized now that everything he said was true and I really was using him as a rebound. I can’t believe someone like me can do such a thing and not even notice he or she did it. This truly proves that I can be stupid. I know that everyone thinks so because I don’t have really high scores in school but when it comes to things like this I thought I’d get an A but it turns out it was just the same.
I sat down at the side of the building, in a dark alley hoping no one would find me. But all my hopes always turn out useless because what I hope for doesn’t come instead it’s the total opposite.
Alex found me sitting in the dark and he sat beside me. I wondered why he knew I was here and why he’d bother to sit down but I didn’t want him to go away I wanted him right there, right where he was sitting.
“I’m sorry about you and Jake.”
“It wasn’t your fault”
“Partly was”
“You heard everything?”
“Ya, because you two were so loud, even louder than the music”
“Oh shut up” I said pushing his arm.
“I’m kidding. I was there. Hoping you’d find me but instead I found you and Jake arguing your hearts out.”
“Well, I’m sorry you had to hear all that.”
“It’s fine. It kinda reminded me of something though”
“Really? What?”
“It reminded me about the time we used to argue but laugh at everything at the end. And we always ended up saying sorry and everything was alright again as if that argument never even happened.” he said and I stayed silent as tears kept falling from my eyes. It was just like the rain except it never ended. He wiped them away and cupped my face in his hands. He kissed me again and I had no intention of pulling away. Nothing can ever take me away from Alexander William Gaskarth and I hope nothing can take me away from him. This might be the end of Jake and me but it’s a brand new beginning with Alex and something inside me tells me that he won’t make the same mistake again and I pray that he won’t.
Things might turn out bad sometimes but you just have to let it in order to attain something good. And life has to be complicated and it has to be filled up with problems so that we can live it. Nothing can ever separate me from Alex ever again and I never want to be separated from him. And as I hold on to his hand, I pray that it will always be there now and forever…
The End
“That was an awesome show guys!” I said greeting them as Jack, Zack and Rian sat with us.
“Thanks” the three said in chorus.
“You really rocked the house down” Jake said with a sarcastic tone filling his voice. I looked at him hoping he’d look back at me but he didn’t. Something was wrong…
“Jake can I talk to you in private?” I asked.
“Okay.”
“Guys excuse us for awhile”
“Sure” Jack said answering for the three of them. And with that I went outside and dragged Jake along with me.
“Is anything wrong?”
“No, nothings wrong everything is totally fine” Jake said sarcastically.
“Sarcasm says that something isn’t right. You can tell me anything you know”
“I’m not being sarcastic and why don’t you believe me when I say that nothing’s wrong?”
“Because you don’t seem happy to be here”
“You got that right”
“Then explain to me why you’re not happy to be here”
“Okay. First of all I was expecting an awesome show but it turned out to be bullshit with not one bit of awesome in it. Second of all, the whole time that asshole you call Alex was singing, you had your eyes on him and you wouldn’t even answer me when I called you because you were to preoccupied thinking of him and I am sick and tired of that. Seeing him around all day and you still liking him as if I’m not here and as if I never knew. Don’t take me as a fool because you know I’m smarter than that.”
“So you’re mad because you’re jealous?”
“Don’t you get it? Or are you just blind to see? I know you’re using me as a rebound and I know you still have feelings for Alex and I can’t understand why you would still like him after what he did to you. I can’t believe you never let go of him and that you never moved on.”
“It’s hard and very complicated! I don’t know how to stop feeling so weird when he’s in my house like 24/7. You wouldn’t know because I’m sure you’ve never been cheated on!”
“And how would you know that? You don’t even know half of me yet. And you can’t say that I haven’t been through the same situation because I have. Twice. I gave my ex another chance and the same things happened again. She cheated on me two times and I never ever forgave her and I don’t think I ever will. “
“I’m sorry” I said as tears started falling from my eyes. I can’t help but think that crying might turn into a daily habit.
“Just think twice before you do something” Jake said starting to walk away.
“So what? Is this it? This is the end of forever?”
“These past few days I thought I was with someone who was willing to be with me but it turns out that I was wrong. I was just being used as a rebound and I hate that feeling. The feeling of being used. Just to show him you’ve moved on? Don’t you think that’s a really shallow reason? And I can’t believe I actually let you use me. I thought you were different but I was wrong”
“I didn’t know you felt this way. You should’ve told me”
“You’ve got eyes to see right? So why don’t you use them? Words mean nothing to you. Oh wait let me rephrase that. My words mean nothing to you and I don’t think they ever will.”
“Jake, please give me another chance-“
“And watch the same things happen again? I don’t think so. Like I said, I don’t like being used. If you want, why don’t you try it some time so maybe we’ll have something else in common” he said and he walked away. He left me and I thought he never would leave me. I can’t believe he felt like that. I just realized now that everything he said was true and I really was using him as a rebound. I can’t believe someone like me can do such a thing and not even notice he or she did it. This truly proves that I can be stupid. I know that everyone thinks so because I don’t have really high scores in school but when it comes to things like this I thought I’d get an A but it turns out it was just the same.
I sat down at the side of the building, in a dark alley hoping no one would find me. But all my hopes always turn out useless because what I hope for doesn’t come instead it’s the total opposite.
Alex found me sitting in the dark and he sat beside me. I wondered why he knew I was here and why he’d bother to sit down but I didn’t want him to go away I wanted him right there, right where he was sitting.
“I’m sorry about you and Jake.”
“It wasn’t your fault”
“Partly was”
“You heard everything?”
“Ya, because you two were so loud, even louder than the music”
“Oh shut up” I said pushing his arm.
“I’m kidding. I was there. Hoping you’d find me but instead I found you and Jake arguing your hearts out.”
“Well, I’m sorry you had to hear all that.”
“It’s fine. It kinda reminded me of something though”
“Really? What?”
“It reminded me about the time we used to argue but laugh at everything at the end. And we always ended up saying sorry and everything was alright again as if that argument never even happened.” he said and I stayed silent as tears kept falling from my eyes. It was just like the rain except it never ended. He wiped them away and cupped my face in his hands. He kissed me again and I had no intention of pulling away. Nothing can ever take me away from Alexander William Gaskarth and I hope nothing can take me away from him. This might be the end of Jake and me but it’s a brand new beginning with Alex and something inside me tells me that he won’t make the same mistake again and I pray that he won’t.
Things might turn out bad sometimes but you just have to let it in order to attain something good. And life has to be complicated and it has to be filled up with problems so that we can live it. Nothing can ever separate me from Alex ever again and I never want to be separated from him. And as I hold on to his hand, I pray that it will always be there now and forever…
The End