Love Is a Carnival Goldfish

I watched the green fields fly by as my mum drove along the road in our silver Volvo.
“Brittany, there’s something that I need to tell you.” My mum said and her voice cracked. “Oh God, I thought I was done with this…”
“Mom, what’s the matter?” I asked and turned quickly to her, with concern in my voice.
“I haven’t wanted to tell you because I’ve been denying it myself.”
“What is it mum?” I asked and panic came into my voice.
“Aunt Ann and Uncle Chris are getting a divorce.” She said a quick sob broke from her lips.
“What?” I said and a quick breath escaped my lips. “When?” I asked, too shocked to say anything else.
“May, I didn’t want to tell you.” She said. May? That was a month ago.
I just stared out the window, I couldn’t feel anything, my whole body went numb, and all I could think of was how our family is broken. We’re broken. The 15 minutes until we got home passed in silence. When mum turned the car off, I slowly got out of the car, it was like I was in a trance.
“Come here, honey.” My mum said enveloped in a hug. Instantly sobs came from deep down inside and my whole body shook. “Shhhh…” she whispered in my ear. “Everything’s going to be fine.”
“It won’t be! I can’t be!” I sobbed.
“We’ll get through this.” She said in a soft voice. “This just means that we’re going to have to be stronger then ever.”

I hardly talked for a week after that. My parents were always giving me concerned looks and asking if I wanted to talk about it, but I would just shake my head and go up to my room. Jonathan tried talking to me too, but I would always change the subject.
“Have you talked to Jordan or Calida about it?” My best friend Cecilia asked me one June day when we were sitting out sun bathing by the pool at my house in Dallas.
“I doubt Jordan will talk about it…” I sighed, thinking of my 22 year old cousin. “He’s such a strong guy. But I talked to Calida last night and we talked about it a little. I mean, it’s hard enough for me because they’re my aunt and uncle. But fuck, having it be your parents?”
“Yeah…” She said.
“Let’s not talk about this.” I said and turned over onto my back. “How’s it going with James, Lil?” I asked her, using my favourite nickname for her.
“I think he’s going to ask me out soon!” Lil smiled. “We were texting for hours yesterday!” She said and started gushing about James, who’s her newest crush. I swear she’s liked every hot guy in school (there are a lot of hot guys at our school.)
Lil prattled on for a good 15 minutes about what they’d talked about and I would add the occasional, “Wow” or “Cool” to indicate for her to keep going.
“I think I’m gonna get a Coke, do you want one?” I asked her, when she’d stopped to take a breath.
“Sure, I’m not boring you am I?” She asked.
“No! It’s nice to talk about things other then the divorce.” I smile, reassuring her and headed into the house to get us Cokes.

As I slid open the glass backdoor I heard my mom talking on the phone, “I’m really worried about her Jon……No, she’s not really talking to anybody……I don’t know about Cecilia……I don’t want to seem over baring……Well thank you, sweetheart……I was actually thinking that maybe it would be good for her to come and spend some time with you and the band……Oh that’s wonderful! When will you be here?……That’s perfect. I’ll tell her today……I’m sure that she’ll love it……Okay, by sweetheart, I love you……Mmmhmm, bye.” She finished a hung up the phone.
“Oh, there you are Brittany.” Mom smiled at me, once she noticed me standing in the doorway.
“Were you just talking to Jon?” I asked and went to the fridge.
“Yes, and we were talking about you going and spending time with him and the band, to you know, get away for a little bit. Plus, your father and I are hardly ever here.”
“Mom, I’m really okay, you don’t need to send me off with the guys so they can watch over me. I’m a big girl.” I sighed.
“Well it’s too late now; they’re going to be here tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow!?” I said, shocked, pissed off, and horrified. “There is no way in hell that I’ll be ready by tomorrow!”
“Well then you better get packing.” She said.
“Ugh!” I screamed, slammed the fridge door and stomped out of the house.
“I will not take that tone young lady!” She yelled after me.
“What’s going on?” Lil asked me when I came next to her.
“My mum’s making me go on Warped with Jon for the rest of the summer.” I sighed and opened my Coke.
“Really!?” She said, looking excited. “That’s awesome!”
“No Lil, it’s not! You’re just excited because that means you get to see Caleb! I’m not excited because this means that I’m gonna be gone all summer!” I huffed and took a gulp of Coke.
“Well… you’re right about the Caleb thing…” Lil’s liked him for a long time. “And you’re right about you being gone the whole summer. But maybe I could go on some of it with you!”
“Oh my God, you’re right! Ask your parents right now!” I smiled and pointed at her phone, which was lying on the ground next to her lounge chair.
“Aren’t I always?” Lil said in a superior tone and I rolled my eyes. “I highly doubt that I’ll be able to go with you for the whole thing. But maybe a week or two…”
“Just ask, Lil!” I sighed.
Having Lil with me would make things a whole lot better. Jonathan might be a little less worried about me with someone else there. But knowing him, and the whole band, I would not be left alone.