To Be Loved

After you leave that morning, life goes back to normal, I guess. I fall asleep alone, I wake up alone. I see Ellie around once or twice, but she ignores me, as usual. I think about calling you a couple of times, but figure you’re busy, so I don’t bother you. I work some extra shifts to fill up my spare time and keep me from thinking too much, and one day you stop by the shop while I was making an appointment for a large, heavily tattooed man.

“Okay sir, and what do you want to get and where, exactly?” I say half jokingly, not expecting him to get it.

“I want to get a flaming skull on the inside of my elbow,” he says in a gruff voice. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing at the cliché, but dutifully pencil him in for his appointment.

“Alright, you’re all set. We’ll see you in a week,” I say with a courteous smile. I’m still looking down at the appointment calendar when I hear your voice.

“Um, yeah, I’d like to get ‘Audrey’ tattooed across my forehead, please?”

I look up to see you grinning at me impishly. Instantly, my day is better. I leap over the counter into your opened arms, and hug you tight.

“Oli!” I say, feeling your hands rub my back gently. I rest my head on your shoulder and breathe lightly, your scent gracing my nose and your presence putting me in a semi-euphoric state of mind. You pull away and throw your arm around my shoulder, walking me towards the door.

“Oh, and I’m stealing you for the day, by the by,” you say mischeiviously. The offer is tempting, but I know I have to stay. Rent’s getting higher and I can’t afford to miss a single day of work. I pull myself out from under your arm, immediately missing it’s warmth.

“Oli, I’d love to but I really do need to work,” I say. Your bottom lip puckers in a pout and my heart melts at the sight. You really are too beautiful for your own good, you know.

“Aww, c’mon Audrey, please? I haven’t had you to myself in forever, and I miss you.” You say, speaking the words I’ve been waiting so desperately to hear. It’s nice to know that you need me sometimes, Oli. Even though I know it, it’s nice to hear it out loud. As much as it pains me, I know I have to say no.

“Oli I really do need to work. Can’t we do something another day? Like this weekend or something?” I say, pulling at straws, not wanting you to feel rejected. Your brow furrows and I can tell you’re looking ahead, trying to find some day that you won’t be occupied with Ellie. Your eyebrows shoot up and your face brightens. I smile almost unconsciously at your face.

“How about you come out with me tonight? We can go dancing and get drunk out of our minds or something,” you say. My smile grows and I nod my head quickly. You smile back and lean forward to kiss me on the cheek. I blush slightly and beam back at you.

“Okay, so I’ll pick you up later, alright? I’ll call you or something,” you say. “Alright,” I reply, already excited. You kiss my cheek again and walk out the door quickly. I sit back behind the desk and check the clock, already counting down the minutes until I can go home to get ready.
Later that night, as I’m getting ready, my phone rings. I pick it up without looking at the caller I.D, already knowing that it’s you.

“Hello?” I say, holding the phone between my head and my shoulder so I can finish putting on my eyeliner.

“Hey dollface! We’re still on for tonight, mais oui?” You say. I love it when you add French into your sentences, Oli. It’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever heard.

I giggle and say “No, I’ve decided to ditch you and go dancing by myself, silly. Of course we’re still on for tonight. When are you planning on picking me up?”

I hear a knocking at the door and go over, still on the phone. “Hold on, someone’s at the door,” I tell you, opening it.

And there you are, in all your beauty. Your dark hair is tousled, you’ve obviously just woken up from a nap. You’re wearing a black v-neck shirt that shows off the tattoos across your chest and on your neck. Your jeans are dark-wash, but not too skinny. You always joke that you feel like you can’t breathe in skinny jeans. You smile at me and snap your phone shut, leaning forward to kiss my cheek.

“Hey sweetie. You look gorgeous,” you say. I know you’re lying but I let myself believe you. I greet you quietly and open the door, letting you in.

“As is obvious, I’m not ready to go yet,” I say, turning around to face you. Only one of my eyes is made-up, and I’ve yet to get around to finding my shoes. You laugh and nod your head. “No big deal, love. We’ve got all the time in the world.”

I smile and nod, walking back to the bathroom to finish putting on my makeup. You come in and sit on the counter next to the sink, watching me.

“Hey Audrey, why do you wear all that stuff?” you ask me, your head tilted to the side in genuine curiosity. I look over at you and say:

“What, clothes? Well it’s kind of a social necessity, Oli..” I reply, confused.

“No, no, I mean the make up. You don’t need that shit, sweetheart. You’re so pretty without it.” You say this, and my heart melts. You are so perfect in this moment; your feet dangling from the counter, your green eyes looking directly into mine. It hurts me to be so close to you. But I’ll never let go.

“O-Oh,” I say, bewildered by the sudden genuineness amongst all our joking. “I dunno, it’s fun, I guess.”

You look at me, unconvinced, but drop the subject, moving on to the subject of how good my lip gloss smelled. Something’s different about you tonight, Oli, but I can’t put my finger on it.