Sex Drive

A knot formed in my stomach, as I looked around my new found friends. They were all grinning at us expectantly, which frankly freaked me out. I nudged Eva with my knee, as a signal for her to climb off me, and I didn’t look up as I knew everyone was watching me. I began to shake. I couldn’t do this.

“Sorry guys, I just...” I started, taking my coat from the back of the chair. “..I can’t,” I didn’t even look at Eva, I caught Josh frowning from the corner of my eye. “I need t-t-to go,” I stuttered.

“Why?” Kyle asked, as I made the mistake of taking my eyes off the floor. Everyone was, indeed staring at me in disbelief and in Josh’s case, disgust. What the hell have I done wrong, seriously?

“Guys, this is seriously weird. I only met Eva last night!” I exclaimed, panicking. Why did I feel like I was going to get lynched?

I looked at Eva, who looked panicked herself. I had to get out.

“I’m going. Sorry. Eva, I like you, but I need to take this slow if we’re going to work.”

Without waiting for an answer, I left Starbucks, onto River Street, which wasn’t as full of people as it usually would be on a Sunday afternoon. I staggered over to a bench nearby to sit down, giving my weak and withering legs a rest. What the hell was with those people? My god…

“Sean? Are you okay?” I looked up to see Oliver coming out of Starbucks. I checked behind him to see if anybody had followed him.

“Oliver, what the hell is with your friends?” I started, looking up at him. “Why are they so freakish on me being with Eva so fast?”

“They just want her to be happy, Sean. And you’re a good guy…”

“Yeah but if they want her to be happy, surely we should take it slow? Yeah she might be ready for a relationship now but what about me? I don’t wanna rush into anything. I like her. I wanna do things right,” I sighed, taking a sip of my drink.

“I know Sean…It’s okay, I’ll talk to ‘em later. Don’t worry.” Oli came over and patted me on the shoulder before walking back into Starbucks.

I sighed, leaning back into the bench, sucking up the froth from the bottom of my Starbucks cup, watching the people go by. I began to relax, clear my head. I knew this was the right thing for me to do. If I was going to lose my Virginity soon, and as comfortably as I wanted to, then I had to do it like this. And if Eva liked me as much as she makes out, she would wait.

In all honesty, this was the first time in a long time I felt this happy. I sort of had a girlfriend A new bunch of friends, if a bit scary and obsessive, and if I wanted to lose my Virginity now, I damn well could.

Fucking brilliant it is.

Well, it was fucking brilliant until I saw the last face I wanted to see emerge from the crowd.

“Shitting hell, look who it ain’t,” Ian wandered over, in his usual cocky swagger. Alone. I sighed, rubbing my eyes. I wanted to pretend he wasn’t there.

“What do you want Ian?” I asked, exasperated.

“You still as pathetic as I left you?” He growled, putting on his stupid cocky smile.

“Fuck off Ian, I can’t be arsed with you at the moment,” I avoided his prying gaze by looking at my shoes.

“Still a Virgin, I bet,” Ian grinned. “Pathetic. Can’t even pull. What use are you as a guy if you can’t pull?”

“What use are you as a guy if you get AIDS from shagging all the girls in Cardiff and your dick falls off?” I retorted, making Ian stand back a little.

“At least I have a dick that can fall off!” Ian almost shouted, gaining strange looks from passers-by.

“At least I know I’m gonna live ‘til I’m 20!” I shouted back, standing right up in front of Ian. I could smell the alcohol on him from half a metre away.

“Oh, so Seany wants a fight now does he?” Ian clenched his fists, trying to stare me down, biting his lip, trying to look ‘ard. Despite my heart racing ten to the dozen, I clenched my fists back. If I was ever going to fight Ian, it was going to be now. While I was on his happy-high.

“I’m sick of your shit Ian. I’m not dealing with it anymore. You were never a good friend to me, ever!” I screamed truthfully. I noticed we began to gather an audience.

“I never considered you a friend anyway, stupid pathetic pussy. You’re nothing like Matty or Oli, they’re not afraid of touching a girl for fucks sake. Girls don’t fucking bite Sean!” He retorted.

“No, but do you wanna know the real reason why I was always scared to have sex with a girl? Because of you! You were always having to get checked out at the clinic for diseases, you fucking 7 girls a night would cause so much hurt for so many people, so many of the poor girl’s boyfriends, their best friends… You broke friendships with it, Ian! I was under the impression that whenever someone had sex, all those repercussions happened the next day! And whatever you did, or should I say, whoever you did, you would always leave for me to clean up and sort out. Always leave me to comfort the hurt girl or hurt best friend. Me! Your stupid, pussy, pathetic best friend Sean. The guy who didn’t fuck ‘til he was 19 years old. Your victim for 7 years. Well not any fucking more.” I exhaled, almost out of breath after giving that speech. I looked into Ian’s eyes, as they just stared at me blankly.

“You’ve lost it?” Ian asked.

“No. But I have a girlfriend that I can lose it to, whenever I like. Not when you push me into it with some stripper like you’ve tried to do in the past,” I rolled my eyes, staring at the floor again. I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation with him. I vowed never to even talk to the twat again.

To my half surprise, Ian burst into laughter.

“Hahahaha, No you don’t Sean! You couldn’t pull a hamster if you tried!” He curled over, clutching his stomach as he laughed.

“I’ll fucking prove it to you then,” I stormed back into Starbucks, leaving Ian stood out on the street. As I approached the group again, a tense aura formed in the air.

“Sean,” Oli said, smiling.

“Eva, c’mere. I need to talk to you in private,” I decided not to tell her I was using her to prove a point. She looked up, gasping slightly, staring into my eyes.

“O-okay,” She stuttered, and I took her hand, lacing her fingers with mine. The tense air dropped as soon as our hands touched , and Josh stopped glaring at me.

I took her outside, to see Ian stood by the bench, waiting expectantly.

To my utter surprise, Eva gasped and gripped my hand tight.

“Ian Watkins,” She whispered. Ian looked up, and his face fell as soon as he saw her.

“Wait - you 2 know each other?” My eyes flickered between them both, as they stared at each other in disbelief.

“Your new girlfriend is Eva Spence?” Ian asked, looking up at me.

“Yeah…what’s going on? Why do you both look so…Surprised to see each other?”

Ian began to laugh again, covering his mouth with his hand. “She’s just as bad as you are, Smith! Why did I never think to pair you two up before?”

“Eva what is he talking about?” I let go of her hand, demanding an explanation. I wouldn’t get one out of Ian, that was for sure.

“You know Kyle and Josh told you about my ex boyfriend that hurt me a lot?” Eva said quietly, looking at the floor. “It was Ian.”

My chest began to burn, as I looked up at a giggling Ian. “You Bastard.” I growled. “When Kyle told me her ex had cheated on her a lot I shoulda known it was you,”

“Oh come on, she was easy! I said I’d go out with her so I could pop her cherry, and then I moved on to bigger and better things. This is what guys do, Sean! This is what we’re known for. Being cheating bastards,”

“I loved you.” Eva sobbed, taking my hand again.

Ian scoffed. “Girls. They feel too much. Fucking useless they are. Not actually, the only thing they’re good for is a shag.”

Before my mind registered it, I let go of Eva’s hand and flew my fist at Ian’s face, with every hurt, every anger, and every humiliation he had put Eva and I through behind it.