It's Really Happening

It turned out that planning the wedding became easier when Eris and I were separated, which saddened me when I realized it. But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made: when we were together, we were far more likely to become distracted with other projects.

Having some time to myself in Josh’s and my apartment allowed me to get a good handle on all the work that had to be done for the wedding. The fact that Josh spent most of his days (after noon, of course) at practice with the guys actually worked well for the two of us because it allowed both of us to get work done so we could spend time together at night without having to worry about anything.

Although, about a month after Eris had left and when I was finally beginning to think that I had everything under control for the wedding plans, Josh dropped a bombshell. Tour.

Normally, I was more than psyched for Every Avenue to go on tour, no matter what time of the year it was. But considering we had planned our wedding to be in October and the tour was from the end of July to the middle of September, this news was not exactly sitting well with me.

Which is probably why Josh took so much time in finding “the right moment” to tell me.

After I found out that Eris had known for three weeks, I threw a little bit of a tantrum. Luckily nothing too expensive was broken, but it felt as though the hairline fracture in our relationship had finally cracked.

I couldn’t help but be furious at Josh, even though in the back of my mind I knew there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Through the entire time I was screaming my lungs out at him, all he could do was stand there and take it because he honestly didn’t know what to say. By the time I was done, I didn’t know what else to do besides tell him to leave.

And he did.

But the moment the door closed behind him, my mind went blank. At that moment, I couldn’t think about anything; it was as though something in my head had short-circuited and now there was only a void.

As I sank down to the floor in my vacant state, I barely noticed Dexter slink forward cautiously and whine softly before hesitantly licking my hand. I stared at the floor as I ran my fingers through Dexter’s fur a few times, slowly regaining my sense of self.

I stayed on the hardwood floor for a long time, so long that by the time I actually stood up it felt as though my legs had forgotten how they were supposed to work. I grasped the edge of the kitchen counter to steady myself before reaching for my phone, which is when I saw the multitude of messages and missed calls I hadn’t acknowledged earlier.

The last call I had missed was from Dave, so I dialed his number as I shuffled towards the bedroom with Dexter trotting close behind. I couldn’t be sure of what Dave said to me the moment he picked up the phone, because my head was just short of being functional. It didn’t matter much, because I was able to get out the three words I wanted to:

“Send him home.”

I curled up on our bed with Dexter and closed my eyes as I waited for Josh to come home. No less than two minutes later, I heard the front door open and close softly and Dexter immediately jumped off the bed and ran to see who it was.

I rolled over onto my back as Josh stepped through the doorway with Dexter in his arms. As he set the puppy down onto the bed, he laid down next to me and pulled me into his arms. I closed my eyes again as he kissed my forehead and whispered in my ear,

“I was outside the whole time. I couldn’t leave you.”

“I love you,” I whispered softly as I bit my lip to keep from crying. Josh kissed me again and held me tightly.

“I love you too. It’ll all be okay.”

Time passed in the blink of an eye, and suddenly it was the day Josh was leaving for tour. These sorts of days were the hardest for both of us, especially since Josh was so bad at packing.

“Do you have everything?” I asked as I opened his suitcase to see the mass of wrinkled clothes and an assortment of trinkets.

“I think so,” Josh answered. “But if I forget anything…”

“Yes, I’ll bring it to you.” I rolled my eyes. Josh smiled at me and reached out for my hand. I sat down next to him on the bed and he put his arms around me as he kissed my cheek.

"You know, this tour stops in Vegas…"

"…and?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow.

"We could always get married there. We'd have all of our friends already." Josh smiled cheekily and I rolled my eyes again.

"Our parents would kill us."

"Yeah…" I stood up and chuckled.

"Besides, if we got married in Vegas, everyone would show up in Glamour Kills.” Josh chuckled and nodded. “No way am I having that happening.”

“So I have to wear a tux?” Josh asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I know you think it’s awful, but I think you look handsome in a tux.” I leaned down and kissed Josh sweetly and he chuckled.

“As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”

The last few hours before Josh and the other guys left were spent just like any other day: goofing off. Even if I had tried to get them to be organized, it wouldn’t have worked. They were stuck in their old habits, and old habits always died hard.

When the time came that they really had to go, I found it to be even harder to say goodbye than the last time Josh left for tour. Even though I’d be seeing them all in just a matter of weeks, it was the weeks that I would be without him that was all I could think about.

Strangely, for the first time I wasn’t the only one feeling over-emotional. I could see in Josh’s eyes that he wasn’t 100% excited as he normally was for tour. Something had changed in both of us, and it made me worry that I might be replacing something in Josh’s life that I shouldn’t be.

“I’ll miss you,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against mine. I smiled as I looked up at him before I gave him a kiss.

“An hour back on the road and you’ll forget all about little ol’ me.” I chuckled a little and bit my lip as I waited momentarily for him to object.

“I never forget about you.” Josh pulled me close and kissed me again before adding, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Lovebirds! We gotta go!” Dave yelled from the van.

“We’re gonna leave ya!” Jimmie added with a laugh.

“All right!” Josh yelled back. “One minute!”

“Go, go! I’ll be fine.” I smiled at Josh and he kissed me one more time.

“Love you.” He smiled at me before bending down to pet Dexter on the head. “Bye Dex.”

“Dexter!” I called a moment later when he started running after Josh. “Come back!” I grabbed him just before he leapt into the van, but he started whimpering when the door closed and they began to pull away.

A chorus of “Bye Abby!” echoed as the van drove away, and I stood in place with Dexter in my arms as I watched it leave. Dexter whimpered again and I hushed him.

“I’ll miss him too. Come on, Dex.” I put him down and headed back towards our apartment, keeping a hand on Dexter’s collar to make sure he followed.

Just after I got inside with Dexter in tow, my phone went off and I saw that I had a text from Josh.

5 minutes down, still missing you <3

I spent the next few days in a sort of haze of not particularly getting anything worthwhile done. It was always like this right after the guys left for tour, as much as I hated to admit it, I went into a small bout of depression. Normally I had something to keep myself occupied, but nothing held my attention for as long as I needed it to.

About a week and a half after the guys left, I decided I’d had enough of moping around the apartment. It was time to do something, and the only thing I could think of to do was to travel to California a bit earlier than I originally planned.

The moment I got off the plane and picked up Dexter, I dialed Eris’ number and could only imagine what she was going to say when I told her I was at SFO.

“…you’re not serious, are you?”

“Mhmm. I’m at baggage claim.”

“No shit. That’s so…weird.”

“Why?” I asked as I sat down on a bench near the carousel with Dexter next to me.

“Because I’m right behind you.” I spun around when I heard Eris’ voice and I burst into laughter.

“What are you doing here?!”

“I was going to come see you! It’s very boring here without you!” Eris laughed as we hugged each other and Dexter barked excitedly. “Hi Dexter!”

After dropping Dexter off with Giselle at Eris’ apartment, oddly enough with not as much persuasion to look after the “demon ball of fur” as I expected, Eris and I headed downtown for some more wedding preparation.

“Okay, I know I’ve said this before, but…” Eris chuckled. “Shouldn’t you have done this ages ago?”

“Hush, you!” I said as we headed into Bloomingdale’s. “Why would I do this alone when I could do it with you?”

“Aww,” Eris cooed. “Out of context, that sounds really dirty.”

“Most things do.” I smiled as we headed towards customer service to inquire about wedding registries. Truth be told, Eris was right when she said I should’ve done this ages ago. But because I always have been and always will be one stubborn ass, I wasn’t going to admit it.

After a few silly rounds of using the gift registry scanner guns for every conceivable purpose other than their intended, we got down to the business of choosing things for friends and family to buy for me. Well, for Josh too, but really mostly for me since all he needed was his guitar and his woman. Or so he said.

“I’m sure if Josh got a lifetime supply of Taco Bell, he’d be the happiest boy in the world.”

“Too bad Taco Bell doesn’t cater, huh?” I rolled my eyes. “Actually, I take it back. If the idea was ever brought up in front of the guys, they’d jump at the chance.”

“Yes. And you’re far too classy for that.” Eris chuckled as she scanned every item on the shelf she was admiring. It was filled with fancy cookware and appliances, so I had no issue with adding those to the registry.

After all, one of the biggest perks of getting married is all the free shit. As I was told in my first few days of college, it’s all about the free shit.

As we wandered around the entirety of Bloomingdale’s, eventually we strayed into the men’s section and quickly became distracted by the array of hats. Once we discovered the collection of scarves, all bets were off.

“You know who this reminds me of?” I asked as I shifted the position of the hat I was currently wearing.

“Shawn?”

“Get out of my brain!” I laughed and Eris blinked.

“No, I mean, Shawn!” I turned around and sure enough, there was Shawn Harris standing a mere fifteen feet away from the two of us. As Eris took off to say hello, I marveled at the fact that no matter where we were, there was never a shortage of musicians around.

“Well, hello stranger!”

“…Eris!…Abby!” Shawn chuckled. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“I feel as though we should be saying that to you. Didn’t take you for a Bloomingdale’s man.” I eyed him suspiciously.

“Same to you, madam.”

“What are you doing here, anyway?” Eris asked.

“Same as you two. Browsing!” he replied as he stole the hat off of Eris’ head and applied it to his own. I chuckled as I lifted the scanner and leaned it against my shoulder.

“Somehow I doubt you’re doing the same sort of browsing.” Shawn raised an eyebrow at the pair of us and we both gave him the same cheeky smile.

“Explain, please?” he asked as he leaned on the adjacent shelf.

“What are you doing October 15th?” I asked nonchalantly, although keeping the same smile.

“Well, I’d have to check my schedule, but…if there were something important that day…”

“You could say that,” Eris said with a chuckle. I took that as a cue to lift up my left hand and wiggle a very important finger. Shawn’s eyes immediately widened and he picked me up in a hug.

“Congratulations! When did this happen?”

“Oh…January,” Eris replied. I nudged her with my elbow and rolled my eyes.

“Why was I not informed sooner?” Shawn feigned distress. “I’m hurt!”

“Invites are in the mail. I think.” I shrugged. Eris laughed.

“We’re a bit behind on the planning still, unfortunately.”

“So I see,” Shawn remarked as he eyed the scanners in our hands. As the topic of conversation shifted to what Shawn had been up to, an idea popped into my head and a smile spread across my face.

“Shawn, you’re still DJing occasionally, right?”

“Indeed. I’ve got a gig in a few weeks, actually.”

“Excellent!” Eris clapped.

“Perfect!” I added. “I have a proposition for you.”

By the time Eris and I left Bloomingdale’s and Shawn Harris’ company, I had secured the perfect DJ for the wedding reception.

“Have I mentioned that I love Shawn?” I remarked as Eris and I walked down the street.

“He’s a sweetheart. And a damn good DJ.”

“Indubitably.” I smiled.

“Although…there was one thing I was curious about.”

“What’s that?”

“You really didn’t have anyone lined up for your reception before now?”

“…Hush, you!”